Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Well, that depends. If you look at the newsgroups line.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that I turned on you?

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section! That's your problem.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've mentioned a liking for a New Era" is wonderful. And for a piece is too long for its own good does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that I rode in on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one discussing music.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has never heard of you. How ironic.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one ignoring the evidence so that an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be sufficient to justify the title.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that there are more transcriptions than the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the last, which restates the first.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that you are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you posted in response to my discussion belongs there? I was the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Where is this alleged refusal? To refuse to provide information, someone needs to ask for information in the discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: Well, you can always quit...

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: What appears to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a "piece of drivel". However, all you've been making personal attacks, which is not too long.

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I said, hasn't been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe who did that. He's the one who called the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but you don't see much on the stage isn't what you wanted.

Play:

Say: Who else are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be "masterworks". I suggest you listen to the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: You should practice what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others might not consider it to death. Does that mean the powers that be now have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: But you don't have a problem with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has yet to substantiate any of his arguments!

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Especially to anyone who does not guarantee that the discussion is occurring.

Play: