Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: "Your" thread?

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity. You flubbed it.

Play:

Say: You must have performed it, but too many years ago.

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the level of my argument is allegedly sequitur, if you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: "If it sounds different.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: It means "to follow" in a logical sense.

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking in such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking in a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own question.

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already done that.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the Bartok is the "right" length. However, as I already told you that you claimed above that Professor Plum's claim is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a Festival" is another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider to be answered, yet he wanted an answer.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been about American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that Doe was discussing, take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: But I had already done that.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play: