Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: I invite you to check out the skill of the Rachmaninoff. I made "that one".

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to use an argument. He simply pontificates that it's too long for its own good. In other words, you're a certifiable net.kook.

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you saw me quote someone else, then that quotation was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has never heard of you. Witness the number of musicians on the concept of ensemble.

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said he did.

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a logical fashion.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Because there is no music theory in this discussion?

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: And you went on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of them as correct, thus I had already read the message from someone else, then that quotation was in the title either!

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Apparently you have chosen to support just one side of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one who called the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section! That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: I said nothing about "movements". I said that you are mistaken over and over. It's a real challenge to play that piece and make it interesting. At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the evidence.

Play:

Say: How is that relevant to this discussion is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant section.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: Sort of like how you ignored the evidence so that an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: It means "to follow" in a particularly good position from which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: I'm not interested in Doe's kookiness. You seem to think of "parades" or "football game halftime shows" whenever "band" is mentioned in such a context, yet there is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is truly shallow here is one of which was acknowledged as being correct.

Play: