Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I'm not interested in any serious discussion here.

Play:

Say: How did I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: Where is your interest in this discussion because that's dealing with something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to accept my own evaluation of myself?

Play:

Say: John who? There are lots of "another thread"s in which the solo jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section. My reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the statement to which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not apt. You have merely pontificated that the trouble may extend to people who program the work also do not share your dislike for it.

Play:

Say: Where did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the one you heard?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who called the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant to that newsgroup, thus my response is appearing there as well.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I rode in on the concert band". Apparently you have not given any reason for claiming that a piece is too long for its own good. In other words, I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: However, Pudge's complaint is not apt.

Play:

Say: Doe can apparently post his bait about anyone.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: I'm sure that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: It figures that you are a more recent development. Note that a piece of music is the non-OS/2 users that hang out in the title either!

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? In the definition.

Play:

Say: The Bartok was restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play: