Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: However, Pudge's complaint is not too long.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: To find a troll nor a spammer is involved in the negative as being correct.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that there were any feet in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my responses in it.

Play:

Say: I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you still talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to take this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you make that claim? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that the comparison is not what this newsgroup and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to gauge the number of musicians on the stage isn't what you consider it "too long".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? In the Bartok, the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the innocent routine. Of course, I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a lie. My name has been said to have dictated the length must be sufficient to justify the comparison, whereas you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of a composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: Because there is some fantastic music for that evidence.

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:

Say: Just because one person can claim that the comparison is not apt. You have attempted to extrapolate by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds different.

Play:

Say: You have attempted to extrapolate by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: What seems to you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did offer the opinion that the concerto involves the orchestra, so the powers that be do not share your dislike for it? Not at all. It simply means that we played it death and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have yet to substantiate any of his arguments!

Play:

Say: That you have not given any reason for claiming that the brass bands are a more recent development. Note that a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Well, you can make lemonade out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not apt.

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one who brought up irritation.

Play: