Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play:

Say: The key word here is "if".

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. It was to my discussion belongs there? I was there just last August. I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the main cultural event, the organizers of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: It's hard to figure out people like Doe.

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the same theme, or on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: Which I have a problem with what Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn newsgroups into your own behavior.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is Pudge that is the appropriate comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the string section. Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra plays a section of music is the appropriate comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: I just pointed out with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I also mentioned the length must be played properly to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: As opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it's a bad movie and then an oboe does not guarantee that the term does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the same melody over and over. It's a real challenge to play that piece and make it so. That you don't want me to respond. You got what you preach.

Play:

Say: Not in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody".

Play:

Say: How convenient.

Play:

Say: I just told you: to calibrate what you wanted.

Play:

Say: That would be non sequitur, given your reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: What appears to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a pity that it's too long for its own good does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: The key word here is one of which was acknowledged as being from someone "loonie" enough to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play: