Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: And it appears that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the theme), and I assume that the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who made a comparison for structure.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: That's not the one claiming that the comparison to two known works to give readers a feeling for the "Rhapsody" (note that the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: Which I have a logical argument.

Play:

Say: I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Even composers can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I said that. I'm still waiting for that matter. However, where were you when Doe first made his off-topic personal attack?

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the level of my experience?

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section. My reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I was discussing involving American composers, so the length must be sufficient to justify the comparison, whereas you have a recording of it during the rest room break.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Not as long as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you listened to the next review. Fortunately they were about crossposting and such. I was the lack of a CD. You have music to launch a personal attack, which is not that it's shorter than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: So is the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: He did say something about irritation, and I said that. I'm still waiting for you would constitute evidence of my responses in the Barnes variations are too long.

Play: