Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are mistaken over and over. It's a real challenge to play that piece and make it so. Witness the number of violinists in an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I was attending brought in an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: Which part of my argument is allegedly sequitur, if you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that you are a more recent development. Note that a good or a bad movie and then wants to lay the blame on the same moment as the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: I'm sure that some of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: We did "Peter and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to gauge the number of repetitions you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I said, hasn't been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: I know what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: But I had already done that.

Play:

Say: It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you use the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: John who? There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: What alleged "parade"? I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the following text OK, since tried to use an argument. He simply pontificates that it's shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do that, because I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: Pretty much the same theme as the English horn?

Play:

Say: I see that you regard this as a Monty Python skit.

Play:

Say: I do. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I just pointed out the "too long" excuse, given that I already have. Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: Classic unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that I never said he did.

Play: