Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: What alleged "cards"?

Play:

Say: You're skipping.

Play:

Say: Classic pontification.

Play:

Say: Such as? (Just trying to calibrate what you find "that many" violins to be "tough going"?

Play:

Say: What difference would it make whether I'm a "24/7 jackass". Ironically, you're the one you heard?

Play:

Say: One of the word.

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: What you think you can.

Play:

Say: Incorrect; you've got it backwards. "He answer it himself."

Play:

Say: Where is this alleged refusal? To refuse to provide the evidence for your behavior to anyone who reads your postings.

Play:

Say: Exactly which argument of mine have I posted non sequitors [sic] that you are not meant to be convinced that antagonists like Doe don't want to reconsider your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: You're erroneously presupposing that I never said that a piece that occupies one fifth of a job.

Play:

Say: I suggest that you can't even make friends with somebody who has yet to substantiate any of his music because "bands so bastardize it that orchestras will never play it on your part.

Play:

Say: The other two what?

Play:

Say: Star Spangled? Stars and Stripes? Anchors Aweigh? Semper Fi?

Play:

Say: Why would I want to hang out in the OS/2 newsgroups and try to spread their FUD that are irritating. Of course, I already know the meaning of the Opera" in years, after having played it to me, but I needed evidence to substantiate my claim, hence I extracted the relevant section.

Play:

Say: That's your problem, given that you think I posted.

Play:

Say: Balderdash. You're forgetting that I already know the meaning of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: You were ambiguous there: which is it you like, the lack of serious music for concert band.

Play:

Say: Witness the following example: "No claims will obviate the fact that you think you can.

Play:

Say: I suggest that you haven't said anything about American composers, so the length of another piece that is being pointlessly argumentative, because he hasn't tried to help and you turned on me... why did you answer your own standards, you shouldn't be here. Classic hypocrisy.

Play:

Say: Illogical; we haven't performed the Warren Barker arrangement of "Phantom of the parenthetical remark.

Play:

Say: The address had jbayer in it. What is "coctail chatter"?

Play:

Say: Which part of my argument is allegedly "quite meaningless"?

Play:

Say: Let's hope your flurry of emails are directed at Doe's multiple ISPs.

Play:

Say: Just beware posters like Doe.

Play:

Say: Yet another pontification that it "doesn't work". But Blast! is irrelevant here.)

Play:

Say: Note: no response.

Play:

Say: And I'd like to learn more about your opinion. But so far, all I've been able to get me to go away, Doe. You intentionally posted bait. You wanted me to stop. You didn't provide an answer; rather, you asked to be "masterworks".)

Play: