The Troll Variations
for a soloist
by
Tom Duff
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Instructions

This piece is for a soloist playing any instrument.

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I haven't suggested that everyone here listen.

Play:


Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:


Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:




Say: The other two what?

Play:


Say: What alleged "parade"? I haven't been discussing the issue that I didn't write that.

Play:




Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in such a context, yet there is no such composition.

Play:




Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:


Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:


Say: Non sequitur.

Play:


Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I just pointed out with the term "symphony", there is no such composition.

Play:




Say: On the contrary, you're the one discussing music.

Play:


Say: Do you consider to be "tough going"?

Play:


Say: Which claim have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:


Say: No claim will obviate the fact that you "had no idea"...

Play:


Say: Irrelevant, given that you "had no idea"...

Play:


Say: What good would that do? I've told you to take it up with Doe.

Play:


Say: Where did I say that?

Play:


Say: Is that how you intend to explain how your remark is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:




Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I never said it wasn't.

Play:


Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my opinion. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to be, and I've told you that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such. I was responding.

Play:








Say: On the contrary, you asked to be convinced that antagonists like Doe don't want me to respond. You got what you posted in response to my discussion of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:






Say: I see that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such.

Play:




Say: I invite you to take this discussion is occurring.

Play:


Say: Doe cannot win an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:




Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at me?

Play:


Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you turned on me..."

Play:


Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:


Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do with what you're talking about.

Play:




Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has yet to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:






Say: That's because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your "parade".

Play: