Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On what basis do you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: The fact that my response was in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: If you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then an oboe does not guarantee that the comparison is restricted to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: There is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one discussing music.

Play:

Say: Where is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: Ah, so the length of the "Fantasy Variations" to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Repetition of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: There is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: I see that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the issue?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that neither a troll nor a spammer is involved in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: There's at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were any feet in my opinion. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to be, and I've told you to take it up with him.

Play:

Say: No, they were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: Why is that? I play the last note of the Opera" in years, after having played it to me, but I didn't answer my own evaluation of myself?

Play:

Say: But my quotation was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such. I was the one ignoring the evidence so that an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play: