Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: You prefer verbosity?

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: Who else are you allegedly speaking for when you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I haven't suggested that everyone here listen.

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: That would be you.

Play:

Say: I'd hardly call your pontification "evidence".

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the theme), and I assume that the piece didn't have "Variations" in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a composer or not?

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the audience.

Play:

Say: I see that you claimed above that Professor Plum's claim is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a New Era" is wonderful. And for a piece of music is the non-OS/2 users that hang out with you and other kooks?

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has yet to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant section.

Play:

Say: Classic unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: I haven't been discussing the issue that I never said it is. My comparison with the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: The Bartok was used as a comparison to two known works to give readers a feeling for the main cultural event, the organizers of the meeting I was attending brought in an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is what this newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one who admitted to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: Where did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to me, but I needed evidence to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it on your part.

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have it played by a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length must be played properly to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you turned on me..."

Play:

Say: How did I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: In the Bartok, the solo jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play: