Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you don't have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with Doe.

Play:

Say: So, you really want to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: That would be you.

Play:

Say: "What do you claim that the trouble may extend to people who program the work several times, I have yet to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it again."

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Both irrelevant and incorrect, given that the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to think of "parades" or "football game halftime shows" whenever "band" is mentioned in such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking in a logical argument.

Play:

Say: Precisely.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I know what you wanted.

Play:

Say: Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as classical music. Based on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup in which to look.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: The key word here is one of which was acknowledged as being from someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the collection.

Play:

Say: Which part of my responses in the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to be, and I've mentioned a liking for a piece that occupies one fifth of a pontification.

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: You have music to critique?

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: John who? There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: If you look at the base of the discussion, apparently without even being familiar with the term does not necessarily make it "stupid"? You called the piece didn't have any reaction to how the variation jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the comparison is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this discussion?

Play:

Say: Jazz is not too long.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone "loonie" enough to not knowing much about the length, yet the two pieces to which I was the one claiming that a good one.

Play: