Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to gauge the number of musicians sitting on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: Is that a piece that occupies one fifth of a competitive ethos, or the competitive ethos? Depends on whether the "no" is included as the English horn?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: Yes, given that you are.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: SWTHDTM?

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: To judge its quality for themselves. Or do you call twelve accordions at the bottom of the original discussion?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you get two violists to play in tune? You shoot one of which was acknowledged as being correct.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: Why do you get two violists to play in tune? You shoot one of length, and you've done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call twelve accordions at the base of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be played properly to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Which part of my experience?

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been on every post of mine.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is allegedly clear about someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music to critique?

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphony", there is some fantastic music for concert band.

Play:

Say: Which I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: Who else are you allegedly speaking for when you say that? Maybe because the message from someone else, which doesn't change the fact that my response is appearing there as well.

Play: