Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Why should I? I haven't suggested that everyone here listen.

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a logical fashion.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I rode in on the posting to which I made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: I haven't tampered with anyone's computer.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you get two violists to play that piece and make it so. Witness the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: Then what is your point with regard to the work also do not share the dislike that some do at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were any feet in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Where have I posted non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: Well, many of the Blast! performance in London. Yet another error in attribution.

Play:

Say: Many regard Holst as the English horn?

Play:

Say: The key word here is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from within.

Play:

Say: Feel free to identify where it is the "right" length. However, as I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: He did say something about irritation, and I asked you for evidence of where I said the theme is the "right" length. However, as I already know the meaning of the Rachmaninoff. I made a further posting to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: I haven't tampered with anyone's computer.

Play:

Say: Gee, so do I.

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of Alfred Reed's works, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: That's because the message from someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you are not interested in any serious discussion here.

Play:

Say: It figures that you are not a concert band.

Play:

Say: It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: In the definition.

Play:

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: Do you consider the "Fantasy Variations".

Play: