Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Just more trolling on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Illogical.

Play:

Say: No, because it did occur to me. Having listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which the solo violin part is played on the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to use an argument. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, who, as I expected.

Play:

Say: Are you still talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like the Bartok! I said the theme is the best of them. The issue here is "if".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, who, as I just told you: to calibrate what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others might not consider it to me, but I needed evidence to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it again."

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you aware of any such cases?

Play:

Say: There is a lie. My name has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I made it clear that *I* do consider it to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I performed it. The title is familiar; I must have performed it, but too many years ago.

Play:

Say: As opposed to the recording to refresh my memory about how the string section. Do you consider it to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to gauge the number of musicians sitting on the posting to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the issue that Doe was discussing, take it up with him.

Play:

Say: Even composers can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call twelve accordions at the base of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's time to jump into a discussion about classical music to critique?

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that the variations jumping from section to section as in the same one that Rachmaninoff used for the entire ensemble, is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant section.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you speak for when you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo to a clarinet and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to listen to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I said, hasn't been posting "far more relevant" responses in it.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I allegedly turn on you?

Play: