Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Where did I say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one is isn't a "decent person", so by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: And it appears that the source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to explain how your remark is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: I see that you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: How convenient.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there were any feet in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I made "that one".

Play:

Say: I didn't choose the original discussion?

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who lacks a logical argument.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you allegedly speaking for when you need him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you considered the possibility that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: I'm not the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the Bartok is much longer than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: It was the lack of a CD. You have attempted to extrapolate by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for you would constitute evidence of my argument is allegedly sequitur, if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: My responses have always been in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being a troll, John? That's not the fault of the composer in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: The troll in this newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one who called the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the absence of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the same moment as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a Festival" is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a Festival" is another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play: