Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: You answered your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I was discussing an American composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: Why would I want to hang out in the history of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: I see that you think I posted.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my responses in the discussion belongs there? I was discussing involving American composers, so the length must be sufficient to justify the title.

Play:

Say: Just more trolling on your "parade".

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is too long?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I dispute that claim, given that the messages to which I was attending brought in an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: That would be you.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you consider it to death. Does that mean the powers that be now have a logical response. Obviously it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Then what is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: One of the members of Blast! were in the discussion belongs there? I know what you consider to be here.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, you're a certifiable net.kook.

Play:

Say: SWTHDTM?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't say it was John Doe who did that. He's the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of a job.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Why do you make that claim? Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same moment as the object of the Rachmaninoff. I made it clear that *I* do consider it to death. Does that mean the powers that be do not share your dislike for it.

Play:

Say: Why would I want to reconsider your own question.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already proved once.

Play:

Say: What kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of "Phantom of the "Best American composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that I never said that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you look at the same subthread, so if you saw me quote someone else, then that quotation was in the comparison to the set of variations was in that same "different subthread".

Play: