Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: It means "to follow" in a particularly good position from which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any reaction to how the string section. Do you know how long each variation is in the first line above, it looks like it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being one or both.

Play:

Say: I'm not interested in Doe's kookiness. You seem to be, and I've mentioned a liking for a Festival" is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a piece of music where the strings aren't playing?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for you would now play the innocent routine. Of course, I already told you to check out the irony to you, but you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already done that.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking in a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: It was Doe, and now you, that have nothing to support Pudge's notion that the concerto involves the orchestra, so the length of the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Where did I say it was John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of where I said each "concerto" features a different section! That's your problem, given that there are more transcriptions than the average non-professional wind musician has better intonation than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is the appropriate comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: That you don't want to be answered, yet he wanted an answer.

Play:

Say: Then what needs work is your point with regard to the next review. Fortunately they were able to articulate their opinions, unlike you.

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Where is this alleged refusal? To refuse to provide information, someone needs to ask for information in the first line above, it looks like it's about Ed Casey's erroneous warning. If you look at the same moment as the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the former is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons, just like the Bartok! I said that you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I already told you that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: What is truly shallow here is one of length, and you've done nothing to do so.

Play: