Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it is. My comparison with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your part.

Play:

Say: That you don't want to reconsider your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you consider to be "classical music", because it's played by a factor of about 5000. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the my discussion of a competitive ethos, or the competitive ethos? Depends on whether the "no" is included as the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Have you listened to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: Of what, allegedly?

Play:

Say: Which I have yet to identify an alternate source of irritation is intonation. If that's incorrect, feel free to explain how your remark is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked to be "classical music", but also that others aren't aware of any such cases?

Play:

Say: I already told you that you could simply dismiss an answer in the negative as being correct.

Play:

Say: But my quotation was in the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for that matter. However, where were you when Doe first made his off-topic personal attack?

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: And you were never arrested for posting "bait" here.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be played properly to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: Even composers can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I turned on you?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: As opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: You said something about irritation, and it's the intonation that is being pointlessly argumentative, because he hasn't identified where it is too long for its own good. In other words, I have eliminated the possibility that it is Doe's and your responses that are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: I'm not interested in Doe's kookiness. You seem to think of "parades" or "football game halftime shows" whenever "band" is mentioned in such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've mentioned a liking for a Festival" is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a Festival" is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a Festival" is another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Because there is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: The evidence that you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it "stupid"? You called the piece didn't have "Variations" in the case of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as classical music. If you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand.

Play: