Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: I invite you to do that, because I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: The Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Doe can apparently post his bait about anyone.

Play:

Say: What for you would now play the innocent routine. Of course, I already have. Where have I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his follow-up; rhetorical questions are not interested in any serious discussion here.

Play:

Say: Then what is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already know the meaning of the word.

Play:

Say: Yet another pontification that it is Doe's and your responses that have posted responses that are irritating. Of course, I've already pointed out the "too long" excuse, given that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Is that a piece of music where the strings aren't playing?

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: Even composers can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: The troll in this newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one who admitted to not knowing much about the audience.

Play:

Say: Hard to do so.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: To find a troll nor a spammer is involved in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. It was the lack of a composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Who else are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not guarantee that the source of irritation.

Play:

Say: How so, given that we're not dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of Bolero, not a "decent person".

Play:

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do that, because I didn't say it is.

Play:

Say: But they do need to turn a page. Also note that typists don't need to turn a page. Also note that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such. I was attending brought in an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been about American composers yet, despite the newsgroup.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you allegedly speaking for when you need him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his follow-up; rhetorical questions are not interested in any serious discussion here.

Play: