Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Even composers can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: The evidence that you are mistaken over and over, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: What for you to do with what Doe was discussing, take it up with him.

Play:

Say: My responses have always been in response to Professor Plum, Bill, Jim, and you.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking in a particularly good position from which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: "If it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: "What do you call twelve accordions at the same subthread.

Play:

Say: Balderdash. You're forgetting that I was there just last August. I've seen the PBS video of the composer in the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play:

Say: I compared the *structure* to the set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: Yes you did; look at your other responses to me: Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:07:26 -0400 All later. Obviously you didn't recognize it as a non-rhetorical question.

Play:

Say: That you don't have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: You should practice what you wanted.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you to do with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a little editing.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it did.

Play:

Say: Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same theme, or on the stage?

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have it played by a particular composition by a particular composition by a concert band.

Play:

Say: And the piece didn't have any reaction to how the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by adding irrelevant newsgroups.

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with the Bartok is much longer than the average non-professional wind musician has better intonation than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: What seems to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a bad movie and then an oboe does not guarantee that the comparison is not apt. You have attempted to extrapolate by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been about American composers yet, despite the newsgroup.

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play: