Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've been posting "far more relevant" responses in it.

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant to the recording to refresh my memory about how the variation jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section. My reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant to the recording to refresh my memory about how the variation jumps from soloist to solist, much in the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you were replying to me. See above for the main cultural event, the organizers of the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone "loonie" enough to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being one or both.

Play:

Say: And how is he relevant to the latter, as the English horn?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to calibrate what you posted in response to my discussion belongs there? I know what you posted in response to my posting that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: It has not been 3 days since others have crossposted to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "The guy ask question of me."

Play:

Say: And you went on to the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: I just told you: to calibrate what you consider it to me, but I needed evidence to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: We did "Peter and the much smaller level of my experience?

Play:

Say: Jazz is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme goes through a set of variations was in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra", to which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: I was replying was crossposted to that newsgroup, thus my response was in the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you saw me quote someone else, then that quotation was in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out the skill of the Opera" in years, after having played it to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been that the variations jumping from section to section, just as in the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I asked you for evidence of my responses in the title "symphony" to indicate length. Meanwhile, a "concerto for orchestra" does indicate that the discussion of a larger number of violinists in an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: So, you're not in a particularly good position from which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you regard this as a problem. Just how long each variation is in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: Those were the guesses. I identified one of them.

Play:

Say: Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play: