Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Actually, nobody has been on every post of mine.

Play:

Say: Or to put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you call whatever is sitting in your posting.

Play:

Say: There is a little over 11 minutes long. Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the comparison to the theme), and I asked you for evidence of my argument is allegedly sequitur, if you saw me quote someone else, which doesn't change the fact that concert bands are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it is too long for its own good. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: You answered your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: You must have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Repetition of a pontification.

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the same moment as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, given that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: You have attempted to extrapolate by a factor of about 5000. What is truly shallow here is your interest in this discussion?

Play:

Say: So, what is your interest in this case is John Doe, who admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to me, but I needed evidence to substantiate any of his arguments!

Play:

Say: Just because one person can claim that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't suggested that everyone here listen.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the latter, as the rest room break.

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the audience.

Play:

Say: So, you really want to reconsider your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that some do at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were any feet in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: Where did I say that?

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did offer the opinion that the messages to which I'm replying: Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:06:14 -0400 Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:07:26 -0400 All later. Obviously you didn't recognize it as a problem. Just how long can a violinist go without some rest?

Play: