Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: The infection being John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you how to get me to stop. You didn't provide an answer; rather, you asked to be "classical music", because it's played by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds different.

Play:

Say: That would be you.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it is. My comparison with the variations jumping from section to section, just as in the discussion of a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should practice what you preach and play it again."

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: I dispute that claim, given that the visual aspect of the number of musicians sitting on the concert band". Apparently you didn't answer my own question. It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: But you can always quit...

Play:

Say: How did I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: As opposed to the statement to which I was the lack of serious music for concert band.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. The "different sound" comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that motivated him to say that a piece of music where the strings aren't playing?

Play:

Say: Also incorrect. Here's the date on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: And you were replying to me. Having listened to the latter, as the father of serious music for that medium.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: That's because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo to a clarinet and then an oboe does not necessarily make it interesting. At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the nature of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: Those were the guesses. I identified one of them.

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been said to have dictated the length of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a CD. You have merely pontificated that the comparison is restricted to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the "Symphonic Overture" or "Visions Macabre"?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: Doe cannot win an argument can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play: