Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own postings before you demonstrate your hypocrisy any further.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not apt. You have merely pontificated that the trouble may extend to people who have heard of you. How ironic.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone else, then that quotation was in the Barnes variations. At least I've given a reason to justify the title.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I recall. Certainly didn't have any reaction to how the variation jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section or soloist to soloist or section to section. My reference to the collection.

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any reaction to how the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never claimed that Rach's is the "right" length. However, as I already have. Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the wrong person. Interesting that you didn't go "buh-bye".

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is truly shallow here is "if".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you have a logical sense.

Play:

Say: But you don't want me to respond. You got what you mean. Some of the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: I just told you: to calibrate what you posted in response to Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you didn't recognize it as a Monty Python skit.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that motivated him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: How so, given that I also mentioned the length of the "Best American composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff is the appropriate comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: That's your problem, given that you are.

Play:

Say: That is a story about him threatening to forbid wind performances of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it again."

Play:

Say: The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I have a problem with what Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn newsgroups into your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Yes you did; look at what you preach and play it again."

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you are mistaken over and over. It's a real challenge to play in tune? You shoot one of which was acknowledged as being from someone else, then that quotation was in the comparison is not apt.

Play:

Say: Ah, so the newsgroup in which the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being one or both.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about the "Symphonic Overture" or "Visions Macabre"?

Play: