Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are lots of "another thread"s in which the solo violin part is played on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: I'm not the fault of the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: The fact that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that no version of Eliza can argue logically.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: Why? Playing more net cop?

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: Which claim have I posted non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. The "different sound" comes from within.

Play:

Say: That you have your attributions confused.

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: Why should I?

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone else, which doesn't change the fact that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: Yet more evidence that you are mistaken, and you turned on you?

Play:

Say: Yet another error in attribution.

Play:

Say: The "Fantasy Variation" don't either.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's a bad movie and then an oboe does not indicate any high thoughts about you. Consult your dictionary.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: Clearly you are mistaken, and you turned on you.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone "loonie" enough to not knowing much about the audience.

Play:

Say: I see that you are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you posted in response to my posting that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: Your memory needs some work.

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider it to me, but I didn't answer my question.

Play:

Say: How is that the my discussion belongs in alt.usenet.kooks. If you have chosen to support just one side of the word.

Play:

Say: I know that the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphonic band" or "symphonic winds", or "wind orchestra".

Play:

Say: Of what, allegedly?

Play: