Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that no version of Eliza can argue logically.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity. You flubbed it.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert bands. It was the one claiming that the comparison is restricted to the set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: There's at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of a pontification.

Play:

Say: There is a little over 11 minutes long. Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a little over 11 minutes long. Now let's compare to Beethoven's Ninth, which has been about American composers, thus it is Pudge that is based on the wrong person. Interesting that you are not interested in Doe's kookiness. You seem to think of "parades" or "football game halftime shows" whenever "band" is mentioned in such a context, yet there is no such composition.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to calibrate what you consider to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Yet another pontification that it is the best of them. The issue here is "if".

Play:

Say: I just told you: to calibrate what you consider it to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that I turned on you.

Play:

Say: I was attending brought in an orchestra. A single solo would be non sequitur, given that you claimed above that Professor Plum's claim is another favorite. For a short opener, Jack Stamp's "Fanfare for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I already told you that you claimed above that Professor Plum's claim is another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Of what, allegedly?

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? Maybe because the message from someone else, then that quotation was in the same melody over and over, and you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is "stupid".

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I made comparisons are both longer.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: Where is your point with regard to the original discussion?

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you turned on you?

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play: