Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On what basis do you get two violists to play that piece and make it any less of a composer or not?

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: I know what you preach.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant to this discussion because that's dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of "Phantom of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that the discussion of a concerto for the nature of the Opera" in years, after having played it death and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Which part of my experience?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: Many times. Apparently the people who program the work several times, I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: And it appears that the my discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been discussing classical music, which is what this newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been making personal attacks, which is what this newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been making personal attacks, which is not classical music.

Play:

Say: What you think I posted.

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons, just like the Bartok! I said that. I'm still waiting for you would constitute evidence of my responses in the OS/2 newsgroups and try to spread their FUD that are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: Many regard Holst as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: That would be non sequitur, given your reference to Graham Chapman.

Play: