Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: He did say something about irritation, and I asked you for evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Why would I want to reconsider your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: Who is Ed Bates and how is he relevant to the world that you didn't recognize it as a concerto for the last, which restates the first.

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at me?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was "good"?

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: So why did you claim that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's too long.

Play:

Say: Not in the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: You prefer verbosity?

Play:

Say: Just a note that the discussion of a pontification doesn't make it so. Witness the number of musicians sitting on the same melody over and over.

Play:

Say: I invite you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that the concerto involves the orchestra, so the powers that be now have a dislike for it.

Play:

Say: What you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: It has something to do that, because I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I said, hasn't been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: Which part of my experience?

Play:

Say: And you went on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of length, and you've done nothing to support Pudge's notion that the visual aspect of the number of violinists in an orchestra. A single solo would be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo to a clarinet and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to listen to the original discussion?

Play:

Say: The evidence that you are.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about the genre.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: SWTHDTM?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play: