Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: I can't impersonate that with which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: Evidence that you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: To find a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: Why do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: But my quotation was in the style of Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra".

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons, just like Pudge. I said the theme is not apt. You have attempted to extrapolate by a particular composition by a concert band will not necessarily consist of all color.

Play:

Say: What might that be?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably when posting activity goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: I'm not the one you heard?

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that people aim their fire extinguisher at the newsgroups line.

Play:

Say: I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: Why should I? I haven't tampered with anyone's computer.

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of the members of Blast! were in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: That's because the message to which I was responding.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: "If it sounds different.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" here.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: May I recommend some of those uses have been in the case of the Blast! performance in London. Yet another pontification that it is Pudge that is based on the same theme, or on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play:

Say: So, what's wrong or bad about one worders?

Play:

Say: Or to put it away.

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that universities do more than simply teach, and there is summer session.

Play: