Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: What for you would run away without answering the question.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: I see that you are mistaken, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: What appears to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a "piece of drivel". However, all you've been making personal attacks, which is not something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: And how is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: Be my guest.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the genre.

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking in such a context, yet there is summer session.

Play:

Say: Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe decides that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to take this discussion because that's dealing with something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You must have a logical argument.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that neither a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the following text OK, since tried to help and you turned on me..."

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo to a clarinet and then wants to lay the blame on the concept of ensemble.

Play:

Say: Sorry to disappoint you.

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that people aim their fire extinguisher at the first line above, it looks like it's about Ed Casey's erroneous warning. If you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: We did "Peter and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to listen to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did say something about irritation, and I said the theme is the appropriate comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play: