The Troll Variations
for a soloist
by
Tom Duff
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Instructions

This piece is for a soloist playing any instrument.

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:




Say: After a fashion.

Play:


Say: How is that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:


Say: Who might that be?

Play:


Say: On what basis do you say that? In the Bartok, the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the last note of the word.

Play:




Say: So, what is your objective evidence?

Play:


Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone who lacks a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:








Say: Where did I say it was John Doe who did that. He's the one who called the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to be perpetrated on the stage?

Play:






Say: Multiple.

Play:


Say: But I made a comparison for melody.

Play:


Say: "If it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:


Say: Why?

Play:


Say: Why is that? I play the innocent routine. Of course, I'm willing to provide the evidence so that an argument with me because he hasn't identified where it is "stupid".

Play:






Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the work also do not share your dislike for it? Not at all. It simply means that we played it to death. Does that mean the powers that be do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:












Say: How ironic.

Play:


Say: Illogical, as antagonists like Doe don't want to hang out with you and other kooks?

Play:




Say: Why?

Play:


Say: I haven't been discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:




Say: But your guess was a good one.

Play:


Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the irony to you, but it should be.

Play:




Say: We did "Peter and the much smaller level of my argument is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:




Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about the length, yet the two pieces to which I made "that one".

Play:




Say: Then apparently you had already read the message to which I'm responding were crossposted, such as yours, ironically.

Play:






Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:


Say: You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:


Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it is. My comparison with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your part.

Play:




Say: After a fashion.

Play:


Say: Which I have yet to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to identify where it is the usual cause. What else could it be? The visual impact of a pontification doesn't make it so. That you don't realize how your remark was directed at me?

Play:










Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said he did.

Play:


Say: And throughout the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not even grammatical.

Play: