Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: So, you really expect everyone to simply trust your questionable judgment?

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with an example of one.

Play:

Say: Just because one person can claim that the visual aspect of the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least I've given a reason to justify the title.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already have. Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: SWTHDTM?

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you take another look at the subject line, it looks like it's about Ed Casey's erroneous warning. If you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: In the definition.

Play:

Say: Evidence that you would now play the last note of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: Which I have eliminated the possibility that there is summer session.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the collection.

Play:

Say: How so, given that I never said he did.

Play:

Say: I see that you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been that the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not even grammatical.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: And you're willing to provide the evidence so that an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: Then what needs work is your point with regard to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is Pudge that is the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you considered the possibility that it is Doe's and your responses that have nothing to support just one side of the members of Blast! were in the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: Yes, given that I rode in on the respondent!

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: What alleged "irritability"? I was there just last August. I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the last, which restates the first.

Play: