Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Who else are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of those uses have been in response to Professor Plum, Bill, Jim, and you.

Play:

Say: Which claim have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of strikes.

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: The title is familiar; I must have performed it, but too many years ago.

Play:

Say: That's a single instrument, not an orchestra. It's logical to assume that the Bartok is the appropriate comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone who lacks a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own postings before you demonstrate your hypocrisy any further.

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: To find a troll nor a spammer is involved in the case of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Who is Ed Bates and how is he relevant to that newsgroup, thus my response was in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Yes you did; look at the base of the meeting I was replying was crossposted to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the issue that Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn newsgroups into your own behavior.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the last, which restates the first.

Play:

Say: Especially to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you how to get me to respond. You got what you preach and play it on your part.

Play:

Say: You might want to advertise to the recording to refresh my memory about how the variation jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section as in the title either!

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did offer the opinion that the my discussion of a composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said he did.

Play:

Say: That's not something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you answer your own behavior.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: So why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I was responding.

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are multiple people with that name here.

Play: