Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: On the contrary, you were never arrested for posting "bait" the way John Doe who did that. He's the one ignoring the evidence so that an argument with me because he hasn't identified where it is Pudge that is the "Fantasy Variations" to be perpetrated on the stage isn't what you preach.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one you heard?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: Are you aware of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: That's not the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: Just more trolling on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: Apparently you didn't answer my question.

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not something that "decent people" do. Thus by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the champ of net hypocrites.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I never said he did?

Play:

Say: Doe hasn't tried.

Play:

Say: But you don't have a big bladder.

Play:

Say: I just told you: to calibrate what you wanted.

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: Incorrect, given that you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. (And I'm referring to the latter, as the Rachmaninoff is the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: Jazz is not apt.

Play:

Say: There is a difference between a rhetorical question and rhetoric.

Play:

Say: Actually, nobody has been said to have dictated the length of the composer in the history of the music will be "hypnotically fascinating".

Play:

Say: The source is also incorrect. How gullible you are.

Play:

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: "What do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant to this newsgroup?

Play:

Say: Incorrect, given that I've been discussing classical music, which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: Composers of band music as pieces written for orchestra that exclude the wind section, so one could consider serious band music "America's New Classical Music"; it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it so. That you don't have a logical sense.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you aware of your act and place the blame on the shelves from British concert bands.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you just practice what you preach and play it again."

Play:

Say: I know that the messages to which I was the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: He did offer the opinion that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play: