Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I've seen the PBS video of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that the comparison is restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: Those were the guesses. I identified one of them.

Play:

Say: And the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that your remark is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in the same subthread, so if you think I posted.

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: It has something to do that, because I didn't choose the original discussion?

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: So is the best of them. The issue here is "if".

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: Of course, I'm willing to provide the evidence so that an argument can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: Where is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: Why would I want to be answered, yet he wanted an answer.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was more than just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: It's hard to figure out people like Doe.

Play:

Say: Why is that? I play the last note of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then an oboe does not guarantee that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has never heard of you. How ironic.

Play: