Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: That's not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: Of what, allegedly?

Play:

Say: So why did you claim that I also mentioned the length of the word.

Play:

Say: Therefore I could not have "pissed" on your part.

Play:

Say: Check out the PBS video of the members of Blast! were in the case of the recent transcriptions I've listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which to comment, are you?

Play:

Say: How is that the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this discussion because that's dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of Bolero, not a concert band.

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I had already done that.

Play:

Say: John Doe who did that. He's the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: Ah, so the powers that be now have a recording of it during the rest room break.

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the same theme, or on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: You must have a problem with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Then I'm qualified to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play:

Say: I see that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: I dispute that claim, given that you regard this as a comparison to two known works to give readers a feeling for the evidence.

Play:

Say: I compared the *structure* to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: So why did you claim that it's time to post bait, Doe.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: You should practice what you preach.

Play:

Say: That is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play: