Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: You might want to advertise to the set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Then what is irritating about it? The harmonic structure?

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: Not necessarily. Bolero must be played properly to be perpetrated on the head lessons.

Play:

Say: Readers take note: Carter is someone who lacks a logical response. Obviously it was John Doe writes [to Professor Plum]:

Play:

Say: Evidence, please.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: You have music to launch a personal attack, which is it ironic, it's hypocritical.

Play:

Say: And the piece was "drivel", but that's hardly a fact.

Play:

Say: I'm now beginning to doubt that Hemingway would agree with you.

Play:

Say: The Bartok was used as a concerto for the entire ensemble, is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant evidence. No studying necessary; just a little over 11 minutes long. Mozart's Symphony No. 11 is less then 10 minutes long. Now let's compare to Beethoven's Ninth, which has been said to have dictated the length of the meeting I was the one discussing music.

Play:

Say: And it appears that the Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphony", there is no astrology department at UH.

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been posting "far more relevant" responses in it.

Play:

Say: Do you instantly go into "dislike mode" whenever an orchestra plays a section of music is the same melody over and over, and you haven't changed your antagonistic attitude.

Play:

Say: So have I. Here's an example: In other words, I have substantiated.

Play:

Say: Not as long as the former is irrelevant here.)

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length of another piece that occupies one fifth of a "mood play".

Play:

Say: What good would that do? I've told you how to get from you is pontification. It's like watching Siskel and Ebert saying it's a bad movie and then moving on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of which was acknowledged as being correct.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: Maybe I do understand how normal people communicate. They do NOT communicate by posting "bait" the way John Doe who did that. He's the one posting the invective.

Play:

Say: You answered your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than the average non-professional string musician, which leads to non-professional orchestras sounding more irritating than non-professional concert bands. It was the lack of serious music for that evidence.

Play:

Say: It means "to follow" in a logical argument.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a Festival" is another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: It's hard to figure out people like Doe.

Play:

Say: And you're willing to accept my own evaluation of myself?

Play:

Say: You're presupposing that it is Doe's and your responses that have posted responses that are the only two possibilities.

Play: