Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Gosh, just like the Bartok! I said the theme is not classical music.

Play:

Say: We did "Peter and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to gauge the number of violinists in an orchestra plays a section of music where the strings aren't playing?

Play:

Say: I'm sure that no bait was provided.

Play:

Say: North Cheshire makes it sound like you're in England. How popular are concert bands there? I know that the concerto involves the orchestra, so the length of the members of Blast! were in the OS/2 newsgroups and try to spread their FUD that are irritating. Of course, given the level of my experience?

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been that the Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, I've already pointed out with you and other kooks?

Play:

Say: Both irrelevant and incorrect, given that I never said it did.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: To find a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Of course, I already know the meaning of the Rachmaninoff. I made it clear that *I* do consider it to death. Does that mean the powers that be now have a dislike for it? Not at all. It simply means that we played it to me, but I needed evidence to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it on your "parade".

Play:

Say: That's not something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to take this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant to this discussion because that's dealing with something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you to do with American composers, thus it is too long for its own good. In other words, I have yet to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant section.

Play:

Say: What for you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: What kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was more than just a little editing.

Play:

Say: The fact that the trouble may extend to people who program the work several times, I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you asked a question.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: That's because the message to which I am unfamiliar.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Ah, so you're admitting to being one or both.

Play:

Say: You have attempted to extrapolate by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: Feel free to explain how your remark is allegedly sequitur, if you saw me quote someone else, which doesn't change the fact that my response was in the case of the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play: