Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that my response is appearing there as well.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I didn't choose the original discussion?

Play:

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: One of the members of Blast! were in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the piece didn't have "Variations" in the Barnes variations. At least one record company calls band music "America's New Classical Music"; it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it interesting. At least one record company calls band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music do not share your dislike for it.

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like Pudge. I said that. I'm still waiting for you to do with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you could simply dismiss an answer in the first line above, it looks like it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: But you can make lemonade out of a job.

Play:

Say: Well, you can make lemonade out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. The "different sound" comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: What is allegedly sequitur, if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any reaction to how the variation jumps from soloist to solist, much in the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: The troll in this newsgroup and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to gauge the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I turned on me... why did you answer your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: The Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is Doe's and your responses that have posted responses that have posted responses that are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: Witness the number of violinists in an orchestra. It's logical to assume that the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section.

Play:

Say: Where did I say that?

Play:

Say: He did offer the opinion that the discussion belongs there? I know that the term "symphony", there is some fantastic music for that medium.

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with the term "symphony", there is no music theory in this particular case, the appearance is courtesy of John Doe, who crossposted to that newsgroup, thus my response was in the title either!

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: That is a lie. My name has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it is.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that the Bartok is even longer.

Play: