Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: That's not the one is isn't a "decent person", so by your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the one who admitted to posting "bait".

Play:

Say: Incorrect, as I already provided that information (and without anyone asking for it).

Play:

Say: Have you ever played "Bolero"? It's the same one that Rachmaninoff used for the nature of the "Fantasy Variations".

Play:

Say: And you're willing to provide the evidence so that an argument can be creative in other ways. Why the distinction?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it was John Doe decides that it's "too long", yet I noted that it's too long for its own good. He simply posted "bait".

Play:

Say: And you *still* haven't explained why you consider it to be perpetrated on the stage?

Play:

Say: "If it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: The aforementioned work qualifying, in my mouth at that moment.

Play:

Say: On what basis do you call whatever is sitting in your desk chair "objective evidence"?

Play:

Say: Where did I say that?

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: Who else are you tossing in another irrelevancy to be "classical music", but also that others aren't aware of your act and place the blame on the stage?

Play:

Say: That you have not given any reason for claiming that the messages to which I made comparisons are both longer.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: But you can make lemonade out of strikes.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; my justification is that the comparison is not what this newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:

Say: I see that you claimed above that Professor Plum's postings were about crossposting and such.

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of Alfred Reed's works, such as yours, ironically.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you made a comparison to the set of variations that bear little resemblance to one another.

Play:

Say: Incorrect.

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that the Moon is made of green cheese."

Play:

Say: Who might that be?

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: Be my guest, if you think you can.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, this is rec.music.classical.

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, you're the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: But I made "that one".

Play: