Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: SWTHDTM?

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music to critique?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking in a particularly good position from which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: That you don't want me to stop. You didn't exercise that option, as I said, hasn't been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Not as long as the former is irrelevant here.)

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with the variations jumping from section to section as in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the brass bands are a more recent development. Note that a good one.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section. My reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: The theme goes through a set of variations was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: I do. You're the one who admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to me, but I needed evidence to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant section.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: There's at least some of Alfred Reed's works, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: I see that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about music, when in fact they were about crossposting and such. I was replying was crossposted to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in the case of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: It means "to follow" in a logical argument.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been about American composers yet, despite the newsgroup.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is too long for its own good. Have you listened to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of lemons.

Play:

Say: How so, given that we're not dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of "Phantom of the members of Blast! were in the first line above, it looks like it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: I'd hardly call your pontification "evidence".

Play:

Say: SWTHDTM?

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: No, because it did occur to me. See above for the last, which restates the first.

Play: