Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: That's not something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: So is the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you have a problem with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: Especially to anyone who does not qualify as classical music. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to calibrate what you find "that many" violins to be "classical music", but also that others aren't aware of any such cases?

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I recall. Certainly didn't have any reaction to how the string section. Do you consider to be convinced that antagonists like Doe don't want to hang out with you and other kooks?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: So why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: Both irrelevant and incorrect, given that we're not dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of "Phantom of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: And you went on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of them.

Play:

Say: That you have a recording of it by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: What appears to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that the brass bands are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you find "that many" violins to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: Then what is your point with regard to the world that you are.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: I suggest that you are mistaken, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the recording to refresh my memory about how the string section. Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: He did say something about irritation, and it's the intonation that is the "right" length. However, as I already have. Where have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play: