The Troll Variations
for a soloist
by
Tom Duff
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Instructions

This piece is for a soloist playing any instrument.

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Those were the guesses. I identified one of length, and you've done by Jim Curnow.

Play:




Say: Especially to anyone who wants it.

Play:


Say: Classic pontification.

Play:


Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of lemons.

Play:


Say: What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "irritability"? I was replying was crossposted to that judgment.

Play:




Say: Then what needs work is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:


Say: You might want to be convinced that antagonists like Doe don't want to be perpetrated on the wrong person. Interesting that you "had no idea"...

Play:






Say: He did offer the opinion that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:




Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:


Say: But you don't realize how your statement applies to yourself is interesting, if not amusing.

Play:




Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:


Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than the "Fantasy Variations" to be perpetrated on the wrong person. Interesting that you are not meant to be "classical music", because it's played by a concert band arrangement.

Play:






Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:




Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do so.

Play:


Say: Then I'm qualified to be convinced.

Play:


Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I just told you: to calibrate what you posted in response to my posting that your remark was directed at me?

Play:




Say: But I had already read the message from someone who lacks a logical argument.

Play:




Say: He did offer the opinion that the Bartok is the non-OS/2 users that hang out with the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section! That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:








Say: Figures.

Play:


Say: That would be non sequitur, given your reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:




Say: You have merely pontificated that the Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:




Say: And it appears that the brass bands are extremely popular and fairly well represented in American record stores, but you still talking about the claim that I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:








Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:


Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:


Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:


Say: Like John Doe.

Play:


Say: There is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:




Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:


Say: Irrelevant, given that you are mistaken, and you haven't said anything about American composers, thus it is too long?

Play:




Say: Classic pontification.

Play: