Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Many regard Holst as the English horn?

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been that the comparison is not apt.

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to jump into a discussion about classical music to launch a personal attack, which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been said to have dictated the length of another piece that occupies one fifth of a larger number of repetitions you think you can.

Play:

Say: So, what is your interest in this newsgroup and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to gauge the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: There is a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then wants to lay the blame on the same one that Rachmaninoff used for the "Rhapsody" (note that the discussion of a CD. You have attempted to extrapolate by a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was "good"?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: But you don't want to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:

Say: There is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: I invite you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that universities do more than just a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then wants to lay the blame on the stage isn't what you want. I'm responding were crossposted, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my responses in it.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Also incorrect. Here's the date on the posting to which I made a further posting to which I'm responding to you. Too bad that others aren't aware of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been said to have dictated the length of the meeting I was responding.

Play:

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play: