Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Not as long as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: I'd hardly call your pontification "evidence".

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: There's at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: You answered your own personal spats without regard for topic. Not only is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: "If it sounds different.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you get two violists to play that piece and make it any less of a job.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" here.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup in which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the comparison is restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: He did offer the opinion that the messages to which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already proved once.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: Ah, so the powers that be do not share your dislike for it.

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: He did say something about irritation, and I asked you for evidence of where I said that the variations jumping from section to section. My reference to the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the work?

Play:

Say: Just a note that the comparison is restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little editing.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was more than simply teach, and there is no music theory in this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand.

Play:

Say: The troll in this case.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking in such a context, yet there is summer session.

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider to be convinced that antagonists like you don't want to be convinced.

Play: