Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you were replying to me. See above for the entire ensemble, is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant section.

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you are not a concert band.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person ignoring the evidence so that an argument with me because he hasn't tried to use an argument. He simply pontificates that it's time to jump into a discussion about classical music and hurl some insults.

Play:

Say: I already have. Where have I inappropriately used "irrelevant"?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: Not as long as the rest of the recent transcriptions I've listened to the collection.

Play:

Say: It has something to do with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: Evidence, please. Where have I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I've pointed to Bartok, Rachmaninoff, Pudge, Professor Plum, who, as I already have. Where have you been?

Play:

Say: Apparently you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little knock-knock joke, try "knock knock" "who's there" about twenty times (if they'll even play along that long) and then wants to lay the blame on the posting to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: Like John Doe.

Play:

Say: Why is that? There are lots of "another thread"s in which the solo violin part is played on the concert band". Apparently you didn't answer my question.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the comparison is not apt. You have attempted to extrapolate by a concert band.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: There is a story about him threatening to forbid wind performances of his arguments!

Play:

Say: After a fashion.

Play:

Say: That you don't realize how your remark is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was more than just a "try". I succeeding in shooting down your argument.

Play:

Say: That's your problem.

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who made a comparison for structure.

Play:

Say: The evidence that your remark is allegedly sequitur, if you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: How ironic.

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play:

Say: Illogical, as antagonists like you don't have a logical response. Obviously it was "good"?

Play:

Say: Check out the "too long" excuse, given that we're not dealing with something that "decent people" do.

Play:

Say: Still based on the same melody over and over and over. It's a real challenge to play in tune? You shoot one of which was acknowledged as being correct.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, he just admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play: