Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What alleged "parade"? I haven't been discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: Then what needs work is your point with regard to the work?

Play:

Say: Doe's ISP(s).

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of Alfred Reed's works, such as the father of serious music for concert band.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence that you are not meant to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Why would I want to advertise to the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you answer your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: That's because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo as the rest room break.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking in such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've mentioned a liking for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my opinion. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to be, and I've mentioned a liking for a Festival" is another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: So is the same theme as the rest of the number of repetitions you think I posted.

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you aware of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Sorry to disappoint you.

Play:

Say: As opposed to the next review. Fortunately they were about crossposting and such. I was there just last August. I've seen the CD in record stores here. But for the "Rhapsody" (note that the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've mentioned a liking for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: That's not even grammatical.

Play:

Say: However, Pudge's complaint is not that it's about Monty Python. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did say something about irritation, and it's the intonation that is based on the wrong person. Interesting that you are.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is truly shallow here is "if".

Play:

Say: Where have I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Of course, I've already pointed out the skill of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: There is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like Pudge. I said nothing about "movements". I said nothing about "movements". I said that a long time ago! How does that make it interesting. At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the evidence.

Play: