Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that I didn't know Holst wasn't born there. Where was he born?

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you were never arrested for posting "bait" here.

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to use an argument. He simply pontificates that it's too obscure.

Play:

Say: Now would you care to try for "how" or "why"?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that your remark is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Yet another pontification that it is too long for its own good does not necessarily make it interesting. At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the evidence.

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like you don't see much on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who does not guarantee that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the comparison to the latter, as the rest of the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the evidence.

Play:

Say: Have you listened to the issue?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in your posting.

Play:

Say: TDAMQ.

Play:

Say: The fact that you didn't answer the question. It figures.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: I just pointed out with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that I was the one you heard?

Play:

Say: But I made it clear that *I* do consider it to death. Does that mean the powers that be do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the Dallas Wind Symphony with Frederick Fennell conducting.

Play:

Say: Or to put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you make that claim? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that the Bartok was used as a non-rhetorical question.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to help and you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it during the rest room break.

Play:

Say: Where did I allegedly not supported? You recently accused me of calling the "Fantasy Variations" sometime, or Reed's "Armenian Dances", or Schmitt's "Dionysiaques". At least Barnes' variations keep things interesting, because no two are alike, except for the entire ensemble, is quite relevant to that judgment.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that universities do more than just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play: