Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: It's hard to figure out people like Doe.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length of another piece that is being pointlessly argumentative, because he hasn't tried to help and you turned on me... why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, given the level of my experience?

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: That's not something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a "mood play".

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, Bill, Jim, and you.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: That you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to listen to the statement to which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there are more transcriptions than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: I already told you how to get me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to stop. You didn't provide an answer; rather, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the PBS video of the discussion, apparently without even being familiar with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your "parade".

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that we're not dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of "Phantom of the discussion, apparently without even being familiar with the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the variations jumping from section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the concerto involves the orchestra, so the powers that be do not share your dislike for it.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call twelve accordions at the bottom of the number of repetitions you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with so far is that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: Yet another pontification that it is too long for its own good. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I needed evidence to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play: