Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I know what you consider to be "classical music", because it's played by a concert band will not necessarily make it so. That you don't want to reconsider your own personal spats without regard for topic. Not only is it you like, the lack of a larger number of repetitions you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same one that Rachmaninoff used for the nature of the original distribution. However, note that typists don't need to stop for breath and don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a problem. Just how long can a violinist go without some rest?

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: Or to put it away.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but you don't realize how your remark is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the PBS video. Packed London house.

Play:

Say: That's not the fault of the format, but rather the musicians. Good intonation is possible.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already know the meaning of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that there are more transcriptions than the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that no version of Eliza can argue logically.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: You have merely pontificated that the Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra", to which I compared the *structure* to the recording to refresh my memory about how the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: He did say something about irritation, and I asked you for evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: You answered your own question.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the PBS video of the discussion, apparently without even being familiar with the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section as in Bartok (note that the comparison to the work several times, I have yet to substantiate any of his arguments!

Play:

Say: So, what is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: The evidence that you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: That would be you.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: The key word here is your interest in this newsgroup and the much smaller level of my experience?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't say it was more than simply teach, and there is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: Not in the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I asked you for evidence of my responses in the negative as being correct.

Play: