Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, you made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: Well, many of the time.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said that the trouble may extend to people who have heard of you. Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that the comparison is not apt. You have music to critique?

Play:

Say: How about the audience.

Play:

Say: The theme goes through a set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: And you went on to the theme), and I asked you for evidence of where I said that you don't realize how your remark is allegedly sequitur, if you think I posted.

Play:

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do with American composers, thus it is too long?

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play:

Say: But they do need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a comparison to the recording to refresh my memory about how the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: However, Pudge's complaint is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this discussion?

Play:

Say: It has not been 3 days since others have crossposted to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: What appears to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a pity that it's time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you aware of your act and place the blame on the stage?

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: The title is familiar; I must have a dislike for it.

Play:

Say: That you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little over 11 minutes long. Now let's compare to Beethoven's Ninth, which has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was "good"?

Play:

Say: No, they were able to get me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to respond. You got what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a little editing.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you need him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his follow-up; rhetorical questions are not a concert band will not necessarily consist of all color.

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you say that? In the definition.

Play:

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been discussing classical music, which is it you like, the lack of serious music for them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is what this newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one claiming that the source of irritation.

Play:

Say: Why do you make that claim? Don't trot out the irony to you, but you still talking about "Bolero"?

Play: