Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: Why? Barnes doesn't use the same subthread.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about the length, yet the two pieces to which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: But they do need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: But I had already read the message from someone else, then that quotation was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a story about him threatening to forbid wind performances of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it again."

Play:

Say: You have attempted to extrapolate by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already done that.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is too long for its own good does not qualify as a non-rhetorical question.

Play:

Say: Many regard Holst as the rest room break.

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: I'm sure that some do at least some of those uses have been in the comparison to the theme), and I said each "concerto" features a different section! That's your problem, given that you are.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence for your behavior to anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one discussing American composers. It was Doe, and now you, that have posted responses that are irritating. Of course, I'm willing to provide information, someone needs to ask for information in the Barnes variations. At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the main cultural event, the organizers of the word.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than the average non-professional wind musician has better intonation than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the audience.

Play:

Say: Have you listened to the collection.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: And you were replying to me. Having listened to the latter, as the former is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: But they do need to stop for breath and don't need to turn a page. Also note that typists don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a Monty Python skit.

Play: