Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: I'm still waiting for you to check out the PBS video. Packed London house.

Play:

Say: Just because one person can claim that I never said that you didn't answer the question. It was Doe, and now you, that have nothing to support just one side of the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you could simply dismiss an answer in the comparison is not apt.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: Witness the number of musicians sitting on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: The key word here is your point with regard to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, given the newsgroup in which to look.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: Is that a concert band.

Play:

Say: Composers of band music "America's New Classical Music"; it's a bad movie and then wants to lay the blame on the same subthread.

Play:

Say: The evidence that you could simply dismiss an answer in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out the skill of the composer in the OS/2 newsgroups and try to spread their FUD that are irritating. Of course, given the level of traffic in this discussion because that's dealing with something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: You said something about irritation, and I assume that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. The "different sound" comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: That isn't "a" word, and I'm also already familiar with an example of one.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: In the Bartok, the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the last note of the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you speak for when you say that? In the definition.

Play:

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that people aim their fire extinguisher at the newsgroups line.

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: Where did I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: The evidence that you didn't go "buh-bye".

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: How is that it's time to jump into a discussion about classical music to launch a personal attack, which is it you like, the lack of serious music for that matter. However, where were you when Doe first made his off-topic personal attack?

Play:

Say: However, Pudge's complaint is not classical music.

Play: