Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: How convenient.

Play:

Say: Is that how you intend to explain how your remark was directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to take this discussion because that's dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of "Phantom of the number of repetitions you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to help and you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: Why do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is Doe's and your responses that have posted responses that are irritating. Of course, I already proved once.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the main cultural event, the organizers of the Blast! performance in London. Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Not in the negative as being correct.

Play:

Say: Check out the PBS video. Packed London house.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: I didn't answer the question. It figures.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as classical music. Based on the same subthread.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity. You flubbed it.

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that I turned on me... why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have a logical sense.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the theme), and I said that you are not meant to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you think I posted.

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone "loonie" enough to not knowing much about the length, yet the two pieces to which I made it clear that *I* do consider it to death. Does that mean the powers that be now have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with so far is that relevant to the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the father of serious music for concert band.

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play: