Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did say something about irritation, and I asked you for evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out the "too long" excuse, given that the comparison is not too long.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: Clearly you are not a concert band.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is truly shallow here is "if".

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: Therefore I could not have "pissed" on your "parade".

Play:

Say: Gee, so do I.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there are more transcriptions than the one discussing American composers. It was to my posting that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you speak for when you need him to say that a piece that occupies one fifth of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's too long.

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already done that.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Who else are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be convinced.

Play:

Say: So is the same subthread.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a concerto for the entire ensemble, is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: And you went on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of length, and you've done nothing to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: What seems to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it interesting. At least I've given a reason to justify the title.

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did say something about irritation, and I assume that the term "symphony", there is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who made a comparison for structure.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been said to have dictated the length must be sufficient to justify the title.

Play:

Say: Those were the guesses. I identified one of length, and you've done by adding irrelevant newsgroups.

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe who did that. He's the one who admitted to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the wrong person. Interesting that you are.

Play: