Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: That's your problem, given that I've been discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of where I said the theme is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme goes through a set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say "we've"?

Play:

Say: You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Even composers can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I was responding.

Play:

Say: If you have not given any reason for claiming that a piece is too long?

Play:

Say: So, what is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: Balderdash. You're forgetting that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have yet to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify where it is Doe's and your responses that have posted responses that are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the level of traffic in this discussion because that's dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of "Phantom of the Opera" in years, after having played it to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not qualify as a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: Sorry to disappoint you.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you claim that I never said it is. My comparison with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your part.

Play:

Say: How convenient.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: What alleged "parade"? I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: As opposed to logically.

Play: