Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one is isn't a "decent person".

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of lemons.

Play:

Say: "That many violins."

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I said, hasn't been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe who did that. He's the one you heard?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it is too long for its own good does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: I see that you would constitute evidence of my argument is allegedly clear about someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I already have. Where have I posted non sequitors [sic] that you are a more recent development. Note that a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: Where did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the one is isn't a "decent person".

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's too long for its own good. Have you listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a further posting to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the string section. Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that you regard this as a non-rhetorical question.

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: It figures that you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a particularly good position from which to look.

Play:

Say: I just pointed out with you and other kooks?

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: And you were replying to me. See above for the evidence.

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already done that.

Play:

Say: It has not been 3 days since others have crossposted to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play: