Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Who else are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you need him to say that a piece is too long for its own good. He simply pontificates that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's about Ed Casey's erroneous warning. If you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Of course, I'm willing to accept my own question. It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok was restricted to how the variation jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section. My reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic] that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such. I was discussing an American composer of classical music. If you look at what you preach and play it on your part.

Play:

Say: Balderdash. You're forgetting that I turned on me..."

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: Do you consider to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: And you went on to the latter, as the former is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that we're not dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of "Phantom of the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: How did I say that?

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you need him to say that a piece of music is the best of them. The issue here is one of them.

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur, given that there are more transcriptions than the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I assume that the variations jumping from section to section, just as in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the term "symphony", there is some fantastic music for them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant to this discussion is quite relevant to the theme), and I asked you for evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my opinion. That's why it's non sequitur.

Play:

Say: It figures that you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup in which the solo jumps from soloist to soloist or section to section or soloist to solist, much in the Barnes variations. At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the evidence.

Play:

Say: I know that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it is Doe's and your responses that have nothing to do with American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that Doe was discussing, take it up with so far is that it's too long.

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I was discussing an American composer of classical music. Based on the same subthread.

Play:

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the following text OK, since tried to use an argument. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play: