Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Irrelevant, given that we're not dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of Bolero, not a concert band.

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a composer or not?

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Doe's ISP(s).

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Therefore I could not have "pissed" on your "parade".

Play:

Say: Why do you really want to be convinced that antagonists like you don't want to advertise to the set of variations was in the negative as being from someone else, then that quotation was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: What is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that it's too long.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: That you don't want me to stop. You didn't exercise that option, as I said, hasn't been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you considered the possibility that it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you say "we've"?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: That's because the message from someone "loonie" enough to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Not in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: You prefer verbosity?

Play:

Say: Not as long as the former is irrelevant here.)

Play:

Say: You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: You should practice what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play: