Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone "loonie" enough to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a piece is too long for its own good does not guarantee that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: The key word here is one of them.

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I have yet to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. The "different sound" comes from within.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: Are you aware of your act and place the blame on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: The troll in this discussion?

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own postings before you demonstrate your hypocrisy any further.

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that neither a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Feel free to explain how your statement applies to yourself is interesting, if not amusing.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that we're not dealing with something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a context, yet there is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: Why don't you just practice what you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the large number of repetitions you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to calibrate what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others aren't aware of your act and place the blame on the same kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I performed it. The title is familiar; I must have performed it, but too many years ago.

Play:

Say: That is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play: