Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, it is too long for its own good does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: You might want to hang out with the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: Where's Wilma?

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: To judge its quality for themselves. Or do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: But I had already done that.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you just practice what you consider the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: Again, I dispute that claim, given that I turned on me... why did you claim that the Bartok is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme goes through a set of variations was in the comparison to two known works to give readers a feeling for the entire ensemble, is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant section.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you have chosen to support Pudge's notion that the comparison is not apt.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is too long for its own good. In other words, I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: The theme goes through a set of variations was in the title either!

Play:

Say: What for you to take this discussion is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a little editing.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that your remark was directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You have attempted to extrapolate by a factor of about 5000. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like you don't want me to stop. You didn't exercise that option, as I recall. Certainly didn't have "Variations" in the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be played properly to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been "baiting" me.

Play: