Instructions

Alternate sections are marked Say and Play. The Say sections are spoken or sung to an improvised tune in a stentorian and condescending manner, as a traffic court judge lecturing a recidivist speeder. Read as though the text makes perfect sense, even though its grammar and meaning may make sudden, unexpected turns.

The Play sections use an ordinary five-line staff with oval note heads () interspersed with diamond () and cross () note heads. Play in a manner that contrasts with the lecturer's attitude. Be mocking or solicitous or calm or resigned or anything else appropriate.

• I've used bar lines set off groups of notes. Groups should be observed by accent, phrasing, pauses or some other way.
• The cross () indicates some non-standard noise, like a multiphonic or a strum behind the bridge or a dropped drumstick or a cheese-grater arpeggio or something else. Use your imagination.
• The diamond () indicates a note that is one semitone (in either direction) different from the preceding note.
• Rhythm, tempo and dynamics are entirely up to the performer. Since no clef is specified, you can pick that as well.

You can play in concert with other performers, who may play other versions of this piece, or other any other materials, composed or improvised. When playing with others, the Say sections should be performed as disruptively as possible, and the Play sections should be played sensitively, with utmost regard to enhancing the performance of the other players.

Score

Say: Where is your looking back through previously read posts.

Play:

Say: In case it makes a difference, both Sparke and Hart were born in England.

Play:

Say: Ignorance is bliss.

Play:

Say: Well, many of the Blast! performance in London. Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: On your part.

Play:

Say: It's not your choice. History has already portrayed you as someone who uses two different names?

Play:

Say: "If it sounds good, then it IS good."

Play:

Say: That would be sufficient to justify the comparison, whereas you have a problem with what Doe was discussing, take it up with him, not me.

Play:

Say: It has not been 3 days since others have crossposted to that newsgroup, thus my response is appearing there as well.

Play:

Say: Irrelevant, given that the discussion has been removed, it's hard for readers to determine that.

Play:

Say: Yet another unsubstantiated and erroneous claim.

Play:

Say: Why should it be the other way around? The music itself is inanimate; it won't have any trouble hearing the minor mistake by the solo jumps from soloist to soloist or section to section as in Bartok (note that the discussion is quite relevant to the collection.

Play:

Say: Incorrect, though after the context has been on every post of mine.

Play:

Say: Non sequitur.

Play:

Say: You could have, because I've been posting here since a few years ago.

Play:

Say: The question is still illogical.

Play:

Say: You're mixing comparisons. The Bartok is even longer.

Play:

Say: Bingo, though they might prefer the term "symphony", there is some fantastic music for them that their aliens from outer space story was fiction. Would you expect them to back down?

Play:

Say: I haven't started the script.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you answer your own question if it wasn't rhetorical? You ask the guy question. Answer it yourself. Sure sounded like rhetoric to me.

Play:

Say: Many times. Have you?

Play:

Say: I'm looking you up on USENET right now, and you haven't substantiated your claim.

Play:

Say: Does it matter, or are you allegedly speaking for when you say "we've"?

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the theme is not what this newsgroup is appropriate.

Play:

Say: Actually, I've spelled them correctly, and some of the "Best American composer of classical music" thread.

Play:

Say: I invite you to take it up with Doe.

Play:

Say: On the contrary, the length of the Rachmaninoff. I made "that one".

Play:

Say: On the contrary, it's quite relevant.

Play:

Say: If the previous material was irrelevant, then why did you answer your own standards, you shouldn't be here. How ironic. You're the one who brought up irritation.

Play:

Say: I'm not the one claiming that a piece that is based on the same theme as the former is irrelevant to this discussion is quite irrelevant. Ironically, above you called this the relevant section.

Play: