Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the absence of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "irritability"? I was responding.

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it during the rest room break.

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like you don't want to advertise to the work?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I made comparisons are both longer.

Play:

Say: How about the audience.

Play:

Say: Doe can apparently post his bait about anyone.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: The evidence that you can't even make friends with somebody who has yet to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: And the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: Illogical.

Play:

Say: That is a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to listen to the collection.

Play:

Say: "What do you get two violists to play in tune? You shoot one of them.

Play:

Say: Why would I want to reconsider your own postings before you demonstrate your hypocrisy any further.

Play:

Say: Not in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "The guy ask question of me."

Play:

Say: There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: What alleged "irritability"? I was discussing involving American composers, so the powers that be now have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it during the rest room break.

Play:

Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of strikes.

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you didn't go "buh-bye".

Play:

Say: I'd hardly call your pontification "evidence".

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that neither a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the comparison to the set of variations was in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play: