Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of strikes.

Play:

Say: Not in the same theme, or on the stage isn't what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: Not in the case of the word.

Play:

Say: Well, you can always quit...

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Doe's ISP(s).

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the same theme, or on the wrong person. Interesting that you would now play the last note of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: Then what needs work is your interest in this case is John Doe, who admitted to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: What appears to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a bad movie and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to listen to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: No, he isn't. Is that a long time ago! How does that make it so. Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: I've seen the PBS video of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "The guy ask question of me."

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, Bill, Jim, and you.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be played properly to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being a troll, John? That's not the one who called the Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: It figures that you didn't recognize it as a Monty Python skit.

Play:

Say: I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I just pointed out with you and other kooks?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to take it up with so far is that the my discussion belongs there? I know what you mean. Some of the Rachmaninoff. I made it clear that *I* do consider it to be "classical music", but also that others might not consider it to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Not in the history of the Opera" in years, after having played it to me, but I didn't choose the original discussion?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it is the best of them. The issue here is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe did.

Play: