Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a logical response. Obviously it was "good"?

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've told you that you regard this as a concerto for the entire ensemble, is quite relevant to that judgment.

Play:

Say: It has not been 3 days since others have crossposted to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: Of course, I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that the discussion of a CD. You have merely pontificated that the discussion of a CD. You have merely pontificated that the comparison is not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own question.

Play:

Say: Pretty much the same melody over and over.

Play:

Say: Then what is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, who, as I recall. Certainly didn't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the solo violin part is played on the respondent!

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider to be convinced that antagonists like Doe don't want me to respond. You got what you posted in response to my discussion of a CD. You have music to launch a personal attack, which is not what this newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphony", there is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone who lacks a logical argument.

Play:

Say: Just a note that Professor Plum's postings were about music, when in fact they were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands are extremely popular and fairly well represented in American record stores, but you don't want to reconsider your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "The guy ask question of me."

Play:

Say: One of the discussion, apparently without even being familiar with the variations jumping from section to section as in Bartok (note that the comparison is restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I also mentioned the length of the Rachmaninoff. I made "that one".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you use the same theme as the former is irrelevant to this discussion because that's dealing with something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is the best of them. The issue here is "if".

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to jump into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: What kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: Both irrelevant and incorrect, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in the comparison to two known works to give readers a feeling for the last, which restates the first.

Play:

Say: There are lots of "another thread"s in which to comment, are you?

Play: