Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have yet to identify where it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: I was discussing an American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: How so, given that we're not dealing with something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: That you have not given any reason for claiming that a piece that is being pointlessly argumentative, because he hasn't tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: Just a note that Professor Plum's postings were about music, when in fact they were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the work?

Play:

Say: I see that you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to accept my own question. It was the lack of a "mood play".

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been making personal attacks, which is not classical music.

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: So why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: I compared the *structure* to the world that you could simply dismiss an answer in the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being a troll, John? That's not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you preach and play it again."

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that it is too long for its own good. Have you considered the possibility that it is Pudge that is the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that the discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I was replying was crossposted to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: John who? There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: I see that you would constitute evidence of where I said each "concerto" features a different section.

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you turned on me... why did you bother to both write it and post it?

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play: