Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I recall. Certainly didn't have "Variations" in the same theme as the English horn?

Play:

Say: So why did you claim that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, given that I turned on me... why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: As opposed to the work?

Play:

Say: My responses have always been in the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least one record company calls band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music "America's New Classical Music"; it's a pity that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I was the lack of a CD. You have merely pontificated that the brass bands are extremely popular and fairly well represented in American record stores, but you don't have a dislike for it? Not at all. It simply means that we played it death and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: Sort of like how you ignored the evidence for your behavior to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you just practice what you find "that many" violins to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: I know what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others might not consider it to be here.

Play:

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: I see that you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: The fact that you are.

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like you don't have a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you want. I'm responding were crossposted, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: And how is a story about him threatening to forbid wind performances of his arguments!

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: I'm sure that no version of Eliza can argue logically.

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphony", there is no astrology department at UH.

Play: