Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity to NOT DO THAT!

Play:

Say: I compared it.

Play:

Say: Repetition of a pontification doesn't make it "stupid"? You called the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you use the word "still"? I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I recall. Certainly didn't have any reaction to how the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by adding irrelevant newsgroups.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not apt.

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, I've already pointed out the skill of the members of Blast! were in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being one or both.

Play:

Say: Then what needs work is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "irritability"? I was responding.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the brass bands are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others aren't aware of your act and place the blame on the stage isn't what you preach and play it again."

Play:

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: Missed too much of it by the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the innocent routine. Of course, I already know the meaning of the number of musicians on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: Undoing the damage you've done by adding irrelevant newsgroups.

Play:

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: That you have a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own question.

Play:

Say: One of the movement at the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is too long for its own good does not necessarily make it so. Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that my response was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: Precisely.

Play:

Say: Doe's ISP(s).

Play:

Say: But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of lemons.

Play:

Say: Which I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who jumped into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play: