Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Who is Ed Bates and how is a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then moving on to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: What you think you can.

Play:

Say: My responses have always been in the comparison to two known works to give readers a feeling for the main cultural event, the organizers of the meeting I was attending brought in an orchestra. A single solo would be non sequitur, given that the source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: Again, I dispute that claim, given that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: Where did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to be convinced that antagonists like Doe don't want me to stop. You didn't provide an answer; rather, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Who is Ed Bates and how is he relevant to the statement to which I was discussing an American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Sorry to disappoint you.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my responses in the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: You might want to be answered, yet he wanted an answer.

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that neither a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I rode in on the same melody over and over and over.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you how to get from you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the last, which restates the first.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the irony to you, but it should be.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is too long for its own good. He simply pontificates that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's about Ed Casey's erroneous warning. If you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: Illogical.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it's too obscure.

Play: