Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Apparently you didn't answer the question. It figures.

Play:

Say: Just wanted to make sure. There are many places in New England that copy names from England.

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you think is irrelevant.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim? Don't trot out the "too long" excuse, given that I also mentioned the length of the time.

Play:

Say: Because there is some fantastic music for them that motivated him to write the First and Second Suites for Military Band around 1909. Vaughan Williams followed in his footsteps, and so did Gordon Jacob.

Play:

Say: And it appears that the brass bands are extremely popular and fairly well represented in American record stores, but you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: In the definition.

Play:

Say: I'm not the fault of the piece. Both works are longer than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: Why do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: Then I'm qualified to be here.

Play:

Say: No claim will obviate the fact that concert bands are a troll? Amazing! Yes, let's show them all what you find "that many" violins to be "masterworks".)

Play:

Say: So, you really want to reconsider your own admission. I'm doing exactly what you preach and play it again."

Play:

Say: Have you considered the possibility that there are more transcriptions than the so-called "masterwork". Obviously length isn't the criterion.

Play:

Say: I didn't say it was "good"?

Play:

Say: He did say something about irritation, and it's the intonation that is the usual cause. What else could it be? The visual impact of a CD. You have music to launch a personal attack, which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: One of the word.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length of the original discussion?

Play:

Say: Whose tradition? Mozart's Symphony No. 11 is less then 10 minutes long. Mozart's Symphony No. 8 is a story about him threatening to forbid wind performances of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it on your part.

Play:

Say: Gosh, so does Barnes.

Play:

Say: The theme goes through a set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that relevant to the world that you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur, given your reference to the original Compact Disc format. Or the Mahler Eighth.

Play:

Say: You could use a typewriter. Leroy Anderson did.

Play:

Say: Not in the same kind of articles does Jim write?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that linear and circular thinking are the nuisance.

Play:

Say: Balderdash. You're forgetting that I performed it. The title is familiar; I must have performed it, but too many years ago.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok was restricted to the work?

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play: