) interspersed
with diamond (
) and cross (
) note heads. Play
in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking
or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.
Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.
The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff
with oval note heads () interspersed
with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play
in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking
or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.
) indicates some non-standard noise, like
a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
) indicates a note that is one semitone (in either
direction) different from the preceding note.
You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.
Say: SWTHDTM?
Play:
Say: Of what, allegedly?
Play:
Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your desk chair "objective evidence"?
Play:
Say: What you think I posted.
Play:
Say: Your memory needs some work.
Play:
Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, you're a certifiable net.kook.
Play:
Say: John who? There are lots of "another thread"s in which the solo jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section. My reference to the theme), and I asked you for evidence of my responses in the "Fantasy Variations".
Play:
Say: Evidence, please.
Play:
Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.
Play:
Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that the comparison is restricted to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the audience.
Play:
Say: Non sequitur, given your reference to Graham Chapman.
Play:
Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it did.
Play:
Say: Be my guest, if you think is irrelevant.
Play:
Say: That's your problem, given that I rode in on the concert band". Apparently you have a problem with what you're talking about.
Play:
Say: That's not even grammatical.
Play:
Say: Why do you claim that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to calibrate what you preach and play it again."
Play:
Say: On what basis do you make that claim?
Play:
Say: What alleged "parade"? I haven't been discussing anything with you.
Play:
Say: On what basis do you make that claim?
Play:
Say: How so, given that there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.
Play:
Say: On what basis do you get two violists to play that piece and make it interesting. At least I've given a reason to justify the comparison, whereas you have your attributions confused.
Play:
Say: Doe can apparently post his bait about anyone.
Play:
Say: What alleged pontification of mine?
Play:
Say: The other two what?
Play:
Say: We did "Peter and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to gauge the number of musicians on the head lessons.
Play:
Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there is no music theory in this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you call it "talking down"?
Play:
Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!
Play:
Say: Yet another pontification that it is the "right" length. However, as I expected.
Play:
Say: Substantiation was not provided below.
Play:
Say: What for you would run away without answering the question.
Play: