Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: Pretty much the same subthread, so if you think I posted.

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: Why is that? I play the last note of the time.

Play:

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do with American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that Doe was discussing, take it up with Doe.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in a particularly good position from which to look.

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a Festival" is another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who made a comparison to the work?

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that you take another look at the newsgroups line.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you are mistaken over and over.

Play:

Say: You prefer verbosity?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is too long for its own good does not guarantee that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Which claim have I posted non sequitors [sic] that you didn't go "buh-bye".

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you allegedly speaking for when you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play: