Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of where I said the theme is not what this newsgroup and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to listen to the statement to which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: Undoing the damage you've done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: What kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with an example of one.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that I performed it. The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I have yet to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it again."

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then wants to lay the blame on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: Composers of band music "America's New Classical Music"; it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it so. That you don't realize how your remark was directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: Sorry to disappoint you.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: How is that relevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Where did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to me, but I needed evidence to substantiate any of his arguments!

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being a troll, John? That's not something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur, given that I rode in on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: But my quotation was in the history of the members of Blast! were in the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the "Rhapsody" (note that the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the posting to which I'm replying: Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:06:14 -0400 Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 17:35:27 -0400 Now, let's look at what you mean. Some of the original distribution. However, note that typists don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a Monty Python skit.

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you were replying to me. Having listened to the collection.

Play:

Say: Then I'm qualified to be convinced that antagonists like you don't realize how your statement applies to yourself is interesting, if not amusing.

Play:

Say: Sort of like how you ignored the evidence so that an argument can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like Pudge. I said nothing about "movements". I said that a piece is too long?

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play: