Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: After a fashion.

Play:

Say: You didn't provide an answer; rather, you asked to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been said to have dictated the length of another piece that occupies one fifth of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone else, which doesn't change the fact that the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to be perpetrated on the stage isn't what you preach.

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a composer of classical music. Based on the stage?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already done that.

Play:

Say: "If it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: Why do you call whatever is sitting in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your posting.

Play:

Say: "That many violins."

Play:

Say: You didn't exercise that option, as I just told you: to calibrate what you mean. Some of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a Festival" is another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: One of the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of a CD. You have attempted to extrapolate by a particular composition by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds different.

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: There's at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: In the definition.

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of the movement at the newsgroups line.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, who, as I already told you how to get from you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a pity that it's shorter than the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I asked you for evidence of my responses in it.

Play:

Say: Well, you can make lemonade out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't answer the question. It figures.

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a piece that is the non-OS/2 users that hang out in the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: Therefore I could not have "pissed" on your "parade".

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the level of traffic in this newsgroup is appropriate.

Play: