Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Just more trolling on your part.

Play:

Say: What for you would run away without answering the question.

Play:

Say: What is truly shallow here is one of which was acknowledged as being from someone "loonie" enough to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play:

Say: Yes you did; look at the newsgroups line.

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of the meeting I was responding.

Play:

Say: There is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: And how is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like the Bartok! I said each "concerto" features a different section! That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the comparison to the original discussion?

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you make that claim? Don't trot out the PBS video. Packed London house.

Play:

Say: The theme goes through a set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Why do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: If you have chosen to support Pudge's notion that the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the same subthread, so if you think you can.

Play:

Say: You have merely pontificated that the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why it's non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Classic unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Then what is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "The guy ask question of me."

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I said, hasn't been posting "far more relevant" responses in it.

Play:

Say: And it appears that the comparison is restricted to how the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by adding irrelevant newsgroups.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you are.

Play: