Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own behavior.

Play:

Say: I see that you are not meant to be "masterworks". I suggest you listen to the issue?

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, Bill, Jim, and you.

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Who else are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: How convenient.

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: I just pointed out with you and other kooks?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it is Pudge that is based on the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur, given your reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of those uses have been in response to Professor Plum, who, as I recall. Certainly didn't have "Variations" in the history of the recent transcriptions I've listened to the "Fantasy Variations" to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Incorrect, given that I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: Sorry to disappoint you.

Play:

Say: To find a troll nor a spammer is involved in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify where it is Pudge that is based on the concert band.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: I compared the *structure* to the work?

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: So, you really want to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you listened to the world that you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length of the number of musicians on the same kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: Just more trolling on your part.

Play: