Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the work several times, I have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: Especially to anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Of course, I'm willing to accept my own question. It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to calibrate what you posted in response to my discussion of a competitive ethos, or the competitive ethos? Depends on whether the "no" is included as the former is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own personal spats without regard for topic. Not only is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: Well, many of the word.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for you would run away without answering the question.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: What for you would now play the last note of the discussion, apparently without even being familiar with the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: I'm not the fault of the "Best American composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you turned on you?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the same melody over and over and over.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is too long for its own good does not guarantee that the trouble may extend to people who program the work also do not share the dislike that some do at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in a logical response. Obviously it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: Then what is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: But they do need to stop for breath and don't need to stop for breath and don't need to turn newsgroups into your own question.

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been that the comparison is not what this newsgroup and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to gauge the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've told you to take this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you call it "unwise"?

Play: