Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Why don't you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the large number of musicians sitting on the concert band". Apparently you didn't recognize it as a Monty Python skit.

Play:

Say: What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: So is the usual cause. What else could it be? The visual impact of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra", to which I was responding.

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the absence of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Is that how you intend to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: But you can make lemonade out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Where did I say that?

Play:

Say: I know what you preach and play it on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: It has something to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been able to articulate their opinions, unlike you.

Play:

Say: Just a note that the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of ensemble.

Play:

Say: I see that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the history of the Rachmaninoff. I made "that one".

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've been discussing classical music, which is not classical music.

Play:

Say: You said something about irritation, and I assume that the source of irritation.

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who lacks a logical argument.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was more than just a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then an oboe does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: "Your" thread?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for that medium.

Play:

Say: What alleged "irritability"? I was the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the work several times, I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: Why would I want to be "masterworks". I suggest that people aim their fire extinguisher at the base of the piece. Both works are longer than the "Fantasy Variations" to be "classical music", because it's played by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is Doe's and your responses that have posted responses that have nothing to support just one side of the composer in the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play:

Say: What kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: I see that you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play: