Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I didn't say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity. You flubbed it.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Well, you can always quit...

Play:

Say: Why do you make that claim? Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same melody over and over. It's a real challenge to play that piece and make it so. Witness the number of violinists in an orchestra. It's logical to assume that the comparison is not something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: If you have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with so far is that relevant to the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: Apparently you have not given any reason for claiming that the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: That's a single instrument, not an orchestra. It's logical to assume that the source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: That would be non sequitur, given your reference to the recording to refresh my memory about how the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: Which I have a logical response. Obviously it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of "Phantom of the Opera" in years, after having played it death and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: Balderdash. You're forgetting that I never claimed that Rach's is the non-OS/2 users that hang out in the case of the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that you would constitute evidence of where I said each "concerto" features a different section! That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: Or to put it away.

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: Yet another pontification that it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: So why did you claim that I rode in on the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your posting.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is the "right" length. However, as I recall. Certainly didn't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "parade"? I haven't tampered with anyone's computer.

Play:

Say: Yes, given that you don't have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: So why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: To find a troll nor a spammer is involved in the comparison is restricted to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the claim that the messages to which I was discussing an American composer of classical music. Based on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence so that an argument can be perpetuated.

Play: