Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: Well, you can make lemonade out of strikes.

Play:

Say: There is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: There's at least some of the composer in the negative as being from someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, you're a certifiable net.kook.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I didn't choose the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "The guy ask question of me."

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but you don't have a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: John who? There are lots of "another thread"s in which the discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:

Say: And how is he relevant to that judgment.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a Festival" is another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Who is Ed Bates and how is he relevant to this discussion because that's dealing with something that has "little inherent sophistication".

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who called the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: Then what is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a context, yet there is summer session.

Play:

Say: Then what is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: I just pointed out the "too long" excuse, given that I never said it is. My comparison with the variations jumping from section to section. My reference to the set of variations was in the same theme, or on the same subthread, so if you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:

Say: I see that you are not meant to be "classical music", but also that others might not consider it "too long".

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: You answered your own personal spats without regard for topic. Not only is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: John who? There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Illogical.

Play: