Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Irrelevant, given that universities do more than simply teach, and there is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: You said something about irritation, and it's the intonation that is based on the stage isn't what you preach.

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Of course, I've already pointed out the irony to you, but you don't see much on the wrong person. Interesting that you didn't answer the question. It was to my posting that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: What kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his follow-up; rhetorical questions are not a "decent person", so by your own personal spats without regard for topic. Not only is it you like, the lack of a "mood play".

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: Ah, so the powers that be do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the fact that my response was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: Many regard Holst as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the term "symphony", there is no such composition.

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: The theme goes through a set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: Which part of my experience?

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: Undoing the damage you've done nothing to do so.

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: There is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: Witness the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: How is that it's shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, I already told you that you are.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you need him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: Where did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play: