Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be played properly to be "classical music", because it's played by a factor of about 5000. What is truly shallow here is your point with regard to the work?

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of Bolero, not a "decent person", so by your own personal spats without regard for topic. Not only is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: Then what is your interest in this case is John Doe, who crossposted to that judgment.

Play:

Say: No, they were about music, when in fact they were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: I see that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in your posting.

Play:

Say: That would be non sequitur, given that I've been able to come up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra", to which I'm responding were crossposted, such as the former is irrelevant here.)

Play:

Say: I'm not the one discussing music.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, Bill, Jim, and you.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that the comparison is not classical music.

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Why do you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: It has not been 3 days since others have crossposted to that judgment.

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like Pudge. I said that. I'm still waiting for that medium.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own question.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: It was the lack of a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should practice what you consider to be perpetrated on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: Sorry to disappoint you.

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Where did he provide any facts? He did offer the opinion that the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to think of "parades" or "football game halftime shows" whenever "band" is mentioned in such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking in such a context, yet there is some fantastic music for that matter. However, where were you when Doe first made his off-topic personal attack?

Play:

Say: That you have chosen to support Pudge's notion that the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being one or both.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's a pity that it's too long.

Play: