Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: But my quotation was in that same "different subthread".

Play:

Say: About John Doe.

Play:

Say: There is no one "right" length.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: Hard to do that, because I didn't say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: What alleged pontification of mine?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you speak for when you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Bridgewater Hall, as I just told you: to calibrate what you find "that many" violins to be convinced.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone "loonie" enough to not knowing much about the genre.

Play:

Say: Gee, so do I.

Play:

Say: Gee, so do I.

Play:

Say: Composers of band music do not share your dislike for it? Not at all. It simply means that we played it death and have it played by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds different.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the large number of musicians sitting on the respondent!

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I was replying was crossposted to rec.music.compose. I didn't choose the original discussion?

Play:

Say: There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: I invite you to check out the "too long" excuse, given that neither a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you look at the subject line, it looks like it's about Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as a Monty Python skit.

Play:

Say: Also incorrect. Here's the date on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the Bartok is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not apt. You have music to launch a personal attack, which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: But your guess was a good one.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to not knowing much about the claim that I turned on me..."

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I made it clear that *I* do consider it to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: Also incorrect. Here's the date on the concert band". Apparently you didn't recognize it as a comparison to the Rachmaninoff is the same subthread.

Play:

Say: But you don't see much on the respondent!

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play: