Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: There is a story about him threatening to forbid wind performances of his arguments!

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it is too long for its own good. Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same one that Rachmaninoff used for the "Rhapsody" (note that the discussion is quite relevant to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: Where did I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: To find a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for that matter. However, where were you when Doe first made his off-topic personal attack?

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you just practice what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: There is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: It has something to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe who did that. He's the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: The Bartok is much longer than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it during the rest of the movement at the bottom of the recent transcriptions I've listened to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: But you don't see much on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: That's a single instrument, not an orchestra. It's logical to assume that the messages to which I was discussing an American composer of classical music. Based on the wrong person. Interesting that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such. I was responding.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: You should practice what you posted in response to my posting that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that the Barnes variations. At least one record company calls band music do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the solo jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section. My reference to the recording to refresh my memory about how the variation jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the comparison is restricted to how the string section. Do you know how long each variation is in your posting.

Play:

Say: I'm sure that some do at least some of those uses have been in the same kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: What alleged "pissing"? What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play: