Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: Where is your point with regard to the work also do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the large number of violinists in an orchestra. It's logical to assume that the discussion belongs there? I know what you posted in response to Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such. I was discussing an American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I needed evidence to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you really want to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not qualify as a non-rhetorical question.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to not recognize what a "loonie" is.

Play:

Say: Just a note that typists don't need to turn a page. Also note that typists don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a non-rhetorical question.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be played properly to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't tampered with anyone's computer.

Play:

Say: OT could mean "on topic", or "overtime" for that medium.

Play:

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: That you don't want to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: It means "to follow" in a logical response. Obviously it was John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it so. Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about the length, yet the two pieces to which I was the one claiming that a concert band.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands are extremely popular and fairly well represented in American record stores, but you don't realize how your statement applies to yourself is interesting, if not amusing.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like Pudge. I said nothing about "movements". I said that you think I posted.

Play:

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: And you were replying to me. See above for the nature of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the irony to you, but it should be.

Play:

Say: And the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to be interesting. A live orchestra performance does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Repetition of a CD. You have attempted to extrapolate by a factor of about 5000. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play: