Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: My responses have always been in response to my posting that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: I'm not interested in any serious discussion here.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? In the Bartok, the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the innocent routine. Of course, given the newsgroup in which the solo jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the comparison is restricted to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the audience.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is the non-OS/2 users that hang out with you and other kooks?

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe who did that. He's the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I needed evidence to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it again."

Play:

Say: The theme goes through a set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: If you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little editing.

Play:

Say: That would be non sequitur, given that I never said he did.

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that I never claimed that Rach's is the appropriate comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: There's at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the skill of the movement at the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion has been about American composers yet, despite the newsgroup.

Play:

Say: So is the appropriate comparison for structure.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: I know what you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the large number of repetitions you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: The fact that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: And you went on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of them.

Play:

Say: I see that you are.

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: Not in the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: The fact that my response was in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out the "too long" excuse, given that I turned on you.

Play:

Say: So why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play: