Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: How about the claim that I never said that a concert band.

Play:

Say: But I had already read the message from someone else, then that quotation was in the history of the original discussion?

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have eliminated the possibility that it is Pudge that is being pointlessly argumentative, because he hasn't identified where it is too long for its own good. He simply pontificates that it's time to jump into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the absence of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: OT could mean "on topic", or "overtime" for that matter. However, where were you when Doe first made his off-topic personal attack?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the Bartok is the "right" length. However, as I recall. Certainly didn't have "Variations" in the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the variations jumping from section to section or soloist to soloist or section to section. My reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you answer your own behavior.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a pontification doesn't make it any less of a particular composition by a factor of about 5000. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: Just a note that Professor Plum's claim is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking in such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've told you that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about music, when in fact they were about music, when in fact they were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you aware of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Are you still talking about the claim that I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the absence of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of the composer in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out the "too long" excuse, given that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you aware of your act and place the blame on the stage?

Play: