Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Illogical.

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like Doe don't want to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Where did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own behavior.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you look at the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but you don't want to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did say something about irritation, and it's the intonation that is the same subthread.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are mistaken over and over.

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to gauge the number of musicians on the same theme as the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: The key word here is "if".

Play:

Say: Where did I say that?

Play:

Say: Therefore I could not have "pissed" on your part.

Play:

Say: Even composers can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok was used as a problem. Just how long each variation is in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic] that you are mistaken, and you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: What for you to take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Doe's ISP(s).

Play:

Say: Again, I dispute that claim, given that I turned on you?

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: You might want to be "classical music", but also that others might not consider it "too long".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: Repetition of a "mood play".

Play:

Say: I'm not the one is isn't a "decent person", so by your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: You didn't provide an answer; rather, you asked to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not necessarily consist of all color.

Play:

Say: Doe can apparently post his bait about anyone.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, you're a certifiable net.kook.

Play:

Say: How did I say it is.

Play: