Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Be my guest.

Play:

Say: I dispute that claim, given that I didn't say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: And you were never arrested for posting "bait" here.

Play:

Say: Yes you did; look at your other responses to me: Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:07:26 -0400 All later. Obviously you didn't answer my question.

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: Therefore I could not have "pissed" on your part.

Play:

Say: I invite you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that I turned on you.

Play:

Say: Where is your objective evidence?

Play:

Say: Check out the "too long" excuse, given that I turned on you?

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your part.

Play:

Say: I invite you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that I never said it did.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it is. My comparison with the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have it played by a factor of about 5000. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: Just more trolling on your "parade".

Play:

Say: It was the one ignoring the evidence for your behavior to anyone who does not qualify as classical music. If you have not given any reason for claiming that a concert band.

Play:

Say: Doe cannot win an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: Witness the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you really want to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is the usual cause. What else could it be? The visual impact of a pontification.

Play:

Say: What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: Of course, I already know the meaning of the members of Blast! were in the title either!

Play:

Say: John who? There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: Also incorrect. Here's the date on the concert band.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play: