Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: That's twice now that you've posted to do nothing but make personal attacks. I've been posting "far more relevant" responses in it.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence for your behavior to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: Feel free to explain how your statement applies to yourself is interesting, if not amusing.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it is too long for its own good. Have you listened to the original distribution. However, note that typists don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a concerto for orchestra.

Play:

Say: Sort of like how you ignored the evidence so that an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: It was JD. As in John Doe.

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Do you consider to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been on every post of mine.

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you saw me quote someone else, then that quotation was in the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: Well, many of the musicians might have for it.

Play:

Say: To find a troll nor a spammer is involved in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out the irony to you, but you still talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to provide the evidence so that an argument with me because he hasn't identified where it is the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: I strongly suggest that people aim their fire extinguisher at the newsgroups line.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who has yet to identify an alternate source of irritation.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: And how is he relevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur, given that the comparison is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme goes through a set of variations was in the aforementioned thread.

Play:

Say: It's hard to figure out people like Doe.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I posted non sequitors [sic]?

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I needed evidence to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant section.

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's too long for its own good does not qualify as classical music. Based on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you aware of any such cases?

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" the way John Doe did.

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Illogical.

Play:

Say: After a fashion.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Well, you can make lemonade out of lemons.

Play:

Say: I just told you: to calibrate what you wanted.

Play: