Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, I do understand.

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like Doe don't want to advertise to the set of variations was in the comparison to the latter, as the former is irrelevant to this discussion because that's dealing with something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I rode in on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: How is that relevant to the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody".

Play:

Say: You should practice what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others aren't aware of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I never said that a piece is too long?

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play:

Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: That would be you.

Play:

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Of course, I'm willing to provide the evidence that you are mistaken over and over.

Play:

Say: There is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: The key word here is "if".

Play:

Say: Apparently you didn't go "buh-bye".

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody".

Play:

Say: No, he isn't. Is that how you ignored the evidence that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of Bolero, not a concert band arrangement.

Play: