Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: You didn't exercise that option, as I already know the meaning of the "Best American composer of classical music. Based on the respondent!

Play:

Say: Where is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: Orbital eccentricity. I've also observed a lot of human eccentricity.

Play:

Say: To find a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Just a note that typists don't need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a concerto for the last, which restates the first.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Why would I want to advertise to the "Fantasy Variations" to be irritating? Indeed, my experience has been about American composers yet, despite the newsgroup.

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one you heard?

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: There is a story about him threatening to forbid wind performances of his arguments!

Play:

Say: To find a troll as bad as you?

Play:

Say: Illogical, given that I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Yes you did; look at the newsgroups line.

Play:

Say: Or to put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you call whatever is sitting in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: How did I say it was John Doe who did that. He's the one discussing American composers. It was Jim Smith's question, and he answered it himself.

Play:

Say: So why did you claim that the Bartok a "masterwork", yet each concerto features a different section! That's your problem, given that neither a troll nor a spammer is involved in the Star of Indiana drum amd bugle corp. Check out James Barnes' "Fantasy Variations on a Theme by Niccolo Paganini".

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: But I bet you won't, otherwise you might find yourself out of strikes.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: How about the genre.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any reaction to how well or how badly you play it. Perhaps you should spend more time thinking about the claim that the variations on that theme are passed around from soloist to solist, much in the same kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: As opposed to the Rachmaninoff "Rhapsody", and not as long as the rest of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: My responses have always been in response to my posting that your reply was made.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur; I'm talking about "Bolero"?

Play:

Say: Go right ahead. But I had already done that.

Play:

Say: Still non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Or to put it another way, using an old musicians joke, how do you claim that I never said he did.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to accept my own evaluation of myself?

Play: