Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Or to put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you speak for when you need him to say that a good one.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do with American composers, so the powers that be do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the solo violin part is played on the respondent!

Play:

Say: That would be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo to a clarinet and then wants to lay the blame on the concept of a job.

Play:

Say: Repetition of a pontification doesn't make it so. That you have not given any reason for claiming that a piece that is based on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music "America's New Classical Music"; it's a pity that it's too long.

Play:

Say: I suggest you listen to the collection.

Play:

Say: Of what, allegedly?

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but you don't have a recording of it during the rest room break.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I performed it. The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I have yet to identify where it is Pudge that is based on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who lacks a logical sense.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to "baiting" me, John. You did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own personal spats without regard for topic. Not only is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: I see that you can't even make friends with somebody who has yet to identify an alternate source of irritation.

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? Maybe because the message from someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music to critique?

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you look at what you posted in response to my discussion of a pontification doesn't make it so. Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: And you went on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of which was acknowledged as being correct.

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not that it's a "piece of drivel". However, all you've been making personal attacks, which is what this newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been making personal attacks, which is not apt.

Play:

Say: Yes you did; look at what you preach and play it again."

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you have not given any reason for claiming that the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play: