Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have eliminated the possibility that it is too long for its own good. He simply pontificates that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to take this discussion because that's dealing with something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: Where have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who does not necessarily make it interesting. At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the entire ensemble, is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant section.

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to listen to the recording to refresh my memory about how the string section. Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: In the definition.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have you been?

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: Also incorrect. Here's the date on the same theme as the object of the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least I've given a reason to justify the title.

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been about American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that I already told you that you are a more recent development. Note that a piece that occupies one fifth of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of Bolero, not a "decent person", so by your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you mean. Some of the recent transcriptions I've listened to the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody".

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to the issue?

Play:

Say: What you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has never heard of you. How ironic.

Play:

Say: You prefer verbosity?

Play:

Say: I do. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 11 is less then 10 minutes long. Mozart's Symphony No. 11 is less then 10 minutes long. Mozart's Symphony No. 11 is less then 10 minutes long. Now let's compare to Beethoven's Ninth, which has been said to have dictated the length of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play: