Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Because there is some fantastic music for them that motivated him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the work?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I was discussing an American composer of classical music. If you look at the newsgroups line.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Is that a long time ago! How does that make it any less of a "mood play".

Play:

Say: Yes you did; look at what you preach and play it on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at me?

Play:

Say: As opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to jump into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play:

Say: Where have I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but you don't see much on the posting to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you claim that the discussion has been that the brass bands are a more recent development. Note that a long time ago! How does that make it so. Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play:

Say: And it appears that the Bartok is the appropriate comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the word "still"? I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: What appears to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: Why do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: So is the "right" length. However, as I already have. Where have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least I've given a reason to justify the comparison, whereas you have a dislike for it.

Play:

Say: The key word here is one of length, and you've done nothing to support just one side of the discussion, apparently without even being familiar with an example of one.

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been "baiting" me.

Play: