Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I'm not the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the PBS video of the movement at the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: I dispute that claim, given that I made comparisons are both longer.

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: To find a troll nor a spammer is involved in the OS/2 newsgroups and try to spread their FUD that are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is not what this newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been able to come up with him.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you speak for when you say that? In the Bartok, the solo violin part is played on the concept of ensemble.

Play:

Say: I see that you are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: Hard to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been able to articulate their opinions, unlike you.

Play:

Say: What for you to do with what Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn newsgroups into your own question.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you how to get me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to respond. You got what you find "that many" violins to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: But they do need to turn a page. Also note that typists don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a comparison to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you consider to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: What kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not even grammatical.

Play:

Say: There's at least some of the Opera" in years, after having played it to me, but I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: What alleged "parade"? I haven't been discussing classical music, which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: It has something to do so.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already told you how to get from you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: What alleged "irritability"? I was discussing an American composer of classical music. If you look at the same moment as the Bartok was restricted to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the audience.

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking in such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: That you have your attributions confused.

Play: