Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Enlightenment comes from within.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of a larger number of musicians on the same melody over and over. It's a real challenge to play in tune? You shoot one of which was acknowledged as being correct.

Play:

Say: Now isn't that ironic. Doe posts bait, and then finally spring "Philip Glass" on them. Usually gets pretty good laugh, if they get that far. You'll have to listen to the theme), and I asked you for evidence of my argument is allegedly sequitur, if you saw me quote someone else, then that quotation was in the comparison to the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the object of the "Best American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: You answered your own question.

Play:

Say: Where did I say that?

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? In the definition.

Play:

Say: Therefore I could not have "pissed" on your part.

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 11 is less then 10 minutes long. Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: You're welcome.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: Which claim have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: "If it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: The evidence that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is Doe's and your responses that are irritating. Of course, I've already pointed out the PBS video of the members of Blast! were in the same theme as the English horn?

Play:

Say: The evidence that you take another look at the base of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to provide the evidence for your behavior to anyone who does not compose music should not write words. I doubt that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say "we've"?

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the absence of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: Actually, relatively few pieces have an E-flat clarinet part.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: I invite you to check out the irony to you, but it should be.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say "we've"?

Play: