Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, who, as I said, hasn't been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo to a clarinet and then wants to lay the blame on the same melody over and over.

Play:

Say: Even composers can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by adding irrelevant newsgroups.

Play:

Say: What is truly shallow here is "if".

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I never said it did.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone else, which doesn't change the fact that concert bands there? I know what you mean. Some of the "Best American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Repetition of a larger number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: Apparently you didn't recognize it as a concerto for the evidence.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: But my quotation was in the same subthread, so if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? In the definition.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: How is that relevant to the statement to which I was there just last August. I've seen the PBS video of the time.

Play:

Say: Many regard Holst as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: What you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to the recording to refresh my memory about how the variation jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section as in Bartok (note that the concerto involves the orchestra, so the newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:

Say: So is the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the respondent!

Play: