The Troll Variations
for a soloist
by
Tom Duff
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Instructions

This piece is for a soloist playing any instrument.

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with an example of one.

Play:




Say: Okay, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:




Say: On the contrary, you asked a question.

Play:


Say: Just more trolling on your part.

Play:


Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:


Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:


Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:


Say: I suggest that people aim their fire extinguisher at the base of the parenthetical remark.

Play:




Say: That's your problem.

Play:


Say: John Doe did.

Play:


Say: Evidence, please. Where have you been?

Play:


Say: No, he isn't. Is that how you intend to explain how your remark is allegedly clear about someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music to launch a personal attack, which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:






Say: Do you consider the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:


Say: Enlightenment comes from within.

Play:


Say: That is a lie. My name has been that the average non-professional wind musician has better intonation than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:




Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the absence of any substantiation from you.

Play:




Say: What is truly shallow here is "if".

Play:


Say: Which part of my experience?

Play:


Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:


Say: Illogical, given that you think they'll stand for.

Play:


Say: Both irrelevant and incorrect, given that I was replying was crossposted to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the issue that Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn a page. Also note that the Bartok is much longer than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:












Say: Missed too much of it during the rest of the recent transcriptions I've listened to the Rachmaninoff is the "Fantasy Variations" to be "masterworks".)

Play:






Say: I see that you are a more recent development. Note that a concert band.

Play:




Say: Is that how you ignored the evidence so that an argument can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:




Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:




Say: On the contrary, it was John Doe did.

Play:


Say: Actually, nobody has been about American composers, thus it is too long?

Play:




Say: Sort of like how you ignored the evidence that you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:




Say: Check out the "too long" excuse, given that I've been posting "far more relevant" responses in it.

Play:




Say: Never say never.

Play: