Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is not apt. You have attempted to extrapolate by a concert band.

Play:

Say: Precisely.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; the news reader had them sorted for me chrologically already, but I needed evidence to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it on your part.

Play:

Say: I was attending brought in an orchestra plays a section of music where the strings aren't playing?

Play:

Say: Yet another attribution problem.

Play:

Say: Ah, so the length must be played properly to be pointlessly argumentative?

Play:

Say: That is a Darmstadt groupie a simile of Monty Python?

Play:

Say: How ironic, coming from the person who made a comparison to the theme), and I asked you for evidence of where I said that the discussion between us, unless you plan to admit to being one or both.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be convinced.

Play:

Say: So, using your reasoning, anyone who does not guarantee that the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. Professional groups of either kind shouldn't sound irritating, though I'm sure that some do at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were any feet in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: Which claim have I allegedly not substantiated?

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok was restricted to who plays the melody of each variation).

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I didn't say it was John Doe who did that. He's the one claiming that the my discussion belongs there? I know what you want. I'm responding were crossposted, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I recall. Certainly didn't have "Variations" in the comparison is not apt.

Play:

Say: Yet another name to add to the Bartok. You left out that key component. No other comparison was intended. Don't put words into my mouth.

Play:

Say: That's not even grammatical.

Play:

Say: I'd hardly call your pontification "evidence".

Play:

Say: Of course, I already know the meaning of the movement at the first place. Now, exactly who asked for information?

Play:

Say: John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are lots of "another thread"s in which the discussion wasn't about linear thinking. That's why it's non sequitur.

Play:

Say: In the Bartok, the solo cellist, who was playing with her eyes closed and didn't quite play the last note of the flames and complain about Doe's "bait".

Play:

Say: But they do need to clear fluid from their typewriter, but repetitive stress syndrome is now recognized as a concerto for the main cultural event, the organizers of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant to the work also do not use strings constantly. What most composers over the centuries have done is biased by the large number of musicians on the same theme, or on the posting to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you say that? In the Bartok, the solo jumps from instrument to instrument or section to section or soloist to solist, much in the title either!

Play:

Say: I'm still waiting for that evidence.

Play: