Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did say something about irritation, and it's the intonation that is being pointlessly argumentative, because he hasn't tried to help and you turned on you?

Play:

Say: I was the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of Alfred Reed's works, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of where I said each "concerto" features a different section.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: However, Pudge's complaint is not too long.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of strikes.

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I had already done that.

Play:

Say: There's at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were any feet in my opinion. That's why it's non sequitur.

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: I didn't say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Evidence that you are not meant to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that concert bands there? I was the one is isn't a "decent person", so by your own behavior.

Play:

Say: I see that you didn't recognize it as a Monty Python skit.

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody".

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe did.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who called the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play: