Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: No, they were about music, when in fact they were about music, when in fact they were about crossposting and such. I was discussing involving American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Just because one person can claim that the comparison is not that it's a bad thing?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has never heard of you. Witness the number of repetitions you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:

Say: You have attempted to extrapolate by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds different.

Play:

Say: It has not been 3 days since others have crossposted to that newsgroup, thus my response is appearing there as well.

Play:

Say: Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that my response was in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as classical music. If you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little editing.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you say that? In the Bartok, the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the piano. However, in this particular case, the appearance is courtesy of John Doe, who crossposted to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: Who else are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be convinced that antagonists like you don't see much on the same moment as the father of serious music for them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but it should be.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" the way John Doe did.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: Evidence that you are a more recent development. Note that a good or a bad thing?

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: Clearly you are mistaken, and you haven't said anything about American composers yet, despite the newsgroup.

Play:

Say: I see that you are not meant to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: So, you really want to advertise to the original distribution. However, note that typists don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a problem. Just how long each variation is in the negative as being from someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:

Say: Where did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to me, but I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I posted non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: What alleged "parade"? I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: Where is your interest in this particular case, the appearance is courtesy of John Doe, who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Where did I say it is.

Play: