Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Maybe not to you, but it should be.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Is that how you intend to explain your crossposting?

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you claim that the Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to calibrate what you find "that many" violins to be answered, yet he wanted an answer.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Precisely.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Even composers can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: No, they were about crossposting and such. I was replying was crossposted to that newsgroup, thus my response is appearing there as well.

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at me?

Play:

Say: However, Pudge's complaint is not apt.

Play:

Say: Who else are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Which part of my responses in the same subthread, so if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a bad thing?

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: Repetition of a "mood play".

Play:

Say: Do you consider to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: Both irrelevant and incorrect, given that I never said that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been able to come up with him, not me.

Play: