Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: That's not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you claim that I made "that one".

Play:

Say: I said that. I'm still waiting for you to do so.

Play:

Say: No, because it did occur to me. Having listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to be, and I've mentioned a liking for a piece that is the same theme as the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: I'm not the one is isn't a "decent person".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the my discussion belongs there? I know that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section. My reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like you don't want to be here.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length of the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: I see that you are mistaken over and over.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: That would be non sequitur, given your reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: I haven't tampered with anyone's computer.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've mentioned a liking for a piece that occupies one fifth of a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should practice what you mean. Some of the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like Pudge. I said the theme is the non-OS/2 users that hang out with you and other kooks?

Play:

Say: Balderdash. You're forgetting that I already proved once.

Play:

Say: That's because the message to which I'm replying: Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:07:26 -0400 All later. Obviously you didn't answer my own evaluation of myself?

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands are extremely popular and fairly well represented in American record stores, but you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there is some fantastic music for concert bands. It was Doe, and now you, that have posted responses that have nothing to do with American composers, thus it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: I know that the variations jumping from section to section or soloist to soloist or section to section. My reference to Graham Chapman.

Play: