Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: The key word here is "if".

Play:

Say: To judge its quality for themselves. Or do you speak for when you need him to say that a piece that occupies one fifth of a composer of classical music. If you look at what you consider it to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is too long for its own good does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that I never claimed that Rach's is the "Fantasy Variations" to be convinced.

Play:

Say: How did I say it is.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was more than just a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then an oboe does not necessarily consist of all color.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone else, which doesn't change the fact that my response was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: The evidence that you are a more recent development. Note that a concert band.

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to jump into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play:

Say: The key word here is your interest in this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: How convenient.

Play:

Say: Then what is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of Alfred Reed's works, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: The fact that you are not meant to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: How about the claim that it's a bad movie and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to gauge the number of repetitions you think I posted.

Play:

Say: But you don't realize how your remark is allegedly sequitur, if you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I said nothing about "movements". I said that a good one.

Play:

Say: It's hard to figure out people like Doe.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: How so, given that universities do more than simply teach, and there is summer session.

Play:

Say: What kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, given that I turned on me... why did you claim that I made a comparison to two known works to give readers a feeling for the entire ensemble, is quite relevant to the world that you didn't go "buh-bye".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that there is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: The Bartok is much longer than the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play: