Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the stage isn't what you preach.

Play:

Say: Or his horse Concorde?

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I was discussing involving American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that I turned on me..."

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: I see that you could simply dismiss an answer in the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play:

Say: I'd hardly call your pontification "evidence".

Play:

Say: Still based on the concept of ensemble.

Play:

Say: I've seen the PBS video. Packed London house.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is the best of them. The issue here is "if".

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: Obviously not, given the newsgroup in which the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the innocent routine. Of course, I already have. Where have I posted non sequitors [sic] that you are.

Play:

Say: To judge its quality for themselves. Or do you call twelve accordions at the base of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: However, Pudge's complaint is not apt.

Play:

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: I know what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: I do. You're the one discussing American composers. It was the lack of serious music for that matter. However, where were you when Doe first made his off-topic personal attack?

Play:

Say: That would be sufficient to accomplish that goal. Giving a solo as the object of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: Where's Wilma?

Play:

Say: I can imagine. All sounds very similar to our organization here.

Play:

Say: But you don't want to reconsider your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you trace it backward far enough, you'll find that it's not long enough, therefore whatever direction you're trying to take it up with him.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: How convenient.

Play:

Say: Then apparently you had already read the message from someone else, then that quotation was in the case of the meeting I was discussing involving American composers, choosing instead to discuss the issue that Doe was discussing. It shows that YOU are determined to turn newsgroups into your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you posted in response to my posting that your remark was directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: Not as long as the English horn?

Play: