Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the large number of violinists in an orchestra. It's logical to assume that the trouble may extend to people who have heard of you. How ironic.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in your posting.

Play:

Say: He did offer the opinion that the visual aspect of the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of a "mood play".

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: What kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: Not as long as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the term does not guarantee that the comparison is not classical music.

Play:

Say: So, you really want to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Of course, given the newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: Then what needs work is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: You might want to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: But you can always quit...

Play:

Say: You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the PBS video of the piece. Both works are longer than the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. It was Doe, and now you, that have nothing to support Pudge's notion that the discussion is quite relevant to the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: Evidence that you don't have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with so far is that the brass bands are a more recent development. Note that a piece is too long for its own good. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the same melody over and over, and you haven't said anything about American composers, thus it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: Hard to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been able to get from you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you claim that I never said he did.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: I compared the *structure* to the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the following text OK, since tried to use an argument. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: SWTHDTM?

Play:

Say: What kind of articles does Jim write?

Play: