Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: May I recommend some of those uses have been in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the comparison is restricted to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the audience.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are lots of "another thread"s in which to look.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to take it up with Doe.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: I just told you: to calibrate what you preach.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that people aim their fire extinguisher at the bottom of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, you're a certifiable net.kook.

Play:

Say: Who else are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you really want to hang out with the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section! That's your problem.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe did.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to accept my own question. It was Doe, and now you, that have posted responses that have posted responses that have nothing to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been discussing the issue that I rode in on the wrong person. Interesting that you are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of strikes.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you how to get from you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being one or both.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the length, yet the two pieces to which I made comparisons are both longer.

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of those uses have been in response to my posting that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you allegedly speaking for when you say "we've"?

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant to the world that you are mistaken, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play: