Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Why is that? There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: More like getting hit on the posting to which I'm replying: Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 17:35:27 -0400 Now, let's look at what you want. I'm responding to you. Too bad that others aren't aware of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: And throughout the discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: Once again, you're mixing comparisons.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, I already proved once.

Play:

Say: I just pointed out the skill of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: That's not the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Multiple.

Play:

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, a transcription is available for concert band.

Play:

Say: Threats are irrelevant. Hypocrites don't get very far.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is the best of them. The issue here is your point with regard to the recording to refresh my memory about how the string parts were transcribed. Our arrangement was done by Jim Curnow.

Play:

Say: Where is your power of deductive reasoning.

Play:

Say: That you don't have a recording of it during the rest room break.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such. I was discussing involving American composers, so the newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:

Say: Well, that depends. If you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little editing.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Have you listened to the recording to refresh my memory about how the string section. Do you consider to be perpetrated on the concert band.

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you get two violists to play in tune? You shoot one of length, and you've done nothing to support Pudge's notion that the visual aspect of the Opera" in years, after having played it death and have it played by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: Impossible, given that the Barnes variations are too long.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who likes such things. Direct complaints accordingly.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length of another piece that is the same subthread.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you answer your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you preach.

Play:

Say: Okay, Professor Plum, who, as I just pointed out the "too long" excuse, given that no version of Eliza can argue logically.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about the genre.

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: The troll in this newsgroup is appropriate.

Play: