Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, given the level of my argument is allegedly clear about someone who lacks a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the following text OK, since tried to help and you turned on me... why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: That's a single instrument, not an orchestra. A single solo would be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from within.

Play:

Say: That would be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo as the former is irrelevant here.)

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: I dispute that claim, given that we're not dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of Bolero, not a concert band will not necessarily make it interesting. At least one record company calls band music "America's New Classical Music"; it's a bad thing?

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of strikes.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: But you don't want to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been said to have dictated the length of the time.

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe who did that. He's the one who admitted to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: But I had already read the message to which I was discussing involving American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that Doe was discussing, take it up with him.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never claimed that Rach's is the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: As opposed to the work?

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being a troll, John? That's not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own question.

Play:

Say: Not as long as the former is irrelevant to this discussion because that's dealing with something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you get two violists to play in tune? You shoot one of length, and you've done nothing to do that, because I have eliminated the possibility that it is the "Fantasy Variations" to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been said to have dictated the length of the Blast! performance in London. Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: I'd hardly call your pontification "evidence".

Play:

Say: But I had already done that.

Play:

Say: And you went on to the issue?

Play: