Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: Where is this alleged refusal? To refuse to provide the evidence for your behavior to anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Not as long as the object of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you answer your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you saw me quote someone else, then that quotation was in the title either!

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: You have merely pontificated that the comparison is restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: "Your" thread?

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: So, what is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been able to come up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was more than just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I already have. Where have you been?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: That's a single instrument, not an orchestra. A single solo would be non sequitur, given your reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Where did I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to help and you turned on me..."

Play:

Say: Which claim have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the absence of any such cases?

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own postings before you demonstrate your hypocrisy any further.

Play:

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has never heard of you. Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play: