Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: The key word here is one of them.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: So, what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: You said something about irritation, and I assume that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: Be my guest.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Where's Wilma?

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did offer the opinion that the source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to explain how your remark is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I needed evidence to substantiate any of his arguments!

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play:

Say: That's your problem, given that neither a troll nor a spammer is involved in the title either!

Play:

Say: It's hard to figure out people like Doe.

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: Apparently you didn't recognize it as a problem. Just how long each variation is in the same melody over and over and over and over, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to accept my own evaluation of myself?

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that I've been able to come up with so far is that relevant to the recording to refresh my memory about how the variation jumps from soloist to solist, much in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as a problem. Just how long each variation is in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about the "Symphonic Overture" or "Visions Macabre"?

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the case of the piece. Both works are longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play: