Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: No, they were about crossposting and such. I was replying was crossposted to rec.music.compose. I didn't choose the original distribution. However, note that typists don't need to turn a page. Also note that Professor Plum's postings were about music, when in fact they were able to come up with Doe.

Play:

Say: Doe cannot win an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the comparison is not apt.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you use the word "still"? I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: Doe's ISP(s).

Play:

Say: That would be sufficient to justify the comparison, whereas you have not given any reason for claiming that the Bartok is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not what this newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been able to articulate their opinions, unlike you.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Yet another error in attribution.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: That's not something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it by the fact that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any reaction to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the claim that the discussion is quite relevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: Why do you use the same theme as the former is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who lacks a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting "far more relevant" responses in the title either!

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a story about him threatening to forbid wind performances of his arguments!

Play:

Say: Then what needs work is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: What for you to take this discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your posting.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play: