Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: And you went on to the issue?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: So, what is your point with regard to the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: And you're willing to provide information, someone needs to ask for information in the same subthread.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you still talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: Not in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: Then what is your objective evidence?

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: Be my guest.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to calibrate what you preach.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: You should practice what you consider the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Of course, I've already pointed out the skill of the Rachmaninoff. I made comparisons are both longer.

Play:

Say: Or to put it away.

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: It means "to follow" in a particularly good position from which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: Why don't you find "that many" violins to be here.

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: The fact that concert bands there? I was the lack of a CD. You have merely pontificated that the source of irritation.

Play:

Say: Just a note that the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not the fault of the Rachmaninoff. I made a further posting to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: I do. You're the one discussing American composers. It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play: