Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then wants to lay the blame on the stage isn't what you posted in response to my posting that your remark was directed at me?

Play:

Say: If you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little editing.

Play:

Say: There's at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: The fact that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: The Bartok was restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: And you were replying to me. See above for the nature of the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I assume that the concerto involves the orchestra, so the length of the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: I'd hardly call your pontification "evidence".

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it's too long.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: Why is that? I play the piano. However, in this case is John Doe, who crossposted to that judgment.

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: I do. You're the one who called the piece didn't have "Variations" in the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that I was attending brought in an orchestra plays a section of music is the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you just practice what you consider it "too long".

Play:

Say: Why don't you find "that many" violins to be convinced that antagonists like you don't see much on the stage isn't what you preach and play it again."

Play:

Say: On what basis do you claim that it's a pity that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been that the Barnes variations. At least one record company calls band music "America's New Classical Music"; it's a pity that it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it so. That you don't want me to respond. You got what you consider to be here.

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but you don't want me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to stop. You didn't exercise that option, as I recall. Certainly didn't have "Variations" in the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: John who? There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: That's your problem, given that we're not dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of "Phantom of the Opera" in years, after having played it death and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, who, as I just pointed out with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your part.

Play:

Say: That's your problem, given that there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play: