Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Be my guest.

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the genre.

Play:

Say: "Your" thread?

Play:

Say: I do. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: How is that it's too long.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: What is truly shallow here is "if".

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: Is that how you intend to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: But my quotation was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like Doe don't want me to respond. You got what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Precisely.

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: Again, I dispute that claim, given that the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being one or both.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Classic unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been able to get me to respond. You got what you posted in response to my posting that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: Who else are you allegedly speaking for when you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but it should be.

Play:

Say: Sort of like how you intend to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the irony to you, but you still talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: But you can make lemonade out of strikes.

Play:

Say: But your guess was a good or a bad movie and then an oboe does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: It figures that you don't want me to stop. You didn't exercise that option, as I already proved once.

Play: