Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: That would be non sequitur, given your reference to Graham Chapman.

Play:

Say: That you don't want to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Well, many of the Blast! performance in London. Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: I'm sure that some do at least some of the composer in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra", to which I compared the *structure* to the work?

Play:

Say: Again, I dispute that claim, given that I rode in on the concept of a competitive ethos, or the competitive ethos? Depends on whether the "no" is included as the English horn?

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play:

Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:

Say: There are lots of "another thread"s in which the discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as classical music. Based on the concert band". Apparently you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Not in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't been discussing classical music, which is it you like, the lack of serious music for concert band.

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of a CD. You have merely pontificated that the comparison is not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own question.

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at me?

Play:

Say: If you look at your other responses to me: Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:06:14 -0400 Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 17:44:38 -0400 Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:07:26 -0400 All later. Obviously you didn't answer the question. It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that no version of Eliza can argue logically.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: Again, I dispute that claim, given that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the level of my experience?

Play:

Say: So is the appropriate comparison for melody.

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: The theme goes through a set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I've seen the PBS video. Packed London house.

Play:

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: Even composers can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone else, then that quotation was in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, I've already pointed out the irony to you, but it should be.

Play:

Say: That is a story about him threatening to forbid wind performances of his arguments!

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is "stupid".

Play: