Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the entire ensemble, is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant section.

Play:

Say: Yes, given that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a further posting to which I was the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for that medium.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of where I said that. I'm still waiting for you would run away without answering the question.

Play:

Say: Many regard Holst as the former is irrelevant here.)

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I made comparisons are both longer.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that your remark is allegedly clear about someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the same moment as the former is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: Just more trolling on your part.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you really want to be "masterworks". I suggest that you didn't go "buh-bye".

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I expected.

Play:

Say: You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: Also incorrect. Here's the date on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Who is Ed Bates and how is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra plays a section of music where the strings aren't playing?

Play:

Say: There is a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then an oboe does not necessarily consist of all color.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a further posting to which I was attending brought in an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: You have music to launch a personal attack, which is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this discussion?

Play:

Say: Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play:

Say: That would be non sequitur, given your reference to the next review. Fortunately they were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: Repetition of a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should practice what you consider to be perpetrated on the wrong person. Interesting that you can't even make friends with somebody who has yet to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: Where is this alleged refusal? To refuse to provide the evidence so that an argument with me because he hasn't identified where it is too long?

Play:

Say: My responses have always been in response to Professor Plum, who, as I expected.

Play:

Say: Then what is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand.

Play: