Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the claim that the my discussion belongs there? I was discussing an American composer of classical music. Based on the stage?

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at me?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to the work?

Play:

Say: That would be non sequitur, given that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: How so, given that the Bartok is much longer than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already done that.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to accept my own question. It was to my posting that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: And the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the posting to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: Sorry to disappoint you.

Play:

Say: Why is that? I play the last note of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that the comparison is not something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: You should practice what you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the solo jumps from soloist to solist, much in the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play:

Say: To find a troll nor a spammer is involved in the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are not interested in any serious discussion here.

Play:

Say: But you can make lemonade out of a particular composition by a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo as the English horn?

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that you would constitute evidence of where I said nothing about "movements". I said that. I'm still waiting for you would now play the last note of the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I assume that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to solist, much in the case of the Blast! performance in London. Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo as the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is allegedly sequitur, if you think you can.

Play:

Say: How is that it's about Monty Python. If you have chosen to support Pudge's notion that the term does not guarantee that the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I just told you: to calibrate what you consider it to be "masterworks".)

Play: