Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, it was "good"?

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: You answered your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: Why do you claim that I also mentioned the length must be played properly to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play:

Say: Why do you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo to a clarinet and then moving on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of them.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already have. Where have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: You might want to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that your remark was directed at me?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is not something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Of what, allegedly?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say "we've"?

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: Ah, so the length of the time.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons, just like Pudge. I said nothing about "movements". I said that a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you saw me quote someone else, then that quotation was in the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: No, because it did occur to me. Having listened to the recording to refresh my memory about how the variation jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section. My reference to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: Just a note that the term "symphony", there is summer session.

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: So, what is your interest in this discussion?

Play: