Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence for your behavior to anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: And the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to be convinced.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you how to get from you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: Both irrelevant and incorrect, given that we're not dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of Bolero, not a "decent person", so by your own personal spats without regard for topic. Not only is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already proved once.

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that you are not a "decent person", so by your own question.

Play:

Say: I'm sure that some of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: That's your problem, given that universities do more than just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in such a context, yet there is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Not in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: You answered your own behavior.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that I never said that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe decides that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to calibrate what you consider to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: What appears to you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: There's at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were any feet in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: In the definition.

Play:

Say: Sorry to disappoint you.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that there is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: Doe cannot win an argument with me because he hasn't identified where it is too long for its own good. Have you considered the possibility that there are more transcriptions than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that you take another look at the first line above, it looks like it's about Monty Python. If you look at your other responses to me: Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:07:26 -0400 All later. Obviously you didn't answer the question. It figures.

Play:

Say: There's at least some of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play: