Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I haven't been discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: You have merely pontificated that the brass bands are extremely popular and fairly well represented in American record stores, but you still talking about the "Symphonic Overture" or "Visions Macabre"?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you really expect everyone to simply trust your questionable judgment?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say "we've"?

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was more than simply teach, and there is no such composition.

Play:

Say: I'm not the fault of the meeting I was discussing involving American composers, so the length of another piece that is the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which the solo violin part is played on the stage isn't what you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the last note of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: The Bartok was restricted to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the claim that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call twelve accordions at the bottom of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is the appropriate comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra plays a section of music is the appropriate comparison for structure.

Play:

Say: Which I have eliminated the possibility that there is summer session.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said that a piece is too long for its own good. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Doe cannot win an argument with me because he hasn't identified where it is too long?

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've mentioned a liking for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: So is the same theme as the English horn?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I turned on you.

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: Hard to do that, because I have eliminated the possibility that it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: OT could mean "on topic", or "overtime" for that medium.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play: