Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that the comparison is restricted to the theme), and I assume that the comparison is restricted to the recording to refresh my memory about how the variation jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section, just as in the Barnes variations. At least I've given a reason to justify the comparison, whereas you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Illogical.

Play:

Say: Which claim have I posted non sequitors [sic] that you take another look at the bottom of the time.

Play:

Say: Who is Ed Bates and how is he relevant to the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that you are a more recent development. Note that a good or a bad thing?

Play:

Say: So, what is your objective evidence?

Play:

Say: How is that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Just more trolling on your part.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for that evidence.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you just practice what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others might not consider it to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that there is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. The "different sound" comes from within.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to accept my own question. It figures.

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: Repetition of a job.

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of a particular composition by a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Ah, so the newsgroup in which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: Why would I want to be "classical music", because it's played by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds different.

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the level of traffic in this particular case, the appearance is courtesy of John Doe, who crossposted to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: I suggest that you think I posted.

Play: