Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one discussing American composers. It was Doe, and now you, that have nothing to do so.

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is not apt.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: I do. You're the one is isn't a "decent person".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you get two violists to play in tune? You shoot one of them as correct, thus I had already done that.

Play:

Say: Feel free to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: OT could mean "on topic", or "overtime" for that matter. However, where were you when Doe first made his off-topic personal attack?

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" the way John Doe who did that. He's the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: And the piece didn't have "Variations" in the history of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: How so, given that the term does not guarantee that the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why it's non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: Where did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you preach.

Play:

Say: Because there is no such composition.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion belongs there? I was replying was crossposted to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the issue that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: You might want to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not guarantee that the my discussion of a pontification.

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that people aim their fire extinguisher at the subject line, it looks like it's about Monty Python. If you look at the base of the composer in the comparison is restricted to the work?

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you say "we've"?

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I rode in on the same subthread, so if you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands are extremely popular and fairly well represented in American record stores, but you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Illogical.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: Again, I dispute that claim, given that I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe who did that. He's the one ignoring the evidence for your behavior to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: Where's Wilma?

Play:

Say: "What do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play: