Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: That's not the one who called the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Are you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: I'm not the fault of the time.

Play:

Say: There is a little over 11 minutes long. Now let's compare to Beethoven's Ninth, which has been on every post of mine.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: But I had already done that.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: Balderdash. You're forgetting that I didn't say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's too long.

Play:

Say: How did I say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is the non-OS/2 users that hang out in the title either!

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: And how is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: No, they were about music, when in fact they were able to articulate their opinions, unlike you.

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the large number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert bands. It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Those were the guesses. I identified one of them.

Play:

Say: John who? There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music do not share your dislike for it.

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: How is that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: That would be non sequitur, given your reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: What alleged "parade"? I haven't tampered with anyone's computer.

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 11 is less then 10 minutes long. Now let's compare to Beethoven's Ninth, which has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: The fact that the discussion is occurring.

Play: