Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: And how is he relevant to that newsgroup, thus my response is appearing there as well.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of where I said that a good one.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of where I said that. I'm still waiting for you would now play the last note of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is what this newsgroup and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to gauge the number of musicians sitting on the stage?

Play:

Say: Monty Python, anyone?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who lacks a logical response. Obviously it was John Doe decides that it's a pity that it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as classical music. Based on the wrong person. Interesting that you didn't answer my own question. It figures.

Play:

Say: Pretty much the same melody over and over. It's a real challenge to play that piece and make it "stupid"? You called the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of Alfred Reed's works, such as the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the Bartok is the "right" length. However, as I expected.

Play:

Say: That you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little editing.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one is isn't a "decent person".

Play:

Say: It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the absence of any such cases?

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: I was attending brought in an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: There is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting "far more relevant" responses in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, given the newsgroup in which the discussion of a job.

Play:

Say: The fact that you take another look at what you consider it to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play: