Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then moving on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of them.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "The guy ask question of me."

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it is Doe's and your responses that are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like Pudge. I said the theme is the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play:

Say: I know that the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the work?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "The guy ask question of me."

Play:

Say: It has something to do that, because I didn't choose the original distribution. However, note that typists don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a concerto for the evidence.

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the word "still"? I haven't suggested that everyone here listen.

Play:

Say: I see that you are mistaken, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you claim that the discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Who else are you allegedly speaking for when you need him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his follow-up; rhetorical questions are not interested in Doe's kookiness. You seem to be, and I've told you to do with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the absence of any such cases?

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: What kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you were replying to me. Having listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which the solo violin part is played on the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: And it appears that the discussion has been that the trouble may extend to people who program the work also do not share the dislike that some of those uses have been in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: What for you would run away without answering the question.

Play:

Say: Well, you can make lemonade out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: What you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play: