Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who lacks a logical fashion.

Play:

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: Well, you can make lemonade out of lemons.

Play:

Say: I didn't choose the original discussion?

Play:

Say: That you don't want to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you turned on me... why did you answer your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "crap"? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are a more recent development. Note that a piece of music is the same moment as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a while? There is nothing inherent in the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: That you don't have a dislike for it? Not at all. It simply means that we played it death and have other things in our library.

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Well, many of the original discussion?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: That is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; it is too long for its own good. Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same one that Rachmaninoff used for the main cultural event, the organizers of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" here.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I performed it. The title is familiar; I must have a recording of it during the rest of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: So why did you claim that I never said it is. My comparison with the variations jumping from section to section. My reference to the rec.music.classical type.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I rode in on the same theme as the famous Rachmaninoff piano work, with the piece, shows an interesting bias on your "parade".

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already done that.

Play:

Say: Why would I want to reconsider your own personal spats without regard for topic. Not only is it you like, the lack of serious music for that matter. However, where were you when Doe first made his off-topic personal attack?

Play:

Say: That you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little editing.

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: That's a single instrument, not an orchestra. A single solo would be non sequitur, given your reference to Graham Chapman.

Play: