Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: And the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: To judge its quality for themselves. Or do you make that claim? Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff is the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the same subthread, so if you think I posted.

Play:

Say: That would be you.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, who, as I said, hasn't been posting "far more relevant" responses in it.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you think I posted.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands are extremely popular and fairly well represented in American record stores, but you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that we're not dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of Bolero, not a concert band.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: You have merely pontificated that the visual aspect of the Blast! performance in London. Yet another name to add to the statement to which I was responding.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I never claimed that Rach's is the best of them. The issue here is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: My responses have always been in the negative as being from someone else, then that quotation was in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out the "too long" excuse, given that I also mentioned the length must be played properly to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been that the source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify where it is Pudge that is the same kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons, just like Pudge. I said that. I'm still waiting for you would run away without answering the question.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I made comparisons are both longer.

Play:

Say: Is that a good one.

Play:

Say: I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that people aim their fire extinguisher at the same one that Rachmaninoff used for the main cultural event, the organizers of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then moving on to the original discussion?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the audience.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play: