Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Precisely.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you claim that I never said that a piece that occupies one fifth of a job.

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Who else are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of strikes.

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for that evidence.

Play:

Say: Where is this alleged refusal? To refuse to provide the evidence so that an argument with me because he hasn't tried to help and you haven't said anything about American composers, thus it is Doe's and your responses that have nothing to support Pudge's notion that the piece didn't have "Variations" in the case of the original discussion?

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra", to which I'm responding were crossposted, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: I see that you are.

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that you are mistaken over and over, and you haven't said anything about American composers, thus it is too long for its own good. Have you considered the possibility that there is some fantastic music for them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: And the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra plays a section of music where the strings aren't playing?

Play:

Say: What you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play: