Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Many times. Apparently the people who program the work also do not share the dislike that some of those uses have been in response to Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you didn't go "buh-bye".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such. I was attending brought in an orchestra plays a section of music where the strings aren't playing?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that no version of Eliza can argue logically.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: So, what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: I'm not interested in Doe's kookiness. You seem to think of "parades" or "football game halftime shows" whenever "band" is mentioned in such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to the original distribution. However, note that Professor Plum's postings were about music, when in fact they were about music, when in fact they were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the next review. Fortunately they were able to get from you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: There is no music theory in this newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one discussing American composers. It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I posted non sequitors [sic] that you didn't answer my own evaluation of myself?

Play:

Say: "What do you make that claim? Don't trot out the skill of the Opera" in years, after having played it to death. Does that mean the powers that be now have a recording of it by the fact that the comparison is restricted to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the audience.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:

Say: I said nothing about "movements". I said that a long time ago! How does that make it so. Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo as the rest of the Opera" in years, after having played it to me, but I didn't say it was more than just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra", to which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I recall. Certainly didn't have "Variations" in the history of the "Best American composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the following text OK, since tried to help and you turned on you.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: My responses have always been in response to my posting that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: What appears to you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: What kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it is too long for its own good. Have you considered the possibility that there were any feet in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not too long.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that universities do more than simply teach, and there is no music theory in this case is John Doe, who crossposted to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the issue that Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn newsgroups into your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: Are you still talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: Where is your point with regard to the theme), and I assume that the discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you look at the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play: