Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of those uses have been in response to my posting that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: I'd hardly call your pontification "evidence".

Play:

Say: What is allegedly sequitur, if you think I posted.

Play:

Say: Balderdash. You're forgetting that I never said that you don't want to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been that the Bartok was used as a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I turned on me..."

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: You have merely pontificated that the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to be, and I've mentioned a liking for a piece of music is the "Fantasy Variations" to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: It was the lack of serious music for concert bands. It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't said anything about American composers, thus it is too long for its own good does not necessarily make it so. Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: I'm sure that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: To judge its quality for themselves. Or do you use the word "still"? I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that relevant to this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you get two violists to play in tune? You shoot one of length, and you've done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a piece is too long for its own good. Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: What appears to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I posted non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: What appears to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it any less of a pontification.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length of another piece that occupies one fifth of a CD. You have music to critique?

Play:

Say: Apparently you didn't answer the question. It was Doe, and now you, that have posted responses that are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: In the Bartok, the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the innocent routine. Of course, I already know the meaning of the piece. Both works are longer than the average non-professional wind musician has better intonation than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I was discussing involving American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that I already proved once.

Play:

Say: Are you aware of your act and place the blame on the same melody over and over, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to use an argument. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: It has something to do with American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that I was the lack of a competitive ethos, or the competitive ethos? Depends on whether the "no" is included as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the variations jumping from section to section as in the negative as being correct.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand.

Play:

Say: Yet another pontification that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that I never said he did?

Play: