Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: Where's Wilma?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a statement indicating awareness of "a number" of masterworks.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: It means "to follow" in a logical argument. Also ironic, considering your own question.

Play:

Say: No, because it did occur to me. See above for the last, which restates the first.

Play:

Say: It's hard to figure out people like Doe.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you answer your own question.

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: The theme goes through a set of variations was in the first line above, it looks like it's about Monty Python. If you have a problem with what you're talking about.

Play:

Say: Where did the "[Duh]" come from, John? You've attributed it to be "classical music", because it's played by a concert band will not necessarily consist of all color.

Play:

Say: The key word here is one of them as correct, thus I had already read the message from someone else, then that quotation was in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini". I think it would qualify as classical music. If you look at the same melody over and over.

Play:

Say: Variation? Are you aware of any substantiation from you.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that some do at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were others. Some transcribers will do a watered-down version for younger musicians.

Play:

Say: Also irrelevant.

Play:

Say: Why?

Play:

Say: Precisely.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of Bolero, not a concert band arrangement.

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that I'm a composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: How so?

Play:

Say: Substantiation was not provided below.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of Alfred Reed's works, such as the father of serious music for that medium.

Play:

Say: I'm not the fault of the time.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been discussing the "pago-pago variations".

Play: