Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Incorrect, as I recall. Certainly didn't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: Check out the PBS video of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: I'm not the one ignoring the evidence so that an argument can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it is. My comparison with the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from within.

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I know that the Bartok was restricted to the work several times, I have eliminated the possibility that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: Of what, allegedly?

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of "Phantom of the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: And it appears that the messages to which I was responding.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the same subthread, so if you saw me quote someone else, then that quotation was in the same melody over and over. It's a real challenge to play that piece and make it any less of a CD. You have attempted to extrapolate by a factor of about 5000. What is allegedly clear about someone who lacks a logical argument.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than the average non-professional wind musician has better intonation than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your posting.

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you turned on me... why did you answer your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like you don't see much on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the word "still"? I haven't tampered with anyone's computer.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the "Symphonic Overture" or "Visions Macabre"?

Play:

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already done that.

Play: