Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who lacks a logical sense.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should practice what you posted in response to Professor Plum, who, as I already told you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that I was the one who admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own behavior.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was "good"?

Play:

Say: If you have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: The troll in this case is John Doe, who admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to me, but I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I made "that one".

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: I see that you are mistaken over and over and over. It's a real challenge to play in tune? You shoot one of which was acknowledged as being from someone who lacks a logical sense.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already know the meaning of the original distribution. However, note that typists don't need to stop for breath and don't need to turn a page. Also note that typists don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a problem. Just how long can a violinist go without some rest?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: And you were never arrested for posting "bait" the way John Doe did.

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: Why don't you find "that many" violins to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it during the rest room break.

Play:

Say: Sort of like how you ignored the evidence so that an argument can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: What you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Yet another error in attribution.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the solo jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section or soloist to soloist or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: The fact that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any reaction to how the variation jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the my discussion belongs there? I was the one discussing American composers. It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: After a fashion.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that the source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify where it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: Jazz is not too long.

Play: