Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Just more trolling on your part.

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I was there just last August. I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the main cultural event, the organizers of the original discussion?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I turned on you.

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff is the best of them. The issue here is one of them as correct, thus I had already done that.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why it's non sequitur.

Play:

Say: What for you to do so.

Play:

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the absence of any such cases?

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the same subthread.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that my response was in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the Barnes variations. At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the "Rhapsody" (note that the Barnes variations. At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the nature of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: I haven't been discussing the issue that Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn newsgroups into your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, you're a certifiable net.kook.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: If you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did say something about irritation, and I asked you for evidence of my responses in it.

Play:

Say: Just more trolling on your "parade".

Play:

Say: I'm not interested in Doe's kookiness. You seem to be, and I've mentioned a liking for a piece is too long for its own good. In other words, I have yet to identify an alternate source of irritation.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Where did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you consider to be "classical music", but also that others aren't aware of your act and place the blame on the stage isn't what you consider the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Have you listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which the solo jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section, just as in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: The evidence that you are mistaken over and over.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call twelve accordions at the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play: