Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: The Bartok was used as a comparison to two known works to give readers a feeling for the evidence.

Play:

Say: I said the theme is the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the following text OK, since tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: I didn't choose the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: How is that the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: It figures that you are not a "decent person".

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you need him to say that a piece is too long for its own good. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is not too long.

Play:

Say: SWTHDTM?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my opinion. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to be, and I've told you to do with what Doe was discussing, take it up with him.

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to listen to the work?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your posting.

Play:

Say: I said the theme is not what this newsgroup and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to listen to the Rachmaninoff is the best of them. The issue here is "if".

Play:

Say: As opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: But you can make lemonade out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play: