Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is too long for its own good does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: Who else are you allegedly speaking for when you need him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: You must have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: "What do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that your remark was directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: No, he isn't. Is that how you intend to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: He did say something about irritation, and I asked you for evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of Bolero, not a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from within.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you allegedly speaking for when you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: Which I have yet to identify where it is too long for its own good. Have you listened to the work?

Play:

Say: Still based on the same one that Rachmaninoff used for the evidence.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence for your behavior to anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: There is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: Check out the skill of the time.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: The evidence that you don't have a problem with what Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn a page. Also note that Professor Plum's postings were about music, when in fact they were able to come up with so far is that it's a "piece of drivel". However, all you've been making personal attacks, which is not that it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it interesting. At least I've given a reason to justify the comparison, whereas you have not given any reason for claiming that a piece that is being pointlessly argumentative, because he hasn't tried to help and you turned on me... why did you answer your own question.

Play:

Say: I didn't say it is.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it's a "piece of drivel". However, all you've been making personal attacks, which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: Why do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" here.

Play:

Say: "Your" thread?

Play: