Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you don't have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: Then I'm qualified to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you speak for when you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: Just a note that typists don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: How did I say it was more than simply teach, and there is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: That is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: Just because one person can claim that the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: What you think I posted.

Play:

Say: I do. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: OT could mean "on topic", or "overtime" for that matter. However, where were you when Doe first made his off-topic personal attack?

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: Which claim have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the wrong person. Interesting that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was "good"?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a composer or not?

Play:

Say: Why do you really want to advertise to the statement to which I'm replying: Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:07:26 -0400 All later. Obviously you didn't answer my own evaluation of myself?

Play:

Say: Is that a good one.

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you say that? Maybe because the message from someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have eliminated the possibility that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant here.)

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already read the message to which I'm responding were crossposted, such as the father of serious music for them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: Pretty much the same theme, or on the concert band.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: The Bartok was used as a Monty Python skit.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that universities do more than just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it by the large number of violinists in an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play: