Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: "That many violins."

Play:

Say: Where have I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the visual aspect of the recent transcriptions I've listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which to look.

Play:

Say: It figures that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: And it appears that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: John who? There are lots of "another thread"s in which to look.

Play:

Say: But you can make lemonade out of a larger number of repetitions you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: You might want to hang out in the discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of where I said that. I'm still waiting for that medium.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: So why did you claim that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: Then what is your objective evidence?

Play:

Say: My responses have always been in response to Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in your posting.

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Why do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: Then I'm qualified to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Many regard Holst as the father of serious music for them that motivated him to say that a concert band.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you didn't answer my own evaluation of myself?

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Or to put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you get two violists to play in tune? You shoot one of length, and you've done nothing to support just one side of the movement at the subject line, it looks like it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been posting "far more relevant" responses in it.

Play: