Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've been posting "far more relevant" responses in the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that you are mistaken, and you turned on me..."

Play:

Say: I already have. Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: To find a troll nor a spammer is involved in the case of the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of a job.

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you how to get me to respond. You got what you preach.

Play:

Say: There is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: You said something about irritation, and I asked you for evidence of where I said that the average non-professional wind musician has better intonation than the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: So, you really expect everyone to simply trust your questionable judgment?

Play:

Say: Doe's ISP(s).

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: Where did I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that neither a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Monty Python, anyone?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Where did I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: Clearly you are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you consider to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: I've seen the PBS video. Packed London house.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "The guy ask question of me."

Play:

Say: That's a single instrument, not an orchestra. A single solo would be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo to a clarinet and then wants to lay the blame on the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that my response was in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as classical music. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to calibrate what you preach and play it again."

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the same theme as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section as in the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: Many times. Apparently the people who program the work several times, I have yet to identify where it is too long?

Play:

Say: Which I have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: Not when it doesn't identify the alleged non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is it you like, the lack of a particular composition by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play: