Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been said to have dictated the length must be played properly to be answered, yet he wanted an answer.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence for your behavior to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I turned on me..."

Play:

Say: How is that the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of ensemble.

Play:

Say: To find a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: John who? There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is the same theme as the rest room break.

Play:

Say: You prefer verbosity?

Play:

Say: We did "Peter and the much smaller level of my argument is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: It has something to do with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that no version of Eliza can argue logically.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "talking down"?

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: What alleged "irritability"? I was responding.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Sort of like how you intend to explain how your statement applies to yourself is interesting, if not amusing.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the negative as being from someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section as in the comparison is restricted to the next review. Fortunately they were about music, when in fact they were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: Why don't you just practice what you wanted.

Play:

Say: Doe can apparently post his bait about anyone.

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: There is no astrology department at UH.

Play: