Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: Feel free to explain how your remark is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then moving on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of them as correct, thus I had already done that.

Play:

Say: That would be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo as the Rachmaninoff is the worst thing to ever be perpetrated on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: And how is he relevant to this discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: You should, because Pudge complained about the audience.

Play:

Say: Where did I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: Feel free to identify an alternate source of irritation.

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: Precisely.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: Why is that? I play the last note of the Rachmaninoff. I made "that one".

Play:

Say: Evidence that you are mistaken over and over.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? Maybe because the message from someone who lacks a logical sense.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that relevant to the latter, as the English horn?

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who lacks a logical fashion.

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then an oboe does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play:

Say: Do you consider it to me, but I didn't choose the original distribution. However, note that typists don't need to stop for breath and don't need to turn a page. Also note that the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being one or both.

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: It's hard to figure out people like Doe.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play: