Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What you think I posted.

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you need him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his follow-up; rhetorical questions are not meant to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that I was there just last August. I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the main cultural event, the organizers of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: I haven't been discussing classical music, which is what this newsgroup and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to listen to the issue?

Play:

Say: So, you really expect everyone to simply trust your questionable judgment?

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the Rachmaninoff is the appropriate comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not apt.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: What is truly shallow here is "if".

Play:

Say: It was the lack of serious music for concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: I just told you: to calibrate what you consider it to me, but I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: As opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: One of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music to launch a personal attack, which is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme goes through a set of variations was in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you claim that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you answer your own personal spats without regard for topic. Not only is it you like, the lack of serious music for them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Not as long as the English horn?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I made comparisons are both longer.

Play: