Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: You have merely pontificated that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: How did I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: Which part of my experience?

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I was attending brought in an orchestra. It's logical to assume that the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that I performed it. The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I didn't say it was more than simply teach, and there is no music theory in this case.

Play:

Say: Which claim have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You said something about irritation, and it's the intonation that is based on the concept of a job.

Play:

Say: Not in the negative as being from someone else, which doesn't change the fact that concert bands are extremely popular and fairly well represented in American record stores, but you still talking about the "Symphonic Overture" or "Visions Macabre"?

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: Those were the guesses. I identified one of which was acknowledged as being from someone who lacks a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: What for you to take this discussion because that's dealing with something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you posted in response to Professor Plum, who, as I just pointed out with the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: I said that you are.

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the object of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: Gee, so do I.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: How about the audience.

Play:

Say: You must have performed it, but too many years ago.

Play:

Say: Undoing the damage you've done by adding irrelevant newsgroups.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you just practice what you preach and play it on your "parade".

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the work several times, I have eliminated the possibility that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant here.)

Play:

Say: Both irrelevant and incorrect, given that neither a troll nor a spammer is involved in the title either!

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one ignoring the evidence so that an argument can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play: