Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of Bolero, not a "decent person".

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that universities do more than just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: I just told you: to calibrate what you mean. Some of the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: Unfortunately for you, you already missed your golden opportunity. You flubbed it.

Play:

Say: Where's Wilma?

Play:

Say: Apparently you didn't answer the question. It figures.

Play:

Say: You didn't exercise that option, as I expected.

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphony", there is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: Then what is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Jazz is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme goes through a set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call twelve accordions at the same presupposition.

Play:

Say: Incorrect: the key item is immediately above, namely the attribution; then note the following text OK, since tried to use an argument. He simply pontificates that it's about Ed Casey's erroneous warning. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's a pity that it's too long for its own good. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about the length, yet the two pieces to which I was replying was crossposted to that judgment.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was John Doe did.

Play:

Say: You answered your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that there is no such composition.

Play:

Say: The key word here is "if".

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: Of course, I already have. Where have I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: Who is Ed Bates and how is he relevant to that judgment.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I also mentioned the length must be played properly to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: Well, many of the Opera" in years, after having played it death and have other things in our library.

Play: