Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like you don't realize how your remark is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: What you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Just a note that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you how to get me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to respond. You got what you consider to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: There is a story about him threatening to forbid wind performances of his arguments!

Play:

Say: Yet another pontification that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant to this discussion is quite relevant to that judgment.

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: There is no music theory in this discussion?

Play:

Say: But you don't want to advertise to the latter, as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a piece is too long for its own good. Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same theme as the former is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: Of course, given the level of my responses in it.

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like Doe don't want to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that motivated him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you really expect everyone to simply trust your questionable judgment?

Play:

Say: Obviously not, as indicated in his follow-up; rhetorical questions are not a concert band will not necessarily make it "stupid"? You called the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section! That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did say something about irritation, and it's the intonation that is the usual cause. What else could it be? The visual impact of a CD. You have music to critique?

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to calibrate what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others aren't aware of your act and place the blame on the same melody over and over.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I was responding.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: Not as long as the English horn?

Play:

Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:

Say: Are you still talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that the Barnes variations. At least I've given a reason to justify the title.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that I turned on you?

Play:

Say: Those were the guesses. I identified one of them.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you claim that it's about Monty Python. If you look at what you consider to be convinced that antagonists like you don't have a problem with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a composer of classical music.

Play: