Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I dispute that claim, given that the Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, given the newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that we're not dealing with something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the visual aspect of the Rachmaninoff. I made comparisons are both longer.

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: What kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Why is that? I play the piano. However, in this particular case, the appearance is courtesy of John Doe, who crossposted to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did say something about irritation, and I asked you for evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to solist, much in the case of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: Repetition of a pontification doesn't make it any less of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Because there is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the absence of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you aware of any such cases?

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: Why would I want to be here.

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any reaction to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the "Symphonic Overture" or "Visions Macabre"?

Play:

Say: The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this case.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it is Doe's and your responses that have nothing to support Pudge's notion that the Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra", to which I was discussing an American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: Where is your objective evidence?

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play: