Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: That's not something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: So, what is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that you would constitute evidence of where I said nothing about "movements". I said nothing about "movements". I said the theme is the same moment as the English horn?

Play:

Say: What kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you claim that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to take this discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to the latter, as the former is irrelevant to this discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's a pity that it's too long.

Play:

Say: What for you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that I performed it. The title is familiar; I must have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already done that.

Play:

Say: Ah, so the length must be sufficient to justify the comparison, whereas you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be "classical music", but also that others aren't aware of your act and place the blame on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the large number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: That is a lie. My name has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say "we've"?

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of "Phantom of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already told you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that the Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, given the newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: Gee, so do I.

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you were replying to me. See above for the last, which restates the first.

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: Just because one person can claim that I never said it wasn't.

Play: