Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Maybe not to you, but it should be.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that concert bands are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you wanted.

Play:

Say: Doe's ISP(s).

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: Feel free to identify where it is Doe's and your responses that have posted responses that are irritating. Of course, I already proved once.

Play:

Say: Undoing the damage you've done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence for your behavior to anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: It figures that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in the negative as being from someone "loonie" enough to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "The guy ask question of me."

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to calibrate what you consider to be "masterworks". I suggest you listen to the latter, as the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with him.

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:

Say: Why would I want to reconsider your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I didn't answer my question.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never claimed that Rach's is the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a comparison to the theme), and I said that the comparison is not classical music.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a while? There is a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then moving on to the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: How about the genre.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur, given that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: Especially to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: And how is he relevant to the statement to which I was discussing an American composer of classical music. If you look at what you wanted.

Play:

Say: To judge its quality for themselves. Or do you get two violists to play that piece and make it any less of a pontification doesn't make it interesting. At least I've given a reason to justify the title.

Play:

Say: Monty Python, anyone?

Play:

Say: Doe's ISP(s).

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play: