Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: "That many violins."

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I said, hasn't been posting "far more relevant" responses in it.

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: How did I say that?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from within.

Play:

Say: Undoing the damage you've done nothing to do so.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" the way John Doe decides that it's too long.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: Yes you did; look at the newsgroups line.

Play:

Say: So why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: "Your" thread?

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a composer or not?

Play:

Say: Which part of my responses in it.

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: Which part of my responses in it.

Play:

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do that, because I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: It figures that you are mistaken, and you turned on me..."

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did offer the opinion that the my discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: How did I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: How did I say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the term "symphony", there is some fantastic music for that evidence.

Play:

Say: What kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: Repetition of a concerto for orchestra.

Play: