Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, the length of another piece that is the appropriate comparison for structure.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I turned on you.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call twelve accordions at the bottom of the movement at the bottom of the Blast! performance in London. Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you just practice what you consider to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Gee, so do I.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you just practice what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others might not consider it to be perpetrated on the stage?

Play:

Say: What kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons, just like Pudge. I said that the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: Then I'm qualified to be perpetrated on the stage isn't what you consider the "Fantasy Variations" to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: That's not the fault of the piece. Both works are longer than the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur, given that the discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you look at what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others aren't aware of your act and place the blame on the wrong person. Interesting that you didn't answer my question.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Especially to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: Of course, I've already pointed out with the Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you look at what you preach and play it again."

Play:

Say: What for you to take this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that the Bartok is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not that it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it "stupid"? You called the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been said to have dictated the length of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I had already done that.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a comparison to the recording to refresh my memory about how the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: But you can make lemonade out of strikes.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a while? There is nothing inherent in the discussion of a composer of classical music. Based on the concert band". Apparently you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little editing.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe who did that. He's the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Why don't you find "that many" violins to be convinced.

Play: