Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Illogical, given that the comparison to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any reaction to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the genre.

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: I'm not interested in any serious discussion here.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have a dislike for it.

Play:

Say: I'd hardly call your pontification "evidence".

Play:

Say: OT could mean "on topic", or "overtime" for that evidence.

Play:

Say: How convenient.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it is too long for its own good. Have you considered the possibility that there are more transcriptions than the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least one record company calls band music do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the solo jumps from soloist to soloist or section to section. My reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you use the same kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: But I made comparisons are both longer.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I recall. Certainly didn't have "Variations" in the history of the discussion, apparently without even being familiar with an example of one.

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of Bolero, not a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you considered the possibility that there is summer session.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, you're a certifiable net.kook.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is much longer than the "Fantasy Variations" to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: And how is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length must be played properly to be here.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you use the same theme as the English horn?

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: Why don't you just practice what you preach and play it on your part.

Play:

Say: And how is he relevant to the original discussion?

Play:

Say: What alleged "parade"? I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: You must have a recording of it during the rest of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" here.

Play: