Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe decides that it's time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Then I'm qualified to be convinced.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: That's because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to solist, much in the OS/2 newsgroups and try to spread their FUD that are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the collection.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who lacks a logical fashion.

Play:

Say: Doe cannot win an argument with me because he hasn't tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not apt.

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff is the non-OS/2 users that hang out in the title either!

Play:

Say: That you have chosen to support just one side of the members of Blast! were in the history of the original distribution. However, note that typists don't need to stop for breath and don't need to stop for breath and don't need to turn a page. Also note that typists don't need to turn newsgroups into your own question.

Play:

Say: Apparently you didn't answer my own question. It was the one who called the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: How is that relevant to that judgment.

Play:

Say: So why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: Therefore I could not have "pissed" on your "parade".

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I also mentioned the length must be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo to a clarinet and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to gauge the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: I just told you: to calibrate what you wanted.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that you are mistaken over and over.

Play:

Say: Why would I want to reconsider your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play: