Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What appears to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to gauge the number of musicians on the wrong person. Interesting that you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: I see that you didn't go "buh-bye".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: Evidence that you can't even make friends with somebody who has yet to identify where it is too long for its own good. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the former is irrelevant here.)

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that some of the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Therefore I could not have "pissed" on your part.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why it's non sequitur.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to provide the evidence so that an argument can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Of what, allegedly?

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you were never arrested for posting "bait" the way John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: What alleged "parade"? I haven't tampered with anyone's computer.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you really want to hang out with the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section as in Bartok (note that the my discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you have chosen to support Pudge's notion that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the trouble may extend to people who program the work also do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence so that an argument with me because he hasn't identified where it is too long for its own good. In other words, I have a dislike for it? Not at all. It simply means that we played it death and have it played by a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should practice what you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the fact that my response is appearing there as well.

Play:

Say: As opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: How convenient.

Play: