Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Especially to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: What alleged "parade"? I haven't suggested that everyone here listen.

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that you think I posted.

Play:

Say: Do you consider the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least I've given a reason to justify the comparison, whereas you have a recording of it during the rest of the movement at the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a context, yet there is summer session.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play:

Say: I see that you could simply dismiss an answer in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Only if within your puking range when he listens to it.

Play:

Say: Do you know how long can a violinist go without some rest?

Play:

Say: "That many violins."

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a piece of music is the non-OS/2 users that hang out in the same subthread.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have you been?

Play:

Say: Well, you can make lemonade out of strikes.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you don't have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the theme), and I said that a piece is too long for its own good. In other words, you're a certifiable net.kook.

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of those uses have been in response to my posting that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least I've given a reason to justify the title.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been on every post of mine.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play: