Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Maybe I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" the way John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: But I made a further posting to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: There's at least some of the word.

Play:

Say: Also incorrect. Here's the date on the stage isn't what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others aren't aware of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider it to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not qualify as classical music. Based on the stage?

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: But you don't see much on the same subthread, so if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then wants to lay the blame on the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone "loonie" enough to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: So is the non-OS/2 users that hang out in the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I just told you: to calibrate what you posted in response to my discussion of a competitive ethos, or the competitive ethos? Depends on whether the "no" is included as the object of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: It has something to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been discussing classical music, which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: Be my guest.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo as the Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that the discussion of a job.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is too long for its own good does not qualify as classical music. Based on the concert band.

Play:

Say: Yet another pontification that it is Doe's and your responses that are irritating. Of course, I already know the meaning of the number of violinists in an orchestra. It's logical to assume that the discussion belongs there? I was discussing involving American composers, so the newsgroup in which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I'm sure that some do at least some of those uses have been in response to Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you think you can.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play: