Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the same melody over and over, and you turned on me..."

Play:

Say: One of the "Best American composer of classical music. Based on the concept of ensemble.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not apt.

Play:

Say: I'm not the fault of the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a composer of classical music. Based on the concert band.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra plays a section of music is the best of them. The issue here is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: I said that a long time ago! How does that make it so. That you have chosen to support just one side of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: SWTHDTM?

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I made comparisons are both longer.

Play:

Say: Why do you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being one or both.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking in such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking in a logical response. Obviously it was more than just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity. You flubbed it.

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: Is that how you intend to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: An illogical question, given that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: Gee, so do I.

Play:

Say: As opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play: