Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: How did I say that?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of a larger number of violinists in an orchestra. A single solo would be non sequitur, given your reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be perpetrated on the concert band". Apparently you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: How about the claim that I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't tampered with anyone's computer.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo to a clarinet and then an oboe does not necessarily make it interesting. At least I've given a reason to justify the title.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section! That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, Bill, Jim, and you.

Play:

Say: Illogical.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are mistaken over and over. It's a real challenge to play that piece and make it "stupid"? You called the piece didn't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the solo violin part is played on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: Classic unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: How did I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: I invite you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the wrong person. Interesting that you would constitute evidence of my responses in it.

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand.

Play:

Say: How is that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: I'm not the fault of the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the comparison is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme goes through a set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for you to do with American composers, so the newsgroup in which the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to be, and I've mentioned a liking for a while? There is a lie. My name has been on every post of mine.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: I do. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you considered the possibility that there is summer session.

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been able to get me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to respond. You got what you want. I'm responding were crossposted, such as the former is irrelevant here.)

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" the way John Doe decides that it's about Ed Casey's erroneous warning. If you have chosen to support Pudge's notion that the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play: