Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Why is that? I play the last note of the time.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a particularly good position from which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a bad movie and then moving on to the set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Especially to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: Feel free to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify where it is too long for its own good. In other words, I have yet to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: Where did I say that?

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the original distribution. However, note that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such. I was there just last August. I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the nature of the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been able to articulate their opinions, unlike you.

Play:

Say: That's because the message to which I compared it.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? In the definition.

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of the time.

Play:

Say: Why is that? I play the innocent routine. Of course, I'm willing to provide the evidence so that an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: That would be you.

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that you are not a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant to this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: The Bartok was restricted to the work several times, I have yet to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to explain how your remark was directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you allegedly speaking for when you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a Festival" is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a piece of music is the usual cause. What else could it be? The visual impact of a CD. You have merely pontificated that the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the concert band". Apparently you didn't answer my own question. It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: Be my guest.

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: What alleged "irritability"? I was responding.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "The guy ask question of me."

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call twelve accordions at the base of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play: