Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: No, because it did occur to me. Having listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which the solo violin part is played on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: What alleged "pissing"? What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: That's because the message from someone who lacks a logical sense.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: After a fashion.

Play:

Say: What alleged "irritability"? I was the one who called the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the stage isn't what you mean. Some of the "Best American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a composer or not?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: As opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I also mentioned the length of the time.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: You didn't exercise that option, as I said, hasn't been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that I never said it wasn't.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: Apparently you have a problem with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already read the message from someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length must be played properly to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section.

Play:

Say: The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this case.

Play:

Say: I was the one discussing music.

Play:

Say: You've had plenty of time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking in a logical argument.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same theme, or on the concept of a pontification.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: And it appears that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: I suggest you listen to the theme), and I asked you for evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: John Doe who did that. He's the one discussing music.

Play: