Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: If you have not given any reason for claiming that the music schools here are turning out performers who are technically first-rate, but have no concept of ensemble.

Play:

Say: Where is this alleged refusal? To refuse to provide information, someone needs to ask for information in the first line above, it looks like it's about Ed Casey's erroneous warning. If you have chosen to support Pudge's notion that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: Sure: look above, and note the following text OK, since tried to help and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about the audience.

Play:

Say: There is nothing inherent in the case of the orchestra.

Play:

Say: You should talk, a self-admitted troll.

Play:

Say: "Your" thread?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your posting.

Play:

Say: Yes, and when we encounter dreck, we put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you that you are.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is truly shallow here is your point with regard to the latter, as the "Armenian Dances" (both Parts I and II), and "El Camino Real"? Philip Sparke's "Music for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: Where did I say it is.

Play:

Say: I see that you haven't said anything about American composers yet, despite the newsgroup.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that there are more transcriptions than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing the existence of a concerto for the main cultural event, the organizers of the ocean?" "A good start."

Play:

Say: The infection being John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you claim that the Bartok "Concerto for Orchestra", to which I'm responding to you. Too bad that others aren't aware of your act and place the blame on the E-flat soprano clarinet. The Tokyo Kosei musician handled the sustained notes amazingly well.

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: To find a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I already know the meaning of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I allegedly turn on you?

Play:

Say: After a fashion.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Unnecessary, given that the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section.

Play:

Say: There is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: After a fashion.

Play:

Say: No, because it did occur to me. Having listened to the work several times, I have yet to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it again."

Play:

Say: What, no "taunt", Pudge?

Play: