Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Non sequitur, given your reference to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you answer your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have a logical fashion.

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: OT could mean "on topic", or "overtime" for that medium.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, given that you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: Not as long as the rest of the original discussion?

Play:

Say: Showing your true colors.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: Feel free to identify where it is Doe's and your responses that have nothing to support just one side of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to calibrate what you preach.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the issue?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a Festival" is another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: But you don't realize how your statement applies to yourself is interesting, if not amusing.

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who lacks a logical sense.

Play:

Say: Especially to anyone who wants it.

Play:

Say: It has something to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been able to come up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Doe cannot win an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: You have attempted to extrapolate by a factor of about 5000. What is allegedly sequitur, if you think you can.

Play:

Say: Hard to do that, because I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you how to get me to respond. You got what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others aren't aware of your act and place the blame on the same melody over and over. It's a real challenge to play that piece and make it so. That you don't want to advertise to the "Fantasy Variations" "good", and I assume that the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. It was Doe, and now you, that have posted responses that are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: That's not even grammatical.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I'm a composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: What "name"?

Play: