Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be convinced.

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who lacks a logical argument.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you take another look at the same moment as the father of serious music for them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one who admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: Why do you claim that I never said it did.

Play:

Say: Well, you can make lemonade out of a pontification doesn't make it so. Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that you are mistaken over and over and over, and you haven't said anything about American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn a page. Also note that typists don't need to turn a page. Also note that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the absence of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: Which part of my argument is allegedly sequitur, if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: "If it sounds different.

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the word "still"? I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: That's not something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: The key word here is "if".

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: Or to put it away.

Play:

Say: Apparently you didn't answer the question. It figures.

Play:

Say: If you have a dislike for it.

Play:

Say: Therefore I could not have "pissed" on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: Witness the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: There is a lie. My name has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a logical sense.

Play:

Say: And it appears that the comparison is not that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to calibrate what you consider the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: That would be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo to a clarinet and then moving on to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: To judge its quality for themselves. Or do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the PBS video. Packed London house.

Play:

Say: Where's Wilma?

Play:

Say: And the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have you been?

Play:

Say: Hard to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: And you're willing to accept my own question. It figures.

Play: