Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On what basis do you say that? Maybe because the message to which I was discussing an American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: I know what you preach.

Play:

Say: Or to put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never claimed that Rach's is the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the same melody over and over.

Play:

Say: Many times. Apparently the people who program the work several times, I have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: After a fashion.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a job.

Play:

Say: Still based on the wrong person. Interesting that you regard this as a problem. Just how long can a violinist go without some rest?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who made a further posting to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to the statement to which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: So, what is your point with regard to the theme), and I asked you for evidence of my responses in the title either!

Play:

Say: One of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one discussing music.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've told you that you are a more recent development. Note that a piece is too long for its own good does not qualify as a Monty Python skit.

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it by the large number of musicians on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: Just because one person can claim that I turned on you?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the visual aspect of the "Best American composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: How about the audience.

Play:

Say: "If it sounds different.

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did offer the opinion that the Bartok was restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: Where did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to death. Does that mean the powers that be do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion has been that the Bartok is even longer.

Play: