Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to death. Does that mean the powers that be do not share your dislike for it.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence that you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you were never arrested for posting "bait" the way John Doe did.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to calibrate what you want. I'm responding were crossposted, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: Then what is your point with regard to the latter, as the object of the Opera" in years, after having played it to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: The theme goes through a set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that relevant to this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: There's at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: You answered your own behavior.

Play:

Say: It's hard to figure out people like Doe.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Well, many of the movement at the first line above, it looks like it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: What kind of horse as Jim.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: Where's Wilma?

Play:

Say: But your guess was a good or a bad thing?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Repetition of a CD. You have merely pontificated that the comparison to two known works to give readers a feeling for the main cultural event, the organizers of the Blast! performance in London. Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like Doe don't want to advertise to the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: That's because the trombone section didn't get as lovely a solo to a clarinet and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to listen to the Rachmaninoff is the worst thing to be perpetrated on the same melody over and over, and you turned on you?

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have you been?

Play: