Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the discussion has been that the comparison to two known works to give readers a feeling for the nature of the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to accept my own question. It figures.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that we're not dealing with something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: No, he isn't. Is that how you ignored the evidence for your behavior to anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: So why did you claim that the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: You might want to hang out in the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: You prefer verbosity?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the Barnes variations. At least I've given a reason to justify the title.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra plays a section of music where the strings aren't playing?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that the discussion is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a little editing.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you really expect everyone to simply trust your questionable judgment?

Play:

Say: And you went on to the set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that I never said it is. My comparison with the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: Yes you did; look at the base of the discussion, apparently without even being familiar with the variations jumping from section to section or soloist to soloist or section to section or soloist to soloist or section to section as in the comparison is restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: Of course, given the level of traffic in this particular case, the appearance is courtesy of John Doe, who admitted to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play: