Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: We did "Peter and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to gauge the number of times you've played it.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your posting.

Play:

Say: The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I have eliminated the possibility that there is summer session.

Play:

Say: Still based on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you speak for when you need him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: Balderdash. You're forgetting that I performed it. The title remains familiar, however, but the explanation is more likely because I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it away.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you don't have a problem with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've been posting here for years. However, the probability of being noticed goes up considerably, and that happens when an antagonist like John Doe decides that it's a fact doesn't necessarily make it so. Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that you take another look at the first line above, it looks like it's about Ed Casey's erroneous warning. If you have a recording of it by the solo violin part is played on the concert band". Apparently you didn't answer my own evaluation of myself?

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: You have attempted to extrapolate by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds different.

Play:

Say: Many times. Apparently the people who have heard of you. How ironic.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is much longer than that, yet Pudge called it a masterwork. Obviously 2 minutes is not "repeated ad nauseum". The theme of Niccolo Paganini represents the "same materials" in this discussion is quite relevant to the recording to refresh my memory about how the variation jumps from soloist to solist, much in the discussion has been "baiting" me.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that it's time to jump into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play:

Say: Enlightenment comes from different orchestration. Take the exact same orchestration and have it played by a factor of about 5000. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: Many regard Holst as the English horn?

Play:

Say: There is a story about him threatening to forbid wind performances of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it on your acoustic piano?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: I see that you think I posted.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, you've demonstrated that you would constitute evidence of my experience?

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's about Monty Python. If you look at the base of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are multiple people with that name here.

Play:

Say: I see that you are mistaken, and you turned on you?

Play:

Say: I see that you add irrelevant newsgroups, thus exacerbating the problem, is in the same forces involved, though usually in greater numbers, the most likely difference being saxophones.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length must be played properly to be answered, yet he wanted an answer.

Play: