The Troll Variations
for a soloist
by
Tom Duff
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Instructions

This piece is for a soloist playing any instrument.

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: How about the "Symphonic Overture" or "Visions Macabre"?

Play:




Say: It was the lack of a competitive ethos, or the competitive ethos? Depends on whether the "no" is included as the former is irrelevant here.)

Play:




Say: Meanwhile, you're already out of lemons.

Play:


Say: Where did the opposite of ignore me. You "baited" me, by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:






Say: Illogical, as antagonists like you don't want to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been "baiting" me.

Play:






Say: The troll in this newsgroup and the much smaller level of traffic in this newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:


Say: What might that be?

Play:


Say: Actually, nobody has been about American composers, thus it is "stupid".

Play:




Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:


Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:




Say: After a fashion.

Play:


Say: Then I'm qualified to be perpetrated on the concept of ensemble.

Play:


Say: Doe cannot win an argument can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:


Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play:


Say: Like John Doe.

Play:


Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been able to articulate their opinions, unlike you.

Play:






Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:


Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I never claimed that Rach's is the "right" length. However, as I already have. Where have you been?

Play:






Say: An illogical question, given that the trouble may extend to people who program the work several times, I have eliminated the possibility that it is too long?

Play:






Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the messages to which I am unfamiliar.

Play:


Say: Witness the number of times you've played it.

Play:


Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:


Say: As opposed to the collection.

Play:


Say: Irrelevant, given that the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of a particular composer, you continued to crosspost irrelevant responses. You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:






Say: Evidence, please. Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:




Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:


Say: Of what, allegedly?

Play:


Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup in which the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the piano. However, in this discussion is occurring.

Play:




Say: I see that you "had no idea"...

Play:


Say: Incorrect; it is too long for its own good. He simply posted "bait".

Play: