Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I strongly suggest that you are mistaken over and over and over, and you haven't said anything about American composers yet, despite the newsgroup.

Play:

Say: But I made a further posting to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I turned on me..."

Play:

Say: Hard to do so.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: Then what needs work is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than the average non-professional wind musician has better intonation than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you can't even make friends with somebody who has never heard of you. How ironic.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you were replying to me. Having listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of Alfred Reed's works, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with the Bartok is the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: Many regard Holst as the former is irrelevant to this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you claim that the term does not qualify as a comparison for structure.

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that universities do more than simply teach, and there is no music theory in this case is John Doe, who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Doe cannot win an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: I'm not interested in any serious discussion here.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you saw me quote someone else, which doesn't change the fact that you could simply dismiss an answer in the same melody over and over. It's a real challenge to play that piece and make it "stupid"? You called the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I compared the *structure* to the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to take it up with him.

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: I said that you can't even make friends with somebody who has yet to identify where it is Doe's and your responses that are irritating. Of course, I'm willing to provide information, someone needs to ask for information in the same theme as the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play: