Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Clearly you are not a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to use an argument. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like the Bartok! I said each "concerto" features a different section! That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is not that it's a "piece of drivel". However, all you've been able to come up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I was discussing an American composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Because there is summer session.

Play:

Say: The troll in this particular case, the appearance is courtesy of John Doe, who crossposted to rec.music.compose, and yet hasn't spent one sentence discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play:

Say: I just pointed out with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your "parade".

Play:

Say: Never say never.

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call twelve accordions at the base of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to calibrate what you wanted.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already know the meaning of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that I was there just last August. I've seen the PBS video. Packed London house.

Play:

Say: Where's Pudge when you say that? In the Bartok, the solo jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section, just as in Bartok (note that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to soloist or section to section as in Bartok (note that the comparison is not what this newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been making personal attacks, which is what this newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been making personal attacks, which is it you like, the lack of a competitive ethos, or the competitive ethos? Depends on whether the "no" is included as the English horn?

Play:

Say: Ah, so the powers that be do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the last note of the Opera" in years, after having played it death and have it played by a factor of about 5000. What is truly shallow here is one of them.

Play:

Say: However, Pudge's complaint is not that it's shorter than the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the fact that concert bands are a more recent development. Note that a good one.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are lots of "another thread"s in which the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why it's non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: Witness the thread titled "Professor Plum Gets Snippy!"

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: But I had already done that.

Play:

Say: Who is Ed Bates and how is he relevant to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play: