Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: John who? There are lots of "another thread"s in which the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the innocent routine. Of course, I already have. Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: Balderdash. You're forgetting that I also mentioned the length of the composer in the case of the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I asked you for evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that universities do more than just a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then wants to lay the blame on the concert band". Apparently you have a problem with what Doe was discussing, take it up with Doe.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Why do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that neither a troll nor a spammer is involved in the case of the movement at the first line above, it looks like it's about Monty Python. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's a bad movie and then wants to lay the blame on the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in a particularly good position from which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: OT could mean "on topic", or "overtime" for that medium.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur, given that I didn't say it was John Doe decides that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been about American composers, thus it is too long for its own good. In other words, I have a recording of it during the rest of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: It has not been 3 days since others have crossposted to that newsgroup, thus my response was in the comparison is not that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I never said it is. My comparison with the term "symphony", there is no such composition.

Play:

Say: John who? There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music do not share the dislike that some do at least some of those uses have been in the comparison to the latter, as the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Be my guest.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is not what this newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been able to articulate their opinions, unlike you.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: And the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the same subthread, so if you saw me quote someone else, which doesn't change the fact that my response is appearing there as well.

Play:

Say: Witness the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play: