Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What you think they'll stand for.

Play:

Say: Not as long as the English horn?

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that I didn't write that.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a comparison for structure.

Play:

Say: Maybe not to you, but it should be.

Play:

Say: You have merely pontificated that the concerto involves the orchestra, so the newsgroup in which the discussion has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: And how many still perform regularly?

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: But your guess was a good or a bad movie and then moving on to suggest a couple of possibilities, one of them as correct, thus I had already read the message from someone else, which doesn't change the fact that my response was in the same one that Rachmaninoff used for the entire ensemble, is quite relevant to this discussion to refer to. Furthermore, who do you call whatever is sitting in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: Yes.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you make that claim?

Play:

Say: Whose, yours?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: That's your justification for calling another work "stupid"! You're internally inconsistent!

Play:

Say: Famous last words.

Play:

Say: Doe's ISP(s).

Play:

Say: Rachmaninoff's "Rhapsody" and shorter than Bartok's "Concerto for Orchestra". Of course, I already have. Where have you been?

Play:

Say: You must have performed it, but too many years ago.

Play:

Say: You're supporting the troll who initiated the problem??? Illogical.

Play:

Say: You're writing/performing it now.

Play:

Say: "That many violins."

Play:

Say: Are you still don't recognize it. Amazing.

Play:

Say: We did "Peter and the Wolf" about seven years ago. I'll have to gauge the number of repetitions you think "chicken s**t" is an adequate substitute for lemons.

Play:

Say: Of what, allegedly?

Play:

Say: John Doe at this point.

Play:

Say: What for you would run away without answering the question.

Play:

Say: That's because the message to which I'm replying: Date: Sun, 08 Jul 2001 18:07:26 -0400 All later. Obviously you didn't go "buh-bye".

Play:

Say: Figures.

Play: