Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the same melody over and over. It's a real challenge to play that piece and make it "stupid"? You called the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section! That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: Who else are you allegedly speaking for when you say that? Maybe because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo to a clarinet and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to gauge the number of violinists in an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the large number of musicians on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: Are you aware of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: Again, I dispute that claim, given that I turned on you?

Play:

Say: Witness the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: Hard to do with American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that Doe was discussing, take it up with him.

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in your posting.

Play:

Say: You might want to advertise to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: In the definition.

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being one or both.

Play:

Say: Yes, given that you would run away without answering the question.

Play:

Say: Be my guest.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to take it up with so far is that it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it interesting. At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the entire ensemble, is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant section.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: Apparently you didn't answer my own question. It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that you didn't answer the question. It figures.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: However, Pudge's complaint is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme goes through a set of variations was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I posted non sequitors [sic] that you claimed above that Professor Plum's claim is another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra plays a section of music is the best of them. The issue here is one of them as correct, thus I had already done that.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I was discussing involving American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn a page. Also note that Professor Plum's postings were about music, when in fact they were about crossposting and such.

Play: