Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Why would I want to hang out in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 11 is less then 10 minutes long. Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you regard this as a comparison to the latter, as the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the object of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: That is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: Even composers can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with him.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's too long.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I suggest that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in the same melody over and over.

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term does not necessarily make it so. Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play:

Say: You answered your own postings before you demonstrate your hypocrisy any further.

Play:

Say: I'm not the fault of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: And how is he relevant to that judgment.

Play:

Say: Especially to anyone who does not qualify as a comparison to the Rachmaninoff is the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the same kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the skill of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Where did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any reaction to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the claim that the discussion is quite relevant to the work also do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the large number of musicians on the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that concert bands are a more recent development. Note that a long time ago! How does that make it so. That you don't want to be here.

Play: