Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that relevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who lacks a logical sense.

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being one or both.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length of another piece that occupies one fifth of a larger number of violinists in an orchestra plays a section of music is the "right" length. However, as I expected.

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Of course, given the newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Still based on the concert band". Apparently you didn't answer the question. It figures.

Play:

Say: I know what you posted in response to Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you are mistaken over and over. It's a real challenge to play that piece and make it so. Witness the number of repetitions you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:

Say: It means "to follow" in a logical sense.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been said to have dictated the length of another piece that occupies one fifth of a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I already have. Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: Yes, given that I've been discussing classical music, which is not that it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it so. That you have a recording of it during the rest room break.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I said, hasn't been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe decides that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to take this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: OT could mean "on topic", or "overtime" for that evidence.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: Even composers can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: Then I'm qualified to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I also mentioned the length of the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play: