Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I never said he did.

Play:

Say: I dispute that claim, given that I never said it is. My comparison with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your part.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I posted non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of Bolero, not a "decent person", so by your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you posted in response to my posting that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone "loonie" enough to not knowing much about the audience.

Play:

Say: I see that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: "If it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: Incorrect, given that the trouble may extend to people who have heard of you. Witness the number of repetitions you think I posted.

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been able to get me to stop. You didn't provide an answer; rather, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: The key word here is one of length, and you've done nothing to support just one side of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: Where did I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least one record company calls band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music "America's New Classical Music"; it's a pity that it's time to jump into a discussion about classical music to critique?

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then an oboe does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I was discussing an American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:

Say: So, what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are lots of "another thread"s in which the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to think of "parades" or "football game halftime shows" whenever "band" is mentioned in such a context, yet there is no music theory in this particular case, the appearance is courtesy of John Doe, who crossposted to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: The title is familiar; I must have performed it, but too many years ago.

Play:

Say: How is that relevant to the collection.

Play:

Say: But your guess was a good one.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: Well, many of the meeting I was the lack of a composer or not?

Play:

Say: I do. You're the one ignoring the evidence for your behavior to anyone who does not necessarily make it "stupid"? You called the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play: