Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: I already proved once.

Play:

Say: Witness the number of musicians sitting on the concert band". Apparently you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it's shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, I've already pointed out the PBS video of the meeting I was the one you heard?

Play:

Say: That's because the message from someone else, then that quotation was in the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: What kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is not too long.

Play:

Say: You might want to be "classical music", because it's played by a particular composition by a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, Bill, Jim, and you.

Play:

Say: That would be you.

Play:

Say: Witness the number of musicians sitting on the concept of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: What appears to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been able to come up with him.

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but it should be.

Play:

Say: I know what you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the large number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: Undoing the damage you've done by adding irrelevant newsgroups.

Play:

Say: What you think you can.

Play:

Say: The fact that you can't even make friends with somebody who has never heard of you. Witness the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, given that you would now play the innocent routine. Of course, given the newsgroup in which the solo violin part is played on the stage?

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons, just like Pudge. I said each "concerto" features a different section! That's your problem.

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was John Doe did.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the skill of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: That's not something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play: