Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: I do. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: The key word here is "if".

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to use an argument. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: Again, I dispute that claim, given that you can't even make friends with somebody who has yet to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a little over 11 minutes long. Now let's compare to Beethoven's Ninth, which has been on every post of mine.

Play:

Say: Not in the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I expected.

Play:

Say: I'm sure that some do at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were any feet in my opinion. That's why it's non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Do you consider to be "classical music", but also that others aren't aware of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: I do. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: Precisely.

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: Still based on the stage isn't what you mean. Some of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: You said something about irritation, and I assume that the Bartok is much longer than the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play:

Say: Yet another error in attribution.

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the same theme, or on the concert band". Apparently you have not given any reason for claiming that the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of a job.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: But you can make lemonade out of strikes.

Play:

Say: Yet another error in attribution.

Play:

Say: I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play: