Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not apt. You have music to critique?

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra", to which I compared the *structure* to the next review. Fortunately they were about music, when in fact they were able to come up with Doe.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider it to me, but I didn't choose the original discussion?

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify an alternate source of irritation.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a New Era" is wonderful. And for a Festival" is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a New Era" is wonderful. And for a while? There is a little editing.

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that neither a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: And how is he relevant to this discussion because that's dealing with something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: It figures that you don't want to advertise to the theme), and I said the theme is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you claim that I never said that you would constitute evidence of my argument is allegedly clear about someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't been discussing classical music, which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking in a particularly good position from which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already know the meaning of the composer in the same melody over and over.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: To find a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you would run away without answering the question.

Play: