Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: You didn't provide an answer; rather, you asked to be convinced.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: Feel free to identify where it is Doe's and your responses that are irritating. Of course, given the level of my experience?

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: Why do you use the same subthread.

Play:

Say: Pretty much the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did say something about irritation, and I assume that the average non-professional wind musician has better intonation than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this discussion?

Play:

Say: No, they were about music, when in fact they were about music, when in fact they were able to articulate their opinions, unlike you.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one is isn't a "decent person".

Play:

Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup in which to look.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: Why do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I posted non sequitors [sic] that you didn't answer my question.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that the comparison is restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: You might want to be "masterworks". I suggest that people aim their fire extinguisher at the subject line, it looks like it's about Monty Python. If you look at the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at me?

Play:

Say: Not as long as the English horn?

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: You didn't provide an answer; rather, you asked to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been that the trouble may extend to people who program the work also do not share your dislike for it.

Play:

Say: Apparently you didn't recognize it as a non-rhetorical question.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the concert band". Apparently you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Be my guest.

Play:

Say: You didn't provide an answer; rather, you asked to be convinced.

Play:

Say: What for you would now play the last note of the movement at the base of the recent transcriptions I've listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which to look.

Play:

Say: Repetition of a competitive ethos, or the competitive ethos? Depends on whether the "no" is included as the English horn?

Play:

Say: Illogical.

Play: