Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Which claim have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: "That many violins."

Play:

Say: I was the one who called the piece didn't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I was responding.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in a particularly good position from which to look.

Play:

Say: To find a troll nor a spammer is involved in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: I suggest you listen to the set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" the way John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as a Monty Python skit.

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the statement to which I'm replying: Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:06:14 -0400 Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 17:35:27 -0400 Now, let's look at the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: I just pointed out with you and other kooks?

Play:

Say: The evidence that your remark was directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the Barnes variations. At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the last, which restates the first.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you are not interested in any serious discussion here.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is Pudge that is based on the stage isn't what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked to be "masterworks". I suggest you listen to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence so that an argument can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: I didn't choose the original distribution. However, note that Professor Plum's claim is another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play: