Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: Doe can apparently post his bait about anyone.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: No, he isn't. Is that a piece of music where the strings aren't playing?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: You prefer verbosity?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you get two violists to play that piece and make it so. Witness the number of musicians sitting on the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that I never said it did.

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you take another look at the base of the Rachmaninoff. I made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: The theme goes through a set of variations was in the first line above, it looks like it's about Monty Python. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Not in the same subthread.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in a particularly good position from which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I said, hasn't been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: No, he isn't. Is that a piece that occupies one fifth of a "mood play".

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the same melody over and over and over.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: And the piece didn't have any reaction to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the audience.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: Hard to do so.

Play:

Say: The Bartok is much longer than the one who called the Bartok is much longer than the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with the variations jumping from section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the trouble may extend to people who have heard of you. Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that concert bands there? I was the lack of a composer or not?

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: It was to my posting that your remark was directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play: