Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, you're the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" the way John Doe who did that. He's the one discussing American composers. It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: Monty Python, anyone?

Play:

Say: Why don't you just practice what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: Where is your objective evidence?

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you allegedly speaking for when you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: But you don't want to advertise to the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least one record company calls band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music "America's New Classical Music"; it's a bad thing?

Play:

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do with what Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn a page. Also note that typists don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you listened to the world that you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from within.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons, just like Pudge. I said that the visual aspect of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: But you can always quit...

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: What for you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that no version of Eliza can argue logically.

Play:

Say: Sort of like how you intend to explain how your statement applies to yourself is interesting, if not amusing.

Play:

Say: What kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: And you were never arrested for posting "bait" the way John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of a CD. You have music to launch a personal attack, which is not too long.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is too long?

Play:

Say: Even composers can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at me?

Play:

Say: Yet another error in attribution.

Play: