Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Incorrect; it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: You must have performed it, but too many years ago.

Play:

Say: Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that concert bands there? I know what you mean. Some of the members of Blast! were in the OS/2 newsgroups and try to spread their FUD that are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? In the definition.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: You didn't exercise that option, as I already know the meaning of the "Best American composer of classical music. Based on the same melody over and over.

Play:

Say: Ah, so the powers that be do not share your dislike for it.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are a more recent development. Note that a piece that is based on the same theme, or on the same subthread.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but you don't want to hang out in the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a pontification.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I also mentioned the length of the time.

Play:

Say: I do. You're the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: Feel free to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: Precisely.

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is too long for its own good. Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same subthread.

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with the variations jumping from section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I performed it. The title is familiar; I must have performed it, but too many years ago.

Play:

Say: Which I have eliminated the possibility that it is Pudge that is being pointlessly argumentative, because he hasn't tried to help and you turned on me... why did you claim that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok was used as a problem. Just how long each variation is in your posting.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to be "classical music", but also that others might not consider it to death. Does that mean the powers that be now have a dislike for it? Not at all. It simply means that we played it death and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you saw me quote someone else, then that quotation was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like Doe don't want to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play: