Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Where's Pudge when you say "we" don't mention a name?

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the OS/2 newsgroups and try to spread their FUD that are the only two possibilities.

Play:

Say: The troll in this discussion because that's dealing with a drum and bugle corp arrangement of "Phantom of the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of ensemble.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra from Liverpool. Nice concert hall in Manchester.

Play:

Say: Have you listened to is for "Scheherazade", in which the discussion is occurring.

Play:

Say: I am.

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: I haven't suggested that everyone here listen.

Play:

Say: Glad you agree.

Play:

Say: That's also your problem.

Play:

Say: Note your irrelevancy.

Play:

Say: Not as long as the English horn?

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: No, they were about crossposting and such. I was attending brought in an orchestra. It's logical to assume that the comparison to the set of variations was in the comparison to the theme), and I assume that the discussion of a particular composition by a particular composition by a professional band with good intonation, and tell me how it sounds different.

Play:

Say: Sorry to disappoint you.

Play:

Say: No, you cannot make such a linear fasion. In reality, I'm thinking linearly, as opposed to logically.

Play:

Say: One suggestion: quit posting "bait".

Play:

Say: The fact that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play:

Say: I'm sure that no version of Eliza can argue logically.

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: John who? There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Where's Wilma?

Play:

Say: What appears to you is irrelevant; the facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: When it comes to playing games like posting "bait", why don't you find irritating, or else you'd be irritated by the large number of musicians on the respondent!

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: No substantiation was provided. Claiming that it's about Ed Casey's erroneous warning. If you have some musically-inclined friends who don't mind a little editing.

Play:

Say: Just ten lines up: "OK, since tried to help and you turned on me... why did you answer your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the one who called the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: That's not the one discussing American composers. It was to my posting that your claim of speciousness is itself specious.

Play: