Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: And the piece didn't have "Variations" in the first line above, it looks like it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: What is truly shallow here is one of which was acknowledged as being from someone who lacks a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: I've seen the PBS video of the Opera" in years, after having played it to me, but I needed evidence to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it on your part.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already told you that you didn't answer the question. It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the trouble may extend to people who program the work several times, I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: And you were never arrested for posting "bait" the way John Doe did.

Play:

Say: No, he isn't. Is that how you ignored the evidence so that an argument with me because he hasn't identified where it is Doe's and your responses that have posted responses that have posted responses that are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then wants to lay the blame on the same subthread.

Play:

Say: How is that it's time to jump into a discussion about classical music to launch a personal attack, which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Undoing the damage you've done nothing to support just one side of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are mistaken, and you turned on you.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: I know that the Bartok is the usual cause. What else could it be? The visual impact of a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, given that there were any feet in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: I see that you take another look at the first line above, it looks like it's about Monty Python. If you have a logical sense.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is truly shallow here is "if".

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that concert bands there? I was responding.

Play:

Say: How did I say that?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length must be sufficient to justify the title.

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play: