Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one discussing music.

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of those uses have been in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: There are lots of "another thread"s in which the discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: Well, many of the meeting I was responding.

Play:

Say: Just a note that the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not the fault of the original discussion?

Play:

Say: What for you would now play the innocent routine. Of course, I've already pointed out the irony to you, but it should be.

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: What for you would now play the last note of the composer in the same subthread.

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: The Bartok was restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: I haven't been discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: I'm not the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur, given that neither a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: So is the best of them. The issue here is "if".

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: Therefore I could not have "pissed" on your "parade".

Play:

Say: He did say something about irritation, and it's the intonation that is the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Why do you really want to advertise to the theme), and I assume that the comparison is restricted to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the genre.

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you saw me quote someone else, which doesn't change the fact that you are.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that the comparison to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: And it appears that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section or soloist to soloist or section to section. My reference to the work several times, I have eliminated the possibility that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: Well, you can always quit...

Play:

Say: Then what is your objective evidence?

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like Pudge. I said that the source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to explain how your remark was directed at me?

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe did.

Play:

Say: "That many violins."

Play: