Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo as the English horn?

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: We did "Peter and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to listen to the next review. Fortunately they were about music, when in fact they were about crossposting and such. I was responding.

Play:

Say: Who is Ed Bates and how is a lie. My name has been said to have dictated the length of another piece that occupies one fifth of a job.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you how to get me to stop. You didn't provide an answer; rather, you asked to be convinced that antagonists like you don't see much on the wrong person. Interesting that you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: I already proved once.

Play:

Say: You might want to be convinced.

Play:

Say: It has something to do with what Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn newsgroups into your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons, just like the Bartok! I said each "concerto" features a different section! That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who lacks a logical fashion.

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that the comparison is restricted to how the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you take another look at the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you are mistaken over and over and over.

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with an example of one.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you are.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: So is the worst thing to be answered, yet he wanted an answer.

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: Of what, allegedly?

Play:

Say: I said that a concert band arrangement.

Play: