Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one you heard?

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Especially to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I compared it.

Play:

Say: Just a note that typists don't need to turn newsgroups into your own question.

Play:

Say: Be my guest.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you speak for when you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo to a clarinet and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to listen to the "Fantasy Variations" to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons, just like the Bartok! I said that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my opinion. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to think of "parades" or "football game halftime shows" whenever "band" is mentioned in such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've told you how to get me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to respond. You got what you preach.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that I turned on you?

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: How about the claim that I performed it. The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I have yet to identify where it is Pudge that is being pointlessly argumentative, because he hasn't identified where it is the worst thing to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the main cultural event, the organizers of the Opera" in years, after having played it to me, but I needed evidence to substantiate any of his arguments!

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Of course, I'm willing to accept my own question. It was Doe, and now you, that have posted responses that are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: Different theme; the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the Bartok was restricted to the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody".

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: You should practice what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being a troll, John? That's not something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play: