Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: How did I say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: You might want to be here.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't answer the question. It was the lack of a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that you take another look at what you consider the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Then what is your interest in this discussion?

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence for your behavior to anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you still talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: I invite you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that the trouble may extend to people who have heard of you. How ironic.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already proved once.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: How did I say it was John Doe did.

Play:

Say: Those were the guesses. I identified one of them.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has yet to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is the "right" length. However, as I expected.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a further posting to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your posting.

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been on every post of mine.

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Gee, so do I.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play: