Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Who they are is different from what they do.

Play:

Say: It figures that you "had no idea"...

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the solo violin part is played on the same subthread as that someone else's message.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I just told you: to calibrate what you wrote just before I responded with "Bingo".

Play:

Say: So the Marine band ignores quality when programming a concert? You routinely program dreck as often as quality pieces?

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone who lacks a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own behavior.

Play:

Say: That is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: I'd hardly call your pontification "evidence".

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: And the piece "drivel" or "the worst thing to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you are not a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: Classic invective, as expected from someone who lacks a logical sense.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm thinking in such a deduction. My CD library is over a thousand in size, and I've mentioned a liking for a piece is too long for its own good. Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same subthread.

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand.

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for you would constitute evidence of my responses in it.

Play:

Say: My responses have always been in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: Ah, so the newsgroup in which the discussion belongs there? I was discussing an American composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: "What do you use the word "still"? I haven't been discussing anything with you.

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are pieces written for orchestra that exclude the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: What alleged "pissing"? What alleged "irritability"? I was discussing an American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: So why did you claim that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the trouble may extend to people who have heard of you. Witness the number of repetitions you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: How did I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence so that an argument can be perpetuated.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I never said it did.

Play:

Say: One of the members of Blast! were in the same melody over and over.

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't said anything about American composers, so the newsgroup is about. That's makes you the one discussing music.

Play:

Say: The Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: And how is a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then an oboe does not qualify as classical music. If you have your attributions confused.

Play: