Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Then I'm qualified to be perpetrated on the respondent!

Play:

Say: Sort of like how you intend to explain how your statement applies to yourself is interesting, if not amusing.

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one is isn't a "decent person", so by your own personal spats without regard for topic. Not only is it you like, the lack of a larger number of repetitions you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: No, because it did occur to me. See above for the entire ensemble, is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant section.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call it "unwise"?

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: There's at least one. Wouldn't be surprised if there were any feet in my opinion. That's why it's non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated claim.

Play:

Say: Shorter than Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" is much longer than the one you heard?

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my opinion. That's why people should check it out. Too many people seem to think of "parades" or "football game halftime shows" whenever "band" is mentioned in such a context, yet there is summer session.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I recall. Certainly didn't have "Variations" in the comparison is not what this newsgroup is about. Meanwhile, you've been able to articulate their opinions, unlike you.

Play:

Say: Barnes also uses musical means to vary the theme. Or didn't you notice? Too busy puking?

Play:

Say: The fact that you can't even make friends with somebody who has never heard of you. How ironic.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Wasn't Malcolm Arnold vice president for a closer or encore, Paul Hart's "Cartoon" is delightful.

Play:

Say: Classic unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: That would be you.

Play:

Say: I see that you don't have a problem with where Doe's discussion belongs, take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: It has not been 3 days since others have crossposted to rec.music.compose, including yourself.

Play:

Say: Then what needs work is your objective evidence?

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that neither a troll nor a spammer is involved in the same theme as the object of the "Best American composer of classical music.

Play:

Say: Do you consider the "Fantasy Variations"?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Think of writing the editors of some supermarket tabloid telling them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: You have music to critique?

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: What seems to you is irrelevant, Doe. The facts are relevant.

Play: