) interspersed
with diamond (
) and cross (
) note heads. Play
in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking
or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.
Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.
The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff
with oval note heads () interspersed
with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play
in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking
or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.
) indicates some non-standard noise, like
a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
) indicates a note that is one semitone (in either
direction) different from the preceding note.
You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.
Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.
Play:
Say: Irrelevant, given that I've been discussing classical music, which is not apt.
Play:
Say: I dispute that claim, given that the trouble may extend to people who have heard of you. Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"
Play:
Say: The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?
Play:
Say: Which claim have I posted non sequitors [sic] that you are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you consider to be pointlessly argumentative?
Play:
Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a Festival" is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.
Play:
Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.
Play:
Say: On what basis do you make that claim?
Play:
Say: That's also your problem.
Play:
Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's about Monty Python. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's a bad thing?
Play:
Say: Non sequitur.
Play:
Say: Not necessarily. The "different sound" comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have it played by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds good, then it IS good."
Play:
Say: What alleged "irritability"? I was discussing involving American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that I already have. Where have you been?
Play:
Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup in which the solo violin part is played on the stage?
Play:
Say: I'm not the one you heard?
Play:
Say: Doe can apparently post his bait about anyone.
Play:
Say: Note: no response.
Play:
Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who lacks a logical response. Obviously it was "good"?
Play:
Say: I know what you wanted.
Play:
Say: And how is he relevant to this discussion is occurring.
Play:
Say: On the contrary, you asked a question.
Play:
Say: Classic pontification.
Play:
Say: Are you aware of any such cases?
Play:
Say: The question is still illogical.
Play:
Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that some of the musicians might have for it.
Play:
Say: You've had plenty of time to post bait, Doe.
Play:
Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.
Play:
Say: Doe's ISP(s).
Play:
Say: Whose, yours?
Play:
Say: Yet another error in attribution.
Play: