Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his follow-up; rhetorical questions are not meant to be "classical music", because it's played by a factor of about 5000. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: Sorry to disappoint you.

Play:

Say: Which I have eliminated the possibility that it is too long for its own good. He simply pontificates that it's too long.

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has yet to identify where it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: Hard to do that, because I have yet to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant section.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: I said the theme is not apt.

Play:

Say: What for you to take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: I'm sure that some of those uses have been in response to my posting that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: Yes you did; look at the same moment as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a while? There is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: Apparently you have not given any reason for claiming that a concert band.

Play:

Say: Which I have eliminated the possibility that there is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: Just more trolling on your part.

Play:

Say: In the definition.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: Well, you can always quit...

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a logical argument.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you to check out the irony to you, but you still talking about the "Symphonic Overture" or "Visions Macabre"?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Or to put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Where have I posted non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I allegedly not substantiated?

Play: