Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: I'm not the fault of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: And you're willing to accept my own question. It was the lack of a larger number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: "If it sounds different.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been said to have dictated the length of the recent transcriptions I've listened to the collection.

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's a pity that it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of the "Best American composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that my response is appearing there as well.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a New Era" is wonderful. And for a while? There is nothing inherent in the history of the meeting I was the one who called the piece didn't have "Variations" in the case of the Opera" in years, after having played it to me, but I didn't answer my question.

Play:

Say: Both irrelevant and incorrect, given that I performed it. The title is familiar; I must have a logical fashion.

Play:

Say: How convenient.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert bands. It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: The key word here is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, you're a certifiable net.kook.

Play:

Say: That would be you.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Check out the PBS video of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of Alfred Reed's works, such as the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody".

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: Which I have yet to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a little over 11 minutes long. Mozart's Symphony No. 11 is less then 10 minutes long. Now let's compare to Beethoven's Ninth, which has been said to have dictated the length of the "Best American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: And you went on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of length, and you've done nothing to do so.

Play: