The Troll Variations
for a soloist
by
Tom Duff
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Instructions

This piece is for a soloist playing any instrument.

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Maybe not to you, but you still talking about "Bolero"?

Play:


Say: On the contrary, you asked to be "classical music", but also that others aren't aware of any such cases?

Play:




Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I expected.

Play:


Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:




Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:


Say: You're mixing comparisons, just like the Bartok! I said that the comparison is restricted to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:




Say: About John Doe.

Play:


Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I didn't choose the original distribution. However, note that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such.

Play:




Say: You could have, because I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:




Say: Gee, so do I.

Play:


Say: And you went on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of length, and you've done by Jim Curnow.

Play:




Say: Incorrect; my justification is that the average non-professional wind musician has better intonation than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:






Say: Where did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to be "masterworks".)

Play:




Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:




Say: About John Doe.

Play:


Say: Those were the guesses. I identified one of them.

Play:


Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being a troll, John? That's not even grammatical.

Play:




Say: You must have a dislike for it? Not at all. It simply means that we played it death and have it played by a factor of about 5000. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:






Say: On the contrary, you're the one you heard?

Play:


Say: That's your problem, given that universities do more than simply teach, and there is no such composition.

Play:




Say: Why is that? There are lots of "another thread"s in which to comment, are you?

Play:


Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who lacks a logical response. Obviously it was "good"?

Play:




Say: So is the best of them. The issue here is "if".

Play:


Say: Irrelevant, given that there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:




Say: Be my guest, if you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:




Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:


Say: Why don't you find "that many" violins to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:


Say: May I recommend some of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:




Say: What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "parade"? I haven't suggested that everyone here listen.

Play:






Say: Where did I say that?

Play: