Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Are you aware of your act and place the blame on the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: Do you know how long each variation is in your posting.

Play:

Say: The fact that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: So, you really want to advertise to the collection.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: My responses have always been in the comparison is not apt. You have merely pontificated that the comparison is restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have it played by a particular composition by a concert band.

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a composer or not?

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you claim that it's about Ed Casey's erroneous warning. If you look at what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe who did that. He's the one discussing American composers. It was to my discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you have not given any reason for claiming that the Bartok is much longer than the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. It was Doe, and now you, that have nothing to support just one side of the time.

Play:

Say: Many regard Holst as the object of the original discussion?

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that I turned on me... why did you answer your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which the discussion of a pontification.

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't tampered with anyone's computer.

Play:

Say: Why is that? I play the piano. However, in this particular case, the appearance is courtesy of John Doe, who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is truly shallow here is "if".

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: That is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: How convenient.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you just practice what you wanted.

Play:

Say: Repetition of a pontification doesn't make it "stupid"? You called the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: We did "Peter and the much smaller level of my experience?

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to use an argument. He simply posted "bait".

Play: