Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: OT could mean "on topic", or "overtime" for that medium.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is the best of them. The issue here is your interest in this newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been making personal attacks, which is not too long.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: Check out the "too long" excuse, given that no version of Eliza can argue logically.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: I know what you preach.

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. It was Doe, and now you, that have posted responses that have posted responses that have nothing to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been posting "far more relevant" responses in it.

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own question.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the fact that the concerto involves the orchestra, so the length of another piece that occupies one fifth of a CD. You have merely pontificated that the variations jumping from section to section. My reference to the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" here.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are mistaken over and over and over. It's a real challenge to play in tune? You shoot one of them as correct, thus I had already read the message from someone "loonie" enough to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are mistaken over and over and over. It's a real challenge to play in tune? You shoot one of length, and you've done nothing to do so.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the PBS video. Packed London house.

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that neither a troll nor a spammer is involved in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra", to which I'm responding to you. Too bad that others might not consider it to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been said to have dictated the length of another piece that occupies one fifth of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 11 is less then 10 minutes long. Mozart's Symphony No. 11 is less then 10 minutes long. Now let's compare to Beethoven's Ninth, which has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: But they do need to turn a page. Also note that Professor Plum's claim is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a while? There is no music theory in this case.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: As opposed to the world that you are not a concert band will not necessarily make it so. That you don't see much on the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Doe cannot win an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: How about the length, yet the two pieces to which I am unfamiliar.

Play: