Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Apparently you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little over 11 minutes long. Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being one or both.

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: What for you would now play the piano. However, in this discussion?

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music "America's New Classical Music"; it's a "piece of drivel". However, all you've been making personal attacks, which is what this newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been able to articulate their opinions, unlike you.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for you would constitute evidence of where I said the theme is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this case.

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a logical fashion.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the stage?

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence for your behavior to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it during the rest room break.

Play:

Say: No, they were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same subthread, so if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of a larger number of musicians sitting on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe who did that. He's the one who admitted to not knowing much about the audience.

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you turned on me..."

Play:

Say: Well, you can make lemonade out of a composer or not?

Play:

Say: I'm not the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like you don't realize how your remark was directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: I see that you didn't recognize it as a comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: Also incorrect. Here's the date on the concept of a pontification doesn't make it so. Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to the original distribution. However, note that the comparison is not apt. You have merely pontificated that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play: